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Auzoros
Seeker

Australia
97 Posts

Posted - 22 Aug 2009 :  15:20:43  Show Profile Send Auzoros a Private Message  Reply with Quote  Delete Topic
I have noticed some scribes have quotes within their signature's of characters from Realms novels. Most are quite humorous. So I thought I'd start a scroll where scribes can jot down some great pieces of conversation and timely remarks from novels and other Realms material.

Where possible, please reference your quotes with page#, title, and most importantly author. Afterall, it is their creativity for which we give credit.

scererar
Master of Realmslore

USA
1618 Posts

Posted - 22 Aug 2009 :  16:56:15  Show Profile Send scererar a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by scererar

mine is in my sig and from the character, Riven during a confrontation with Rivalen of the Shade Enclave

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Joran Nobleheart
Senior Scribe

USA
495 Posts

Posted - 22 Aug 2009 :  18:13:13  Show Profile  Visit Joran Nobleheart's Homepage Send Joran Nobleheart a Private Message  Reply with Quote
In an old boxed set was a map of Faerun and on the back it talked about Undermountain. I can never remember how the quote goes, but it's by Blackstaff, and he's saying something to the affect of, "If you ever come across a spell that turns air to stone, let me know as I've been looking for one." It's always been my favorite quote ever since I read it.

Paladinic Ethos
Saint Joran Nobleheart
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Bladewind
Master of Realmslore

Netherlands
1280 Posts

Posted - 23 Aug 2009 :  18:00:25  Show Profile Send Bladewind a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Rath the dwarf monk is funny as hell. In Downshadows earlier bar scenes, after Rath forced Blackbeards hand wielding the dagger into his companion next to him on the other side of the table: "Why would you stab your companion like that?"

My campaign sketches

Druidic Groves

Creature Feature: Giant Spiders
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Arion Elenim
Senior Scribe

933 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  03:38:33  Show Profile  Visit Arion Elenim's Homepage Send Arion Elenim a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Drasek Riven to Rivalen Tanthul: "And just who are YOU again?"

My latest Realms-based short story, about a bard, a paladin of Lathander and the letter of the law, Debts Repaid. It takes place before the "shattering" and gives the bard Arion a last gasp before he plunges into the present.http://candlekeep.com/campaign/logs/log-debts.htm
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Erik Scott de Bie
Forgotten Realms Author

USA
4598 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  05:13:37  Show Profile  Visit Erik Scott de Bie's Homepage Send Erik Scott de Bie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
My favorite one (from Ghostwalker) is in my sig. It's pretty much the theme of the book.

A line from Spellfire makes for a close second (to paraphrase):

Torm of the Knights of Myth Drannor is clinging to a window ledge and sticks his fingers accidentally into a nest, thus crushing a baby bird.

Torm: "Ugh."

[pause]

Bird speaking with Elminster's voice: "Well, how do you think I feel about it?"

Cheers

Erik Scott de Bie

'Tis easier to destroy than to create.

Author of a number of Realms novels (GHOSTWALKER, DEPTHS OF MADNESS, and the SHADOWBANE series), contributor to the NEVERWINTER CAMPAIGN GUIDE and SHADOWFELL: GLOOMWROUGHT AND BEYOND, Twitch DM of the Dungeon Scrawlers, currently playing "The Westgate Irregulars"
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Menelvagor
Senior Scribe

Israel
352 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  08:11:51  Show Profile  Visit Menelvagor's Homepage Send Menelvagor a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Although I don't like to admit it, many of the deepest quotes come from R. A. Salvatore. Not from Drizzt, though - he's too full of wangst. But from Artemis Entreri:

"And you know of course that to animate the corpse of a goodly man is a crime against all that is good and right. A crime against the Broken God!"
Entreri stared at Dudgald, narrowed his eyes, grinned, and spat on the floor. "Not my god", he explained.

"Let us say that we did battle, and I emerged the victor. By your reasoning, I would thus become the rightful King of Vaa-oh, wait. I see now. That would not serve, since I haven't the proper bloodline. What a cunning system you have there. You and all the other self-proclaimed royalty of Faerun. By your conditions, you alone are kings and queens and lords and ladies of court. You alone matter, while the peasent grovels and kneels in the mud, and since you alone are 'rightful' in the eyes of this god or that, then the peasent cannot complain. He must accept his muddy lot in life and revel in his misery, all in the knowledge that he serves the rightful king." - Artemis Entreri.

Also Jarlaxle's famous statement: "Sane is boring".

Then there's The Simbul, courtesy of Ed:
I am the Storm Queen, and I never threaten. I promise. - Alassra Silverhand.

I'm sure there are many other great quotes I don't remember at the moment. Maybe I'll add them later.

"Shall mortal man be more just than God? shall a man be more pure than his maker?
Behold, he put no trust in his servants; and his angels he charged with folly.
How much less them that dwell in houses of clay, whose foundation in the dust, are crushed before the moth?" - Eliphaz the Temanite, Job IV, 17-19.

"Yea, though he live a thousand years twice, yet hath he seen no good: do not all go to one place?" - Ecclesiastes VI, 6.

"There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots."

"Let's not call it 'hijacking'. Let's call it 'Thread Drift'."

Edited by - Menelvagor on 24 Aug 2009 08:13:02
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sfdragon
Great Reader

2285 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  09:06:06  Show Profile Send sfdragon a Private Message  Reply with Quote
here is a good one, most used be Khelben " The Blackstaff" Arunson, and it c an be used for just about anything.

-Indeed-KA

why is being a wizard like being a drow? both are likely to find a dagger in the back from a rival or one looking to further his own goals, fame and power


My FR fan fiction
Magister's GAmbit
http://steelfiredragon.deviantart.com/gallery/33539234
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Auzoros
Seeker

Australia
97 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  14:24:29  Show Profile Send Auzoros a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Erik Scott de Bie


A line from Spellfire makes for a close second (to paraphrase):

Torm of the Knights of Myth Drannor is clinging to a window ledge and sticks his fingers accidentally into a nest, thus crushing a baby bird.

Torm: "Ugh."

[pause]

Bird speaking with Elminster's voice: "Well, how do you think I feel about it?"

Cheers



LOL...I have not read Spellfire for ages, but you jogged my memory with this one and I recall the scene
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Auzoros
Seeker

Australia
97 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  14:34:24  Show Profile Send Auzoros a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Ok I have one from "Crucible the Trial of Cyric the Mad" by Troy Denning, Pg. 226.

"That witch is a demon from the Abyss!"
"No Malik," corrected the One (Cyric). "She is a Harper."
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Thauramarth
Senior Scribe

United Kingdom
729 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  20:26:22  Show Profile Send Thauramarth a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Somehow, I am sure that the best quotes from the Realms probably come from Danilo Thann, but I cannot seem to remember any right now... So, for an oldie from The Crystal Shard - Drizzt (before he became the epithome of Angst in the Realms). I may be off the mark a little bit (don't have the books here right now), but I am quite certain of the general gist:

Giant (just got the double scimitar treatment): "That was unfair!3
Drizzt: "Where in the Nine Hells did you get the notion that I would fight fairly?"
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LordManshoon
Acolyte

USA
12 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  20:39:10  Show Profile Send LordManshoon a Private Message  Reply with Quote
One that stands out in my mind is Drasek Riven's comment to Rivalen upon seeing the destruction of that other world (Emphras?) in Shadowrealm.

Riven: "Your goddess is a *****."

Sums up Shar pretty well in my mind.

Mastering myriad magics since Ed was young
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
Moderator

USA
36803 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  20:50:09  Show Profile Send Wooly Rupert a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Thauramarth

Somehow, I am sure that the best quotes from the Realms probably come from Danilo Thann, but I cannot seem to remember any right now...



Ditto!

I did just now recall a personal fave, though. From page 61 of the old Forgotten Realms Adventures hardcover, a quote by Khelben Arunsun, speaking of Bigby of Oerth and his 8,491* Bigby's Hand spells: "The old goat comes up with one good gimmick, and beats it to death with a rock."

*This number does not include Bigby's Crushing Tactical Nuke.

Candlekeep Forums Moderator

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-- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct

I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen!
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Erik Scott de Bie
Forgotten Realms Author

USA
4598 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  21:40:08  Show Profile  Visit Erik Scott de Bie's Homepage Send Erik Scott de Bie a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Thauramarth

Somehow, I am sure that the best quotes from the Realms probably come from Danilo Thann, but I cannot seem to remember any right now...

One of my favorite memories from writing Downshadow is crafting the scene in which the characters *quote* Danilo Thann, the famous poet, showing just how significant an impact he's had on the Realms. Actually, they compare notes on which of Thann's pieces are better for flirtation and flattery.

(And in case anyone's curious, that bit of poesy is the genuine article; I didn't make it up, myself.)

Cheers

Erik Scott de Bie

'Tis easier to destroy than to create.

Author of a number of Realms novels (GHOSTWALKER, DEPTHS OF MADNESS, and the SHADOWBANE series), contributor to the NEVERWINTER CAMPAIGN GUIDE and SHADOWFELL: GLOOMWROUGHT AND BEYOND, Twitch DM of the Dungeon Scrawlers, currently playing "The Westgate Irregulars"
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Brimstone
Great Reader

USA
3287 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  21:58:46  Show Profile Send Brimstone a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Dark and Empty.

"These things also I have observed: that knowledge of our world is
to be nurtured like a precious flower, for it is the most precious
thing we have. Wherefore guard the word written and heed
words unwritten and set them down ere they fade . . . Learn
then, well, the arts of reading, writing, and listening true, and they
will lead you to the greatest art of all: understanding."
Alaundo of Candlekeep
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Rory
Seeker

79 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  22:27:18  Show Profile  Visit Rory's Homepage Send Rory a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I got a bunch of them because I used to write them as I read.

The one that sticks out before I look up the others is by Anders Aricssen in the city of Ravens. He and Jack Ravenwild were haggling over the split of the gems they were about to steal from some foreign gentry when Anders noted something to the effect that if he has to fight their guardian demon he should deserve a greater split. Jack replied in a way that would make a politician blush. He asked him how he would define fight.
I don’t have the exact quote but I believe Anders’s answer went something like this.

If its trying to kill me or if I’m trying to kill it.

Another one that sticks out is the Chasme(sp) demon that was summoned to carry the chosen group in book 6 of War of the Spider Queen. The demon that was carrying the draegloth, Jeggred commented that he couldn’t wait to land because this one is heavy and his smell is bad.

Some of the others laughed. You know you stink when a demon that looks like a fly says you stink.

Edited by - Rory on 24 Aug 2009 22:35:06
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sfdragon
Great Reader

2285 Posts

Posted - 24 Aug 2009 :  22:37:50  Show Profile Send sfdragon a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Or I'm a bearded gnome- Bruenor Battlehammer

why is being a wizard like being a drow? both are likely to find a dagger in the back from a rival or one looking to further his own goals, fame and power


My FR fan fiction
Magister's GAmbit
http://steelfiredragon.deviantart.com/gallery/33539234
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High

Australia
31772 Posts

Posted - 25 Aug 2009 :  00:52:54  Show Profile Send The Sage a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Thauramarth

Somehow, I am sure that the best quotes from the Realms probably come from Danilo Thann, but I cannot seem to remember any right now...
I would have to agree. It's just another reason for why Danilo has become my favourite Realms character.

As for worthwhile examples, Elfshadow and Elfsong feature some of the best. The early sections of Windwalker also include a few of my favourite Danilo quotes. [I think it was Windwalker]

Candlekeep Forums Moderator

Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com
-- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct

Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)

"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood

Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage
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swifty
Senior Scribe

United Kingdom
517 Posts

Posted - 25 Aug 2009 :  07:20:31  Show Profile  Visit swifty's Homepage Send swifty a Private Message  Reply with Quote
entreri beaten.entreri dead.pasha pook contemplating the impossible after his encounter with drizzt.

go back to sleep america.everything is under control.heres american gladiators.watch this.shuttup. BILL HICKS.
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Lady Fellshot
Senior Scribe

USA
379 Posts

Posted - 25 Aug 2009 :  17:46:45  Show Profile  Visit Lady Fellshot's Homepage Send Lady Fellshot a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Oooh one from The Sword Never Sleeps by Ed Greenwood:

The Royal Magician sighed. "I suppose you'll explode if I say you weren't yet ready to be told such things?"

"Yes," Alusair told him sweetly. "And all over you, too."

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Zanan
Senior Scribe

Germany
942 Posts

Posted - 25 Aug 2009 :  19:44:10  Show Profile  Visit Zanan's Homepage Send Zanan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Pharaun (WotSQ I)
Cease this tirade, take a breath, and think. Then you will realize, enemy of the Dark Elves, that my concern for your well being has always been, at best, limited.

Drasek Riven (Twilight Shadows)
I've got one rule when blades are drawn. My side walks away and the others leave blood in the dirt.

The author of Planes of Chaos, on the Abyss' inhabitants
Those that rub shoulders with the tanar'ri and survive to tell about it are tough as coffin nails.

Zara the half-vampire (Non-FR ... Sacred, the first novel)
In essence, we both want the same - you and me. I don't want to kill you and you don't want to be dead.

Cave quid dicis, quando et cui!

Gæð a wyrd swa hio scel!

In memory of Alura Durshavin.

Visit my "Homepage" to find A Guide to the Drow NPCs of Faerûn, Drow and non-Drow PrC and much more.

Edited by - Zanan on 25 Aug 2009 19:45:03
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bladeinAmn
Learned Scribe

199 Posts

Posted - 25 Aug 2009 :  20:15:54  Show Profile  Visit bladeinAmn's Homepage Send bladeinAmn a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I like the dialogue in RA Salvatore's "Promise of the Witch King", where Jarlaxle is tryna inspire Artemis to dream.
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Rory
Seeker

79 Posts

Posted - 26 Aug 2009 :  01:15:21  Show Profile  Visit Rory's Homepage Send Rory a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Quotes

“As useless as a sword in Halruaa” -From the comic book I don’t remember who

“I left my stomach where we were before I teleported”.-Alusair Obarskyr
Not a great quote but does a good job characterizing magical travel. Her sister commented that Vangerdahast was teleporting her around like a Blink Dog.

“Why don’t you just stick a fire wand down your pants”?-Vangerdahast


“I always blame charm spells.”-Vartan Hai Sylar
When Agrivar was caught half naked with Jasmine in the comic.


“My establishment is as clean as an elven arse”-Every fat store owner in Baldur’s Gate


“By Gonds wondrous brass balls” “Swear by Cyrics black heart” “The prince of lies himself” “You have poured Sembian horse piss into this noble vessel.” “Goblins doing a war dance in my head” (talking about a hangover) “Elvin brandy is the very nectar of the god’s” -Ontrodes the Sage from City of Ravens
He had a million of them.

“Dungeonering is an occupation for those unfortunate souls who have demonstrated that they are too stupid, ill tempered, or uncommonly noble to dawn an honest job.” - Jack Ravenwild, The City of Ravens

“I should incinerate you for your insolence” –The Red Wizard in The City of Ravens


“Polishing armor to a good sheen won’t help it stop an arrow”, -Someone from the novel Crusade

“Elves and other questionable creatures live in that forest.” -A Dwarf from Crusade

“This weapon is not balanced correctly I was guarding a caravan in the stoneland I used this sword and nearly cut my leg off.”-An angry store patron in Crusade

“Only Criminals, fools, hero’s and god’s walk the city at night.” “Never insult a historian you will end up the fool, eternal infamy is a high price to pay for an insult.” -Don’t know. I think they were from Jack Ravenwild

“You have herd my words but have you been listening.”- Yamun Khahan

“Never cast a cloud kill or stinking cloud on a windy day”- Volo Geddarm, in the BG 2 manual

“I can’t picture worshiping a god I would dally with.” –I forgot, they were talking about Sune

“You would be Dragon too” –It was the punch line to a joke about ploymorphing. It was either Omen or Elminster drunk in the comic book.

“Perfumed court wench.”- Vangerdahast’s snobbery

“An honest man keep one in the stirrup”.-Koja of Khazari

“I understand battle with sword and shield not with rose petals and cobweb.”- Don’t remember

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Dalmar Amad
Seeker

Germany
56 Posts

Posted - 26 Aug 2009 :  02:25:08  Show Profile  Visit Dalmar Amad's Homepage Send Dalmar Amad a Private Message  Reply with Quote
One of my favorites:

Malik to Fzoul, Crucible p.323
"And I will let you lick clean the soles of True Believers in the time beyond the Year of Carnage!"

I must admit that I really love the whole conversation between these two
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Auzoros
Seeker

Australia
97 Posts

Posted - 26 Aug 2009 :  08:42:46  Show Profile Send Auzoros a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Dalmar Amad

One of my favorites:

Malik to Fzoul, Crucible p.323
"And I will let you lick clean the soles of True Believers in the time beyond the Year of Carnage!"

I must admit that I really love the whole conversation between these two



Agreed. I finished the book last night and I very much enjoyed the interaction between these two. So I'll add this quote from pg 332 which gave me a good chuckle...

Fzoul prodded me with his hook. "You owe me a confession."
(Malik) "I confess that you are a bag of gleet squeezed from the purulent sphincter that is the mouth of Iyachtu Xvim!"
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Quale
Master of Realmslore

1757 Posts

Posted - 26 Aug 2009 :  12:10:02  Show Profile Send Quale a Private Message  Reply with Quote
I can't remember any, I'm pretty sure the quote belongs to Malik or Danilo
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Stout Heart
Learned Scribe

USA
118 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2009 :  07:55:39  Show Profile  Visit Stout Heart's Homepage Send Stout Heart a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Once you tell a halfling a secret, it's a rumor in a breath and a fact by next highsun. - Ompahr Daergech High Priest of Baravar Cloakshadow

Edited by - Stout Heart on 30 Aug 2009 16:49:29
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Kilvan
Senior Scribe

Canada
894 Posts

Posted - 30 Aug 2009 :  14:51:49  Show Profile Send Kilvan a Private Message  Reply with Quote
If the folks of Cormyr knew what I was doing most of the time, they'd lock me up as a madman. If they knew why I was doing it, they'd flee as fast as they could. -- Vangerdahast in Elminster's daughter, I think

Edited by - Kilvan on 30 Aug 2009 14:52:20
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader

USA
3750 Posts

Posted - 31 Dec 2010 :  08:05:57  Show Profile Send Alystra Illianniis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Drizzt and Bruenor talking about Pwent and the Gutbusters running off to fight a bunch of orcs in the Moonwood(I think it was) in one of the books:

Bruenor: "Ain't ye going to go join them?"
Drizzt: "No. Too dangerous."

That convo killed me!!!

The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.

"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491

"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs

Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469

My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188

Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u
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Dennis
Great Reader

9933 Posts

Posted - 18 Jan 2011 :  15:57:57  Show Profile Send Dennis a Private Message  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Arion Elenim

Drasek Riven to Rivalen Tanthul: "And just who are YOU again?"



I like that, too.

Here are two more:

"There is wisdom in looking back at every regret, every misstep, and realizing the value of tragedy." -Keffrass, The Shield of Weeping Ghosts by James P. Davis

“Only regret what is left undone, what is left undsaid. Regretting what has happened that cannot be changed is wasted energy.” -Blackstaff Tower by Steven Schend

Every beginning has an end.
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althen artren
Senior Scribe

USA
780 Posts

Posted - 19 Jan 2011 :  00:23:45  Show Profile Send althen artren a Private Message  Reply with Quote
Usually, anything sentence that contains the word "Ahem" in the middle of the sentence
is pretty comical around these boards.
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