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Charles Phipps
Master of Realmslore
1425 Posts |
 Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 01:45:11
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I'm thinking about incorporating a bit of a campaign that's based around the newest version of the classic series of Bard's Tale. Part of the fun is I want to play a humor game in the Forgotten Realms since so many of those tropes are classics around my table now.
So any idea of things in the Realms just waiting to be made fun of?
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My Blog: http://unitedfederationofcharles.blogspot.com/
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Steven Schend
Forgotten Realms Designer & Author
USA
1715 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 02:43:15
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Leisure Suit Volo in the Land of the Loung Lizards--a new interpretation of exploring the Serpent Kingdoms.  |
For current projects and general natter, see www.steveneschend.com
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31772 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 02:50:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Steven Schend
Leisure Suit Volo in the Land of the Loung Lizards--a new interpretation of exploring the Serpent Kingdoms.
I love it!
I'm just hoping Volo has better luck with members of the opposite sex. 
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Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
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Charles Phipps
Master of Realmslore
1425 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 03:15:24
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I imagine it's about equal for Volo.
Of course, Forgotten Realms women seem to be a bit less uptight than much of the real world.
I'm inclined to make a number of rules for my players to acknowledge.
Rule 1: Adventurers are thief, pirates, and lechs. So why not acknowledge it? ;-)
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My Blog: http://unitedfederationofcharles.blogspot.com/
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The Red Walker
Great Reader
USA
3567 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 03:51:52
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quote:
Originally posted by Charles Phipps
I'm thinking about incorporating a bit of a campaign that's based around the newest version of the classic series of Bard's Tale. Part of the fun is I want to play a humor game in the Forgotten Realms since so many of those tropes are classics around my table now.
So any idea of things in the Realms just waiting to be made fun of?
How about a twist on Porky's, set in Danilo's new Barding college. |
A little nonsense now and then, relished by the wisest men - Willy Wonka
"We need men who can dream of things that never were." -
John F. Kennedy, speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963
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Kiaransalyn
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
762 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 06:48:32
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quote:
Originally posted by Charles Phipps
So any idea of things in the Realms just waiting to be made fun of?
The Portly Portal - The PC's discover a portal that will take you anywhere you want in the Realms. However, it also gives you a 100% increase in weight and an insatiable desire for pies. |
Death is Life
Love is Hate
Revenge is Forgiveness
Ken: You from the States?
Jimmy: Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ken: I'll try not to... Just try not to say anything too loud or crass. |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 11:22:54
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| Standard procedure in our campaign if anyone can't make a gaming session, is to edit their character sheet in amusing ways, i.e. sleazy puns on their name/race/class or simply adding items to their inventory :) |
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Torkael
Acolyte
39 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 16:23:27
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These came into mind when I read this thread. Don't know if it counts...
Moon elves that actually moon their enemies.
Bigby's groping/spanking hand.
Intelligent weapons that don't see themselves as weapons (A club that thinks it's a drumstick from a giant bird and wishes to find the rest of its 'body', a bow that believes itself to be a harp with only one lousy string...)
Maybe make opposites of things already existing in the Realms? Like the Seven Brothers. Seven, dwarven brothers, all of them champions of Auril. *Snickers at the lame joke* |
"No, I will not create a song dedicated to dancing dwarves. Especially dwarves worshipping Eilistraee." - Tenasa the bard |
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Mace Hammerhand
Great Reader
Germany
2296 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 16:31:28
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I remember various gaming evenings we spent basically intoxicated, however, the GM ruled that the way we behaved was also the way our characters behaved.
We all had a blast, especially when we showed some aliens the finger and explained that it was our traditional greeting...
Problem is, humor cannot be planned...it has to happen. |
Mace's not so gentle gamer's journal My rants were harmless compared to this, beware! |
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Chosen of Moradin
Master of Realmslore
Brazil
1120 Posts |
Posted - 22 Aug 2006 : 16:38:08
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Exactly!
But some weird things can happen when you go to play D&D after a good session of the 3 Stooges, or Monty Python and the Holy Grail. |
Dwarf, DM, husband, and proud of this! :P
twitter: @yuripeixoto
Facebook: yuri.peixoto |
Edited by - Chosen of Moradin on 22 Aug 2006 16:39:03 |
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Charles Phipps
Master of Realmslore
1425 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2006 : 00:04:25
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Oddly, my party bard's player sent me this and thought I should share it....
He's very good at these "mock" lists even though it doesn't give much benefit to how to run a game.
Important things to know about a humorous Realms by Bard Yule B. Sorry
1. Fzoul and Manshoon are completely unaware everyone in the Zhents thinks they're lovers so don't tell them.
2. Icewind Dale is not to be referred as "The Great Latrine of the North"
3. Its important not to refer to Elves as "oversexed hippie vegetarians."
4. Most men CAN tell the difference between a male and female elf even during sex.
5. Gold Elves and Dwarves are not accepted as their weight in currency of the same name.
6. It is not acceptable to walk like an Egyptian in Mulhorand....everywhere.
7. When talking to Bane, it is not polite to cough "Banefog" every five seconds.
8. You are not allowed to name the Spelljammer the Enterprise.
9. It is wrong to have a running competition on whom bags all Seven Sisters.
10. It is worse to refer to it as "Gotta Catch Em all."
11. Drizzt Do'Urden is not a dice-o-matic and it is wrong to toss vegetables at him to use him as such.
12. Silverymoon is not to be referred to as "A nice place to pillage."
13. It is wrong to suggest to Khelban he should make a statue of Larael in the harbor with a crown, torch, and tablet.
14. Xvim's religion is not to be referred to as "Like Bane's except it sucked."
15. Shar's religion is not the religion of whiny emos and goth chicks.
16. Elminster does not say "The Day is Mine Trebek" every time he fights Manshoon.
17. The Red Wizards of Thay's latest plot for world domination cannot be summarized as "magical Walmart economics."
18. The proper response to Princess Tanalasta's whining is not a pimp slap.
19. Azoun is not your daddy....at least, probably not.
20. Mystra is not to be referred to as Lina Inverse's b**** older sister.
21. You are not allowed to drill for oil in Unther.
22. The Moonshae's religion is not to be referred to as "Wicca"
23. Ssass Tam is not to be referred to as "Skeletor"
24. All Scyllua Darkhope needs is not a good ****.
25. No, you can't have a moonblade.
26. No, REALLY.
27. You could be an ELF if you wanted one.
28. No, cutting off an elf's hand to use as a glove will NOT work.
29. No, you can't fling around an elf wielding the moonblade to use it!
30. You're a CN dwarf barbarian!
31. Rashemi are not wiccans either.
32. Chult was not created by harvesting the DNA of blood from mosquitos trapped in amber.
33. Gond is not the deity of Blow **** up.
34. It is wrong to ask Waukeen for sex as a reward in For Duty or Deity
35. She'd charge extra.
36. Can SOMEONE take a goddess other than Sharess?
37. Menzoberrazan is NOT the world's deadliest dungeon.
38. No, you do not get extra points if you 'clear it out.'
39. Talos is not your co-pilot.
40. Portals cannot be used to bring Kender into Forgotten Realms.
41. Nor can alchemy.
42. Or the Plane of Shadows.
43. The gods will instantly strike them dead.
44. It is wrong to go "Be Verrrry Quiet, were Hunting Drizzt."
45. It is wrong to refer to Holy Avengers as the "Master Sword."
46. Forgotten Realms is not filled with Spikey haired do-gooders.
47. Throwing water on the Simbul will not cause her to melt.
48. Auril is not afraid of Nobanion.
49. Or a prophecy about the Daughters of Eve and Sons of Adam.
50. She is not the White Queen.
51. The typical alignment in Toril is not "Lusty Good."
52. The Knights of Myth Drannor are not where your PCs go when they die.
53. Elminster is not the inspiration for every old guy whom gives cryptic advice.
54. Nor does he arranged horrible tragedies just so he can give said cryptic advice.
55. It is wrong to bet on whom would win in a cat fight, Eowyn or Allusair.
56. Tanalasta did not spend all of her years growing up getting kidnapped by evil wizards or dragons...
57. Just most of them.
58. Westgate is not worse than Lower East End New Jersey.
59. They're about equal.
60. Your Bhaalspawn is not allowed to kill every other Bhaalspawn he meets with a decapitation shot...
61. Nor do you say "There can be only One" before each occasion.
62. Nor can your Bhaalspawn PC be from the Highlands of the Moonshaes.
63. Chestnea is not Libya and I don't know why you keep trying to indicate it is.
64. Al-Quadim is an ironically named setting now but you can skip the obvious jokes.
65. It is wrong to sell infected blankets to Maztica.
66. Tyr does not keep a collection of Hot Valkyries to his faithful.
67. Ilmater's faithful are not into BS&M.
68. Torm is not to be referred to as "Dudley Do right."
69. You are not Arilyn Moonblade's father.
70. No it's NOT in dispute.
71. Neither is Danillo's parentage.
72. Yes, I'm aware both of their mothers got around.
73. Elaith Craulnobler was never your kid sidekick....
74. You did not patrol Waterdeep's wharfs as the Dark Knight.
75. Helm's alignment is not "Intolerant Jerk Good"
76. Deneir is not to be referred to as the "Geek Religion."
77. The Underdark does not need to be flooded with Poison Gas as Pest Control.
78. Calisham is not the place where Disney's Aladdin was filmed.
79. Elminster is not your father...at least most likely.
80. Karsus did not lose control of his spell because a kender appeared.
81. Gruumush will not be fooled by tricks from Odysseus' playbook even if he is a cyclops.
82. You did not cause the Time of Troubles.
83. A time of troubles game is not an excuse to go god-hunting.
84. Cyric is not the god of Chaotic Stupid.
85. The Crown of Horns is not to be recovered to put on your mantle.
86. Stop asking if Sylune's ghost can still have sex!
87. Don't ask me why there's so many pirates when there's only 3 major ports.
88. Amn is not to be called "The Land of Generic Fantasy"
89. Ditto Tethyr.
90. Fzoul does not have a 'pornstache'
91. The Harpers are not to be referred to as SHIELD
92. They're not that cool.
93. Do not offer Finder to knock off Oghma.
94. He'll take you up on that offer .
95. yes, Alias has been asked the chainmail bikini question before...
96. Song Dragons are not an excuse for hot man-on-dragon action.
97. ....despite all appearances.
98. Agarlarond is not the place to be known as "Where the Elves couldn't get enough of human sex."
99. You are not a Manshoon clone.
100. the solution to the Manshoon clone is not to clone a dozen Spidermen.
101. Shandril Sheshair is not Lina Inverse either.
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My Blog: http://unitedfederationofcharles.blogspot.com/
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31772 Posts |
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Reefy
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
892 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2006 : 01:04:10
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quote:
Originally posted by Charles Phipps
16. Elminster does not say "The Day is Mine Trebek" every time he fights Manshoon.
I enjoyed them all but that one in particular got me. |
Life is either daring adventure or nothing. |
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Charles Phipps
Master of Realmslore
1425 Posts |
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Kiaransalyn
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
762 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2006 : 08:25:43
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| I once DM-ed a game where the PC's had to keep a beholder entertained. The PC's were all drow and the beholder was visiting Menzoberranzan to decide if it was worthy enough. As DM, I played the beholder and the PC's plot to get it drunk and drugged worked wonderfully. What they didn't expect was the Beholder to begin channeling the voice of Tom Jones. |
Death is Life
Love is Hate
Revenge is Forgiveness
Ken: You from the States?
Jimmy: Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ken: I'll try not to... Just try not to say anything too loud or crass. |
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Jorkens
Great Reader
Norway
2950 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2006 : 08:35:03
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quote:
Originally posted by Charles Phipps
Ssass Tam is not to be referred to as "Skeletor"
This is a lie and you now it; don't try to delude people into accepting false lore you heathen!
That he is not to be referred to as Skully is an entirely different case. |
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Mace Hammerhand
Great Reader
Germany
2296 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2006 : 09:09:07
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| Several typos aside (yes, I DO atomize hairs!), cool list...made my day, especially the image I got of Drizzt in a sushi restaurant |
Mace's not so gentle gamer's journal My rants were harmless compared to this, beware! |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2006 : 11:18:14
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That was fantastic!  Oh but one thing, quote:
Fzoul does not have a 'pornstache'
Yeah he does  |
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Kiaransalyn
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
762 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2006 : 12:01:23
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quote:
Originally posted by Kaladorm
That was fantastic! Oh but one thing, quote:
Fzoul does not have a 'pornstache'
Yeah he does
Which explains comment 24 further.  |
Death is Life
Love is Hate
Revenge is Forgiveness
Ken: You from the States?
Jimmy: Yeah. But don't hold it against me.
Ken: I'll try not to... Just try not to say anything too loud or crass. |
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Chosen of Moradin
Master of Realmslore
Brazil
1120 Posts |
Posted - 23 Aug 2006 : 13:05:27
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quote:
Originally posted by Charles Phipps
48. Auril is not afraid of Nobanion.
49. Or a prophecy about the Daughters of Eve and Sons of Adam.
50. She is not the White Queen.
That three make my day, here. 
Excellent list! |
Dwarf, DM, husband, and proud of this! :P
twitter: @yuripeixoto
Facebook: yuri.peixoto |
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Reefy
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
892 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2006 : 01:20:55
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quote:
Originally posted by Kiaransalyn
quote:
Originally posted by Kaladorm
That was fantastic! Oh but one thing, quote:
Fzoul does not have a 'pornstache'
Yeah he does
Which explains comment 24 further.
*polite cough* |
Life is either daring adventure or nothing. |
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The Red Walker
Great Reader
USA
3567 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2006 : 01:37:53
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| We would stop asking # 86 if only someone would answer. |
A little nonsense now and then, relished by the wisest men - Willy Wonka
"We need men who can dream of things that never were." -
John F. Kennedy, speech in Dublin, Ireland, June 28, 1963
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Calrond
Learned Scribe
USA
118 Posts |
Posted - 24 Aug 2006 : 23:28:35
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quote:
Originally posted by The Red Walker
We would stop asking # 86 if only someone would answer.
She can when she's in her corporeal body. |
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Charles Phipps
Master of Realmslore
1425 Posts |
Posted - 25 Aug 2006 : 02:33:40
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101. Summon Succubus is not your favorite spell.
102. Clan Battlehammer's home is not to be referred to as the "lonely mountain."
103. Nor is Streams of Silver an entire rip off of the Hobbit.
104. It is wrong to release a giant ape to climb the highest tower in Waterdeep.
105. Fzoul did found the Black Network via pyramid scheme.
106. Change Self to Orlando Bloom is not permitted.
107. Arcane Archer is not to be referred to as the "Leogolas" class.
108. Dwarf tossing is not the national sport of Mithral Hall.
109. Or Evermeet.
110. Gnomes are not to be referred to as "like Dwarves except they suck."
111. I am forbidden from wearing T-shirts that say "Elminster could kick this settings ass by himself."
112. A twin scimitar drow is not so common as to make an effective disguise anywhere.
113. My wang is not +5
114. nor does it have the power of Striking.
115. or Dancing.
116. My wang is not magical.
117. It is wrong to tell the party that it is.
118. You as a bard are forbidden from using "influence reactions" to get women.
119. You cannot reply "What GOOD IS IT THEN!?"
120. Bard is not Celtic for Ninja.
121. Alustriel did not inspire the word "Lust."
122. It is wrong to try to 'comfort' Khelben's widow in her grief.
123. It is wrong to spread the rumor the followers of Helm intend to invade Al Quadim for oil.
124. Velsharoon is not to be referred to as "The God they didn't have the balls to make Ssass Tam."
125. Bane's symbol is not a Flaming Eye.
126. Pereghost is not to be compared unfavorably to Lord Soth.
127. I am not a Cleric of BlowShavitup
128. If I did, I couldn't grant spells.
129. I am not allowed to proclaim myself a deity.
130. Especially if it's just to tick the gods off.
131. Fireball is not a solution to everything.
132. A Helm of Opposite Alignment should not be kept to shove on good people that annoy you so that you can kill them without guilt.
133. In a duel of swords or pistols, you do not get to answer "I'll take the pistols. You take the swords."
134. Allusair is not to be referred to as "The warhorse everyone's ridden."
135. Artemis Entrie is not going to appreciate having his sword Soveriegn glued to his hands.
136. I do not have the Prestige class of "World's Greatest Lover"
137. Danillo Thann's Bard College is not going to be like Van Wilder or any other college movie.
138. It'll be much, much, much wilder.
139. Bard is not Tehyrian for BADASS.
140. The Shades will only fall for "OH MY GODS! THE ISLAND IS FALLING!" twice at best.
141. Everveska is not suing FEMA for improper disaster relief administration.
142. Frodo did not take his boat to Evermeet at the end of the Lord of Rings.
143. It is wrong to spread the rumors about Fzoul only getting involved with Bane because of the sex rites.
144. ....even if its true.
145. Still, you've got to wonder about a guy whom goes to BANE for sex rites.
146. A black coat, shades, and black pants are not the standard D&D fighter wear.
147. Moon Elves are not to be described as "oversexed vegetarian wussies"
148. Gold Elves are not to be referred as the "Mein Alf" brigade.
149. "I was drunk" is not an excuse for anything.
150. It is wrong to ask Westgate Manshoon if he's Ventrue or Tremere.
151. I will not plead mind control whenever I do something despicable.
152. "Go back to Greyhawk you pointy earred charcoal colored sow" is not a proper response to Lolth.
153. The Gold Elf philosophy is not "Everything but elvish stuff sucks"
154. Mask is not Vharaun and a dozen other gods.
155. Mirt the Moneylender tipping is not a "must do" everytime you go to Waterdeep.
156. You cannot offer Mirt a pound of flesh as collateral then get Portia as your lawyer.
157. It is wrong to insist Mirt convert to Tormism after the trial.
158. After the Time of Troubles adventure it is not polite to tell Ao said "So they get godhood and we get crap? I KNEW YOU WERE THE DM!"
159. Bloodstone is not the setting for A Song of Fire and Ice
160. Epic Level Commoner does not exist.
161. "The Prophecies of Alaundo said we'd do it", is not to be your excuse for everything.
162. Lamauril is not taking the Elves up to the North Pole to make Toys for an Evil Druid taskmaster.
163. Elistraea is not to be referred to as the "Goddess for Guys whom like making Drow Fan Art and Porn."
164. Talona is not a goddess you'd tap if she'd wear a veil.
165. All that's needed to wake up the Sleeping Princess of Evermeet is NOT the Triforce of Courage.
166. A Moonblade is not a Master Sword.
167. The three goddess of Hyrule are NOT Corellon's conorts.
168. GET OFF THE ZELDA KICK.
169. Elminster's daughter is not a common story in the Realms.
170. Mirt cannot be mugged by leaving a trail of chicken legs.
171. He knows the Hundred Hand Slap and is very dangerous.
172. Ilmater doesn't need a good plastic surgeon.
173. Elminster slapping you for being whiny is perfectly justified when you complain.
174. The Great Rift does not appreciate you tossing garbage down it.
175. The Drow religion doesn't need 'a good man to straight it out.'
176. The Kitchen is not where Drow matrons belong.
177. Sembia is not the land of "Pasta snorting poncy fops."
178. Monty Python jokes are inappropriate for the Realms.
179. Princess Bride references are fine.
180. ...Except the damn Father line!
181. The Wizard's Three is not canon for the Realms.
182. If it was, you couldn't use it to invade our world with dragons.
183. Henchmen are not 'trap detectors.'
184. Red Wizards will not fall for "SIMBUL ATTACK" being shouted to cause them to dive for cover more than twice.
185. Larloch doesn't want to hear about Gyco.
186. It is wrong to go to Shadowdale just to bug Elminster.
187. The Knights of Myth Drannor aren't elminster's henchmen.
188. Moonblades are not to be tossed in favor of Holy Avengers even if you are an elf paladin.
189. Moonblades are not to be used as a monster trap by leaving it with an expensive price tag and gems encrusted to get bad guys to pick it up and die.
190. It is wrong to offer King Obould to help sack Silvermoon because you hate hippies.
191. That's how Myth Drannor fell.
192. Not all Gold Elves are iredeemable bast***s
193. Just most of them.
195. It is wrong to rat out Velsharoon to Mysta.
196. Twice.
197. Killing Kelemvor to replace him with Myrkul because he's cooler is not a good act.
198. Ditto Cyric and Bhaal.
199. Bhaalspawn do not give off lightning when decapitated.
200. Do not remind King Tristan that his evil daughter was hot.
201. Remember, the Queen of the Moonshaes is the one Queen whom DOESN'T have sex with anything that moves. |
My Blog: http://unitedfederationofcharles.blogspot.com/
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Humor Games in Forgotten Realms
