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Alaundo
Head Moderator
United Kingdom
5696 Posts |
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Kajehase
Great Reader
Sweden
2104 Posts |
 Posted - 03 Jun 2007 : 10:29:44
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Been a week or so since I read this, so I'm not able to make a very detailed comment, but there were two things that stood out enough that I can bring them readily to mind.
1. I really like this story, but... it's left me wanting more. Good job Elaine .
2. I really enjoyed the scene between Danilo and Khelben. A very fine example of how it doesn't take much description to make a scene moving. Darn I wish I could write like that. |
There is a rumour going around that I have found god. I think is unlikely because I have enough difficulty finding my keys, and there is empirical evidence that they exist.
Terry Pratchett |
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Kuje
Great Reader
USA
7915 Posts |
Posted - 03 Jun 2007 : 15:15:31
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| I liked the expanded info about Ashemmi. Very cool Elaine. The foreshadowing that Khelben knew he wasn't going to be alive for much longer was also interesting. |
For some of us, books are as important as almost anything else on earth. What a miracle it is that out of these small, flat, rigid squares of paper unfolds world after world, worlds that sing to you, comfort and quiet and excite you... Books are full of the things that you don't get in real life - wonderful, lyrical language, for instance, right off the bat. - Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium |
Edited by - Kuje on 03 Jun 2007 15:28:12 |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31799 Posts |
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Rinonalyrna Fathomlin
Great Reader
USA
7106 Posts |
Posted - 03 Jun 2007 : 20:32:54
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| What I liked most about this story was how it turned out that Algorind was not a dupe being molded like clay by Sir Gareth (which the City of Splendors sourcebook implies, IIRC). I also like how the Sir Gareth plot gets resolved. |
"Instead of asking why we sleep, it might make sense to ask why we wake. Perchance we live to dream. From that perspective, the sea of troubles we navigate in the workaday world might be the price we pay for admission to another night in the world of dreams."
--Richard Greene (letter to Time) |
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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author
2396 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2007 : 13:42:47
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quote:
Originally posted by Rinonalyrna Fathomlin
What I liked most about this story was how it turned out that Algorind was not a dupe being molded like clay by Sir Gareth (which the City of Splendors sourcebook implies, IIRC). I also like how the Sir Gareth plot gets resolved.
Thanks. I figured it was time Algorind got a break.
I always saw Algorind as a young man of great promise, a genuinely good person who wished to do the right thing. He got caught up in something that was too warped and tangled for a man of his experience and nature to deal with. After all, he was only about eighteen years old. How many teenagers, especially a naive young man whose experience is limited to a closed society such as military monestary, would be prepared to deal with the moral dilemnas he faced, and with the duplicity of men such as Sir Gareth? The kid was over his head, big time, but I always intended that the rookie paladin would grow into his chosen role. |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31799 Posts |
Posted - 06 Jun 2007 : 15:40:36
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quote:
Originally posted by Kuje
The foreshadowing that Khelben knew he wasn't going to be alive for much longer was also interesting.
Having now read the story itself, I'm inclined to agree. That "flicker of emotion" made me shed a tear. 
And being the Danilo fan that I am, I was thoroughly glad to see him pop up again. It was intriguing to see him adopt such a "mature" role.
Well done Elaine.
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Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
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ElaineCunningham
Forgotten Realms Author
2396 Posts |
Posted - 08 Jun 2007 : 12:39:21
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Thanks, Sage. Glad to hear that you liked the story.
This tale has two lines of dialogue that I'm extremely happy with:
Danilo: "I have judged you harshly over the years."
Khelben: "That is what young men do."
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Ardashir
Senior Scribe
USA
544 Posts |
Posted - 13 Jun 2007 : 00:17:16
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quote:
Originally posted by Kajehase
2. I really enjoyed the scene between Danilo and Khelben. A very fine example of how it doesn't take much description to make a scene moving. Darn I wish I could write like that.
Write long enough and you will get that good. The only way to learn how to write is to write and submit what you write to editors. This is the voice of experience.
And I like that Algorind got some respect this time around. He got a hard lesson in Thornhold, but he learned from it. |
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KnightErrantJR
Great Reader
USA
5402 Posts |
Posted - 20 Jun 2007 : 03:46:45
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I have to concur with everyone so far. This was an absolutely great wrap up to Thornhold and I'm very happy that Algorind got a chance to grow into is role. I like the distinction that Elaine makes that he wasn't making horrible mistakes in Thornhold because he was a paladin, but because he was a young man that was just begining to understand what his role would be.
The Khelben/Danilo scene was indeed very touching. There was so much in the scene that wasn't explicitly spelled out, but foreshadowed really well. Danilo won't be Khelben's successor because he is his own man. Khelben is proud of Danilo, in part because he resisted Khelben's overtures to make him into a man that Khelben wants him to be.
And the irony of Danilo, despite being his own man, becoming more like Khelben in his minipulations of Algorind, and his self recimination over it. I loved it, and it really came through how difficult this must have been for Danilo.
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Charles Phipps
Master of Realmslore
1425 Posts |
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Rinonalyrna Fathomlin
Great Reader
USA
7106 Posts |
Posted - 24 Oct 2007 : 19:51:05
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| They seem to like each other. *shrug* |
"Instead of asking why we sleep, it might make sense to ask why we wake. Perchance we live to dream. From that perspective, the sea of troubles we navigate in the workaday world might be the price we pay for admission to another night in the world of dreams."
--Richard Greene (letter to Time) |
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Best of the Realms 3: The Knights of Samular
