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Arion Elenim
Senior Scribe
  
933 Posts |
Posted - 18 Aug 2008 : 18:00:30
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Hail fellows!
Alaundo has been good enough to reward my return from a long absence here at the 'Keep by publishing my short story Debts Repaid in the campaign logs section.
It deals with a member of the Moonstars and the political machinations behind a mercantile lord of Baldur's Gate and the kangaroo court he controls.
In truth, Debts Repaid is about those who use the law to hide behind their true intentions. It struck a chord with a few of those who've read it, and was very theraputic for me to write in this time of social and political upheaval. Plus, it's got some humor. :D
I hope you'll take a moment to look it over. If nothing else, there's a bard and a paladin and a climactic battle and lots of magic and craziness!
Oh, and I'd LOVE some comments and suggestions. Thanks!
Thanks! Heath "Arion Elenim" Harper
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My latest Realms-based short story, about a bard, a paladin of Lathander and the letter of the law, Debts Repaid. It takes place before the "shattering" and gives the bard Arion a last gasp before he plunges into the present.http://candlekeep.com/campaign/logs/log-debts.htm |
Edited by - Arion Elenim on 21 Aug 2008 18:49:08
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Arion Elenim
Senior Scribe
  
933 Posts |
Posted - 08 Sep 2008 : 19:04:59
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For sake of ease I've posted a link in my signature. But here's another, just to show off that I actually know how to do it: http://candlekeep.com/campaign/logs/log-debts.htmTitle{/URL] |
My latest Realms-based short story, about a bard, a paladin of Lathander and the letter of the law, Debts Repaid. It takes place before the "shattering" and gives the bard Arion a last gasp before he plunges into the present.http://candlekeep.com/campaign/logs/log-debts.htm |
Edited by - Arion Elenim on 08 Sep 2008 19:05:30 |
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Fillow
Master of Realmslore
   
France
1608 Posts |
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Arion Elenim
Senior Scribe
  
933 Posts |
Posted - 08 Sep 2008 : 22:04:15
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The story was finished JUST before 4ed...and it references the civil war in Sembia in the Twilight War series, so just before the death of half of the gods in existence I would suppose, considering one of the characters follows Lathander.
So, I think 1375 DR.
And thanks for the sig tip! Hope you enjoy the story! |
My latest Realms-based short story, about a bard, a paladin of Lathander and the letter of the law, Debts Repaid. It takes place before the "shattering" and gives the bard Arion a last gasp before he plunges into the present.http://candlekeep.com/campaign/logs/log-debts.htm |
Edited by - Arion Elenim on 08 Sep 2008 22:35:36 |
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Fillow
Master of Realmslore
   
France
1608 Posts |
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riot the outsider
Learned Scribe
 
USA
121 Posts |
Posted - 09 Sep 2008 : 09:07:02
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Very good,loved it.I love your writting style thats how I like my stories.( Fast paced but not to fast and agressive at the right times with just enough detail)I like all the names of the characters exspecially Arion's daughters name very lovely. This story keeped its grip on me from begining to end. Action sences great I could see the images of the battle sences clearly in my head. Very good all around, plot and everything thank you for writting this story.I would buy your novels any day if you were an author.I hope you post more of your stories here in the future. P.s. I would very much like it if you would read my two short stories that I have posted and tell me what you think. Thanks in advance. But all I can say is WoW! great job and keep writting.You defiently made a fan out me. |
Those who fear the darkness have never seen what the light can do. http://s13.gladiatus.com/game/c.php?uid=67846
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Edited by - riot the outsider on 09 Sep 2008 09:20:16 |
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Arion Elenim
Senior Scribe
  
933 Posts |
Posted - 09 Sep 2008 : 20:13:27
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Thanks so much for reading, riot. I appreciate the feedback and will definitely take a look at your work as well. |
My latest Realms-based short story, about a bard, a paladin of Lathander and the letter of the law, Debts Repaid. It takes place before the "shattering" and gives the bard Arion a last gasp before he plunges into the present.http://candlekeep.com/campaign/logs/log-debts.htm |
Edited by - Arion Elenim on 12 Sep 2008 03:33:11 |
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Lady Fellshot
Senior Scribe
  
USA
379 Posts |
Posted - 10 Sep 2008 : 06:56:05
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I liked the twist. I did spot a few typos, but I'm probably one of the few people nitpicky enough to notice :P
The two main characters were excellently done too. Both of them were very sympathetic and the villain was pretty interesting too. I thought it was well done :) |
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BARDOBARBAROS
Senior Scribe
  
Greece
581 Posts |
Posted - 10 Sep 2008 : 07:47:41
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Nice story... Bravo!!!! |
BARDOBARBAROS DOES NOT KILL. HE DECAPITATES!!!
"The city changes, but the fools within it remain always the same" (Edwin Odesseiron- Baldur's gate 2) |
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GRYPHON
Senior Scribe
  
USA
527 Posts |
Posted - 11 Sep 2008 : 14:48:20
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Good story... |
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Arion Elenim
Senior Scribe
  
933 Posts |
Posted - 12 Sep 2008 : 03:32:11
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quote: Originally posted by Lady Fellshot
I liked the twist. I did spot a few typos, but I'm probably one of the few people nitpicky enough to notice :P
The two main characters were excellently done too. Both of them were very sympathetic and the villain was pretty interesting too. I thought it was well done :)
I'm very pleased you found them sympathetic, particularly Arion. I was (and usually am) pretty worried about him...he's a bard. And therefore, kind of a jerk. 
Oh, and if you see a typo, let me know puh-lease! I'm also interested in ANY other improvements you folk may think of.
quote: Originally posted by BARDOBARBAROS
Nice story... Bravo!!!!
quote: Originally posted by GRYPHON
Good story...
Thanks for the read, guys! I really value the opinions of my fellow FR addicts. |
My latest Realms-based short story, about a bard, a paladin of Lathander and the letter of the law, Debts Repaid. It takes place before the "shattering" and gives the bard Arion a last gasp before he plunges into the present.http://candlekeep.com/campaign/logs/log-debts.htm |
Edited by - Arion Elenim on 12 Sep 2008 03:39:10 |
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Grumpyoldmage
Acolyte
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - 22 May 2009 : 06:34:40
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Wow! Great story. I think my favorite part of the entire thing was the representation of the magical sword and her description. Also, I loved the realism of your dialog. Excellent work! |
Quote of Karsus - "The Elves started this when they tried to steal the Nether Scrolls. They are a culture of the past, who's idea's are as antiquated as their magic." |
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Arion Elenim
Senior Scribe
  
933 Posts |
Posted - 24 May 2009 : 17:51:57
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Thanks a bunch, Grumpyoldmage. Writing a physical personality for a holy sword and making her kinda sexy was a lot of fun. :D
I guess the lil resurrection of this thread is as good a place as any for me to announce that I'm currently writing a novel-length 'sequel' to Debts Repaid, taking place at the end of the Spellplague.
We'll see how it goes and if anyone's interested in reading! |
My latest Realms-based short story, about a bard, a paladin of Lathander and the letter of the law, Debts Repaid. It takes place before the "shattering" and gives the bard Arion a last gasp before he plunges into the present.http://candlekeep.com/campaign/logs/log-debts.htm |
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Grumpyoldmage
Acolyte
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - 24 May 2009 : 20:01:01
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Thats great news! Can't wait for a first crack at reading it when your done! |
Quote of Karsus - "The Elves started this when they tried to steal the Nether Scrolls. They are a culture of the past, who's idea's are as antiquated as their magic." |
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