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jebeddo
Seeker
Canada
69 Posts |
 Posted - 26 Nov 2005 : 06:54:34
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I'm DMing a new group of players, who had the bright idea to purchase livestock for food and...trap detection. Being first level, and the chickens being 2sp each, the sun elf wizard purchased fifty chickens from various markets in Waterdeep. For the purposes of taming the chickens, the wizard placed a few ranks into Animal Handling. Since the wizard has a strength score of 8, he instead tied a string around his wrist and all the chickens. Before long, the party had a policy of making chickens walking before them in dungeons and hurling chickens at enemies to cover for their escapes. Soon they developed the habit of bashing chickens against locked doors and "Summon Chicken" spells, not to mention all the chicken puns ("We shall punish you by means most fowl!" and "You call our magicks paltry? I'll show you poultry!")... |
"Only half-orcs rush in where devas fear to tread." |
Edited by - jebeddo on 26 Nov 2005 06:56:05 |
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Neriandal Freit
Senior Scribe
USA
396 Posts |
Posted - 26 Nov 2005 : 20:18:23
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| LOL. Hey, you must admit, it is an original and (given it's silly nature) unique ;) |
"Eating people is wrong...unless it's on the first date." - Ed Greenwood, GenCon Indy 2006 |
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Bluenose
Learned Scribe
United Kingdom
134 Posts |
Posted - 30 Nov 2005 : 16:19:01
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Our party consisted of a paladin, an elven rogue, a half-elf bard, my human wizard, and a human cleric. The week before we had sneaked into a warehouse in a coastal city to rescue a group of people who'd been seized by slavers. The slavers trick was that the warehouse was at the end of a jetty, and if any law enforcement types came towards it they would drop the floor away and let all the slaves fall into the sea, where sharks tended to gather. We got in through the back of the warehouse using potions of water breathing, which let us surprise the slavers.
In the next session we were on a ship, trying to catch the people who smuggled the slaves away. When we ran across a known pirate vessel our ship went in pursuit. The rogue was shooting arrows at the pirate ship, my wizard was casting spells at it, the bard was using his song to encourage the crew, and the cleric was using healing spells. That left a rather bored paladin, who believed that missile weapons were wrong, standing around in full plate armour with nothing to do. Suddenly, the player had an idea. He asked my wizard to cast Haste on him, which I did, and then announced to the DM that he was drinking one of the remaining Potions of Water Breathing. And then he jumped over the side. 
"I'll run along the sea bed until I catch up with the pirate ship, then I'll climb up the rudder and surprise them."
The water was 30 feet deep. The ship had a 12 foot draught. The paladin was about 6 feet tall. Add it up and drown one paladin.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time." Which probably is a common theme in a lot of character deaths. 
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These, in the day when heaven was falling,
The hour when earth's foundations fled,
Followed their mercenary calling
And took their wages and are dead.
Their shoulders held the sky suspended;
They stood, and earth's foundations stay;
What God abandoned, these defended,
And saved the sum of things for pay. |
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Barack
Acolyte
Austria
1 Posts |
Posted - 04 Dec 2005 : 16:10:47
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quote:
Originally posted by Iliphar1
have one funny story (for DM)
It all started with the PCs travelling in an Hills Giant infested area - at night. Bevore they left a fort the party's mage got himself completely drunken.
Walking I told the party that they can hardly see anything and made them stumble at rocks, miss the trail and things like that. They still would continue but to make the path easier they lighted laterns...
... strangely enough, the hills giants had seen them and prepared an ambush. The party virtually stood no chance against those giants throwing rocks from the dark (still not extingushing the laterns...), but the mage (with his spell failure chance of 40% due to his condition) had come up with the idea, that he could conjure a rope trick so save the party. The druid in the party shapechanged into a bird and fled. (note: he also posessed a bag of holding!) The party managed to flee into the rope trick to heal themselves, when the mage contacted the druid to fly into the rope trick to contribute some healing spells.
He did so... When I handed over to the druid the "Players Options High level campaig explaining the effects of one extradimensional into another he got paler and paler with reading it...
In the end the party was sucked trough an anomality in reality into the Astral Plane, where the whole party lost all (!) their items - except the druid (50% chance to have all your possessions scatterd in the Astral)
My dwarf lost 700,000 GP worth of king-given plate armour in that fiasco.
It's nothing to what happened to us in Eberron though. The druid from our FR campaign DM's that, and I think he might have been fed up with me... I had nearly no control of my character during this session and could only watch and laugh as he described it.
Situation:
Our party consists of one Halfling Thief (our DM in FR, see quote), one Half-Elven Ranger (me), an elven Priestess (Undying Chord I think it's called), a really bitchy female noble Psionicist, a Favored Soul of... forgotten the name, deity of sacrifice and honour and finally a Gnome Tinker. All around level 6.
Now, a few days back we had found ourselves mysteriously teleported into the halls of the Undying Chord, and had been taken to see the Undying themselves, so the Priestess and I (I asked them whether I could find peace as a half-elf, and they said something like I would be judged at my death) were rather subdued. Adding to that, both of us were observing our Holy Days, meaning that we should show no strong emotion (positive ones anyway), drink no alcohol, fast... etc.
We had come from the Mournlands, on a quest, and were beginning to notice increased undead activity (armies of zombies and ghouls using the occasional zombie-T-Rex) when we come back into the goblin lands. We had some sort of mission to find out more about the undead in the area including their leaders and so on. We come across a goblin town being attacked by close to a thousand undead including one T-Rex and numerous wizards. We managed to take out a couple of catapults, as we had come behind the Undead, and managed to live through the battle before goblin reinforcements carried the day.
We enter the town. I still wasn't used to civilised goblins (play too much FR I guess :)) so I embarressed myself at the gate... anyway, we get to the tavern. The goblins are preparing a celebratory feast. Our halfling thief owns a Bar in Sharn, and keeps collecting Firkins and small Barrels of spirits at every inn we stop at. We went to the Bar and were asked what we wanted to drink. My order of milk was looked at as an insult, so I gave in to peer pressure and was given a rather large glass of spirits. Sipping at it slowly, I listen as the Halfling orders a barrel of Spirits to take with him. Misunderstanding, or deliberately setting us up for mischief (I think the latter :D), the hobgoblin Bardame shouts out to the others "THEY WANT THE BARREL, ROLL IT OUT!". So out we go, outside the pub, where a barrel has been propped up, leaving room for a person lying underneath it. Underneath we go, one at a time, guests of the goblins. Every one (except the pcionicist and the priestess) had to lie down, and we rolled const checks to see how long each of us could stand it. I lasted 6 minutes (!!).
Me and the gnome had drunk enough to prompt the GM to take away character control, plus the female hobgoblins and goblins were starting to look better... the gnome ended up in an alley with a fairly charismatic female goblin whereas my character was carried off to bed by the Hobgoblin princess (she had something like charisma 18+  )...
Meanwhile, the thief is sneaking around in town... he breaks into one house and tries to drug a dog by pouring spirits on it's nose... I give that one a 10/10 for stupidity.  Fortunately the GM let him retract that before the consequences took place.
Ah yes, the Hobgoblin Bardame seems to have taken a shine to our also-very-wasted Favoured Soul... everyone save the women in the party find love that night (or in the case of the favoured soul, a cage, a whip and a lusty hobgoblin ).
It got worse in the morning. My character wakes up in the palace and is informed that he is marrying the Hobgoblin princess in half an hour (there was a way out, but a servant would have been killed in my stead, and my character is chaotic good...), the PC's all get invitations (priestess was very very dissapointed in me )... and we managed to get the favoured soul back after a lengthy bartering session with the Bardame.
After the Marriage (my character also finds out that he is merely the fourth husband of said princess... apparently Hobgoblins believe in polygamy :)) we leave the city and try to forget about it. How many Half-Elven Hobgoblin princes do you know of? I also have to wear their uniform.
That was the funniest night of roleplaying I have ever witnessed. |
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scererar
Master of Realmslore
USA
1618 Posts |
Posted - 06 Dec 2005 : 06:15:53
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| I was running a Gnome Character rogue/ ill. got into a fight with a band of golbins. The 1/2 orc barbarian in our group beheaded a goblin, and my trying to be funny, cast invisibility on myself, picked up the head and went running into the melee yelling bugga bugga bugga. The DM thought it was funny, but counted it as attacking the goblins, resulting on the spell to end and the quick end to my character |
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Fletcher
Learned Scribe
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 06 Dec 2005 : 16:12:02
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quote:
Originally posted by scererar
I was running a Gnome Character rogue/ ill. got into a fight with a band of golbins. The 1/2 orc barbarian in our group beheaded a goblin, and my trying to be funny, cast invisibility on myself, picked up the head and went running into the melee yelling bugga bugga bugga. The DM thought it was funny, but counted it as attacking the goblins, resulting on the spell to end and the quick end to my character
I think you got the short end of the stick in that encounter. Unless you were hitting the goblins I don't see why you should have lost your invisibility. Personally I give you serious props for a plan to intimidate and demoralize your enemy.
Your gnome should be alive and well, with a great story to tell.
Just my opinion. |
Run faster! The Kobolds are catching up! |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36804 Posts |
Posted - 06 Dec 2005 : 17:18:27
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quote:
Originally posted by Fletcher
quote:
Originally posted by scererar
I was running a Gnome Character rogue/ ill. got into a fight with a band of golbins. The 1/2 orc barbarian in our group beheaded a goblin, and my trying to be funny, cast invisibility on myself, picked up the head and went running into the melee yelling bugga bugga bugga. The DM thought it was funny, but counted it as attacking the goblins, resulting on the spell to end and the quick end to my character
I think you got the short end of the stick in that encounter. Unless you were hitting the goblins I don't see why you should have lost your invisibility. Personally I give you serious props for a plan to intimidate and demoralize your enemy.
Your gnome should be alive and well, with a great story to tell.
Just my opinion.
I have to agree... Your character wasn't directly or indirectly attacking, he was just trying to scare the gobbies. I'd've allowed that.
My minotaur had an easier scare tactic: in the first encounter, he'd pick up the corpse of one of the baddies he'd killed. In the next encounter, he'd start off by throwing the corpse at a convenient baddie. After that encounter was done, he'd grab a new corpse...
Of course, it wasn't just a scare tactic. He did try to nail the nastybads with the thrown corpses, injuring them or at least slowing them down for a round or two. |
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I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen!  |
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Fletcher
Learned Scribe
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 06 Dec 2005 : 22:20:25
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[quote]Originally posted by Wooly Rupert
>>snip!<<
YUK! How did the rest of the party feel about having a huge bull headed monster hauling around stinky decaying corpses? 
Did anyone worry about diseases? Vermin? How often Trouble (notice the capital T ) find the party because your characters were hauling around a stinky decaying corpse?
I'm sure you made great first impressions. I can imagine the confusion of a wagon load of merchants on their way to town. Big ugly minotaur carrying corpse of big ugly ogre.
Do they run and hide?
Do they pay homage and say thanks?
Do they offer a bribe and pray its enough to allow them to live.
Sounds like a poor situation to find ones self as a traveling merchant.
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Run faster! The Kobolds are catching up! |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36804 Posts |
Posted - 06 Dec 2005 : 22:47:16
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quote:
Originally posted by Fletcher
[quote]Originally posted by Wooly Rupert
>>snip!<<
YUK! How did the rest of the party feel about having a huge bull headed monster hauling around stinky decaying corpses?
Did anyone worry about diseases? Vermin? How often Trouble (notice the capital T) find the party because your characters were hauling around a stinky decaying corpse?
I'm sure you made great first impressions. I can imagine the confusion of a wagon load of merchants on their way to town. Big ugly minotaur carrying corpse of big ugly ogre.
Do they run and hide?
Do they pay homage and say thanks?
Do they offer a bribe and pray its enough to allow them to live.
Sounds like a poor situation to find ones self as a traveling merchant.
Nah, he didn't carry them around all the time. He only would use fresh corpses, and it was only while adventuring.
The only time he carried a corpse for longer than a few minutes, it was the body of an NPC that had been slain during the adventure. My character wanted to take the body back to town, to give it a proper burial. So he wrapped it in a spare cloak and stuck it in his bag of holding. |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen! |
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scererar
Master of Realmslore
USA
1618 Posts |
Posted - 07 Dec 2005 : 01:57:01
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I agree, the short end of the short sword anyways. It was all good, it was a very fun game and my character went out well, in my opinion. that was years ago when my group all had just started with the 2nd edition, and look I get to share the story with all of you.
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Trinkett
Acolyte
United Kingdom
6 Posts |
Posted - 14 Dec 2005 : 22:11:29
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I used to play with a party of four, a wizard, a fighter, a ranger, and I played a thief. Anyway, Our DM just LOVED test driving his custom made monsters on us, so during one big encounter, we killed a monster which exploded into piles of green goo on the floor. Now this monster had been backed up by a small undead hoard, and after killing most of them, our Party decided to capture one and tie it up with rope skill. This perculiar behavior gave the wizard and myself just enough experience to level up, so as we assigned ourselves new skill-points and feats, the Ranger and the fighter got to talking about the green goo, which still lay about them in puddles,
Ranger: So what do you think it does?
Fighter: Probably nothing, I bet it's just like goopy green meat!
Ranger: No way! I bet it's poisonous!
Fighter: I bet it gives you strength or something!
Ranger: well if you're so sure why don't you eat some?
Fighter: I'm not eating some, you eat some!
Ranger: No Way!
Fighter: Ok, Ok....Lets feed it to the Zombie!
The stupidest thing about this plan, is that they actually went through with it, caussing our DM to interrupt our Levelling up to give a particularly graphic description of the Zombie putating into an enormous hybred of itself and the dead monster, and killing the Fighter and Ranger. The Wizard survived thanks to a well timed potion, and my theif survived by hiding in a nearby cell.
"Discretion is the better part of valour, and cowardice is the better part of discretion, so Zaphod Valiantly hid in a cupboard!" |
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Reefy
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
892 Posts |
Posted - 27 Dec 2005 : 17:04:11
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Our resident party genius has seemingly outdone himself once more. Whilst accompanying a caravan party through the Cloud Peaks before winter sets in, a group of figures was spotted in the distance. Suspecting that they might be the bandits who had been terrorising the transport through the pass, the caravan train halts, allowing the party to move forward.
Slash, the party's fighter/rogue volunteers to scout ahead and discover just what the figures are. Sneaking off to the side, he soon realises it is a group of orcs, and thinking quickly, uses his hat of disguise to make himself appear like an orc. Unfortunately, this was where his good ideas ran out...
Dithering about whether to reveal himself and talk the orcs out of attacking, they bypassed his hiding place and charged in to attack. Slash was left to belatedly run after them and engage them in melee. Unfortunately, he failed to remove his disguise, looking like a burly seven foot orc lagging behind the rest. This of course meant he was just another target for the party archer and after the other orcs had been slain, the wild elf barbarian, Devrar, continued to slash at him. Rather disgruntled, Slash reveals himself and swears at the elf. Surprised by this turn of events, Devrar holds back, only for Slash to whip out a pistol and shoot him in the foot. Unsure of what was going on and whether it really was Slash or an orcish trick, Devrar does the only sensible thing in the situation and batters him into unconsciousness. |
Life is either daring adventure or nothing. |
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laheotyree
Acolyte
2 Posts |
Posted - 28 Dec 2005 : 17:13:49
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quote:
Originally posted by Bendal
In another group I was DM'ing, they had found a necklace of fireballs in a treasure pile. Later on, as they were adventuring underground, they met up with some gargoyles in a 10' wide, 10' high hallway. One of the PC's asks me, "how far can I throw one of these globes?". "About 70'" I said.
"Great!" he says, and then tells me he pulls ALL the globes off the necklace and throws them at the approaching gargoyles, figuring that 70' is more than far enough to be outside the 20' blast radius.
Except...fireballs take up a set amount of volume, and a 10'x10' hallway isn't very much at all. The combined HD of the fireball expanded way past where they were located, and I made them all make saving throws for the damage. I think the survivors were very unhappy with the fireball throwing PC...
This one reminds me of a campaign in Myth Drannor I was in during 2e. I was playing a 10/11 Thief/Mage (Spell Filcher). We found our way into a sub-basement of some chruch and ended up in a room with a statue pointing in the direction of a door. My group and I, after searching the room and finding no traps checked the door. Inside, we saw a 20'x20'room with Serpent Priests chanting around an altar. Slowly, we closed the door and another mage and I started casting fireballs and JUST before we finished casting the group opened the door and the fireballs went flying in and then slammed the door shut.
We didn't tell the DM what we were doing and when the door slammed shut we could feel the concussion of the explosion. The door flew off the hinges and the ceiling sounded like it was gonna fall and the DM gave us a dirty look as he started making saving throws for magical items in the room. |
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sleyvas
Skilled Spell Strategist
USA
11829 Posts |
Posted - 28 Dec 2005 : 20:56:02
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My recent group was in Praka (captitol of the Barony of Ostel in Damara), in the years just following the fall of Zhengyi (before Gareth had taken the throne). Anyway, in my version, Baroness Sylvia was a noble of Damara who had been birthed upon a Thayan Daeronness. Thus, when she took over Ostel, she allowed the Thayans to setup one of the first enclaves (non-canon, but it worked). Anyway, the party had pissed off Sylvia, and as a result she had hired a Thayan lich (ok, the ONLY Thayan lich) from the enclave to assassinate them. Being a 16th lvl or so conjurer with a demon for a cohort made the encounter deadly, but not dangerous enough for a party of 13th-14th lvl adventurers. So, I stacked in some incorporeal undead and an emerald gemstone golems.
Well, the party destroys the demon, wipes the floor with the undead, forces the lich to magically flee, and almost destroys the golems. Well, they got pissed when the lich left, because they lost out on all the loot (btw, I had just stripped them of their items 2 or 3 adventures earlier, if that helps explain). The golem then creates a teleportation circle and steps through. The party decides "we aren't letting a huge gem get away" and leaps after the golem. Well, the teleportation circle is supposed to be random, but I figured the golem would return somewhere that it could be repaired.... like where it was created. So, the party appears in the middle of a big sand pit with raised seating surrounding it, the ground covered in scorch marks. In the stands around them they see about 20 or so wizards in red robes casting spells. They instantly realize they've just appeared in some wizard academy's spellcasting test ground... and now the wizards have live targets to practice on.
I will give them credit for some quick thinking. One character cast etherealness and fled into the earth (I figured this area would be low security and not have the protections against magical transport... thus why the golem came in here). Another cast darkness on the group while another cast passwall on the ground beneath their feet. So, they fell. I gave them all falling damage, and then. They had no teleport magics, so they decided to just try to go deeper by casting rock to mud. I then ruled that they had actually opened up a breach into the sewer system beneath the city. I then had them fleeing blindly through the sewers from the mages (made even harder by the fact that they cast silence on themselves). They didn't know where to go, and they were under the assumption that they were being chased (but couldn't listen to tell). Finally, I had them come to a point where all the sewerage was draining and disappearing into another portal. They leapt through, sure they were going to go to some elemental plane and be screwed. I had them land in a farm on the outskirts of Bezantur (the city they had unwittingly teleported to). Skeletons were busily loading a wagon full of excrement to be used in the fields as fertilizer. The party quickly overpowered the low level priest of Cyric (then lord of the dead) which was overseeing the skeleton work crew. They then spent a night in sewerage soaked clothes, waiting to memorize spells to get home, hoping that the wizards didn't track them to this portal.
While all this was going on, the character that had gone ethereal and left his party members thought it was hilarious. When I got back to him, I asked him where he goes. He states that he walks through the earth until he comes to an alleyway. He then comes out and walks the street until he finds a room that he can rent for the night.
I figured this was all good, but an obviously well-dressed person in Bezantur staying alone might attract the attention of the brave and foolhardy. So, I decided that a drunk idiot would break into his room and try to steal his coinpouch... I also decided that being drunk the guy would disrupt the character's sleep rummaging about (I figured it would be just an annoyance). The player wakes up and casts hold person on the guy, gives him a lecture, then slides him out into the hallway and just shuts the door. Everyone in the party is getting a kick out of it, because they can't believe that he didn't do something more permanent or at least turn the guy over to the authorities. Now, had I not already ruled that the guy was a drunk idiot, I figure he would have fled... but being a drunken fool, I figured he'd come unfrozen and decide to deliver some "whoop-ass" on an uppity priest. So, he comes in the room, and the priest casts a fear spell on him. When the man leaves screaming bloody murder, the priest decides maybe its time to leave this hotel. So, he grabs up all his armor (he doesn't have time to put it on)and starts trotting out on the street in the middle of the night.
I then have him walking along the street when he happens across the same drunken fool talking to some constables. Rather than ducking down another road, he just says he keeps going trying to get past fast. The drunk is having to explain his behavior, to which he's telling them that his armor was stolen and he's giving them a description of the character when he looks up and says "that's him".
Finally, the priest has had enough, and he blade barriers the whole street (luckily it was night and the only folk were the guards and the man). Fearing being chased down by the town militia, he takes off running for the next hotel he can find. He enters, obviously on the run toting his armor, so the person behind the desk offers to hide him for 100 gold in a secret compartment in her floor. The next morning comes and he wants to get out. She agrees to let him out for another 100 gold, which he pays because he wasn't able to get relaxing sleep in the compartment. He then rents a room (another 100 gold for a man on the run) for 4 hours so he can sleep, so he can rest and memorize spells to escape back home.
Oddly, they didn't learn from this lesson of don't just jump through any portal you see. A few adventures later, they were assaulting that Thayan enclave in Praka (to recover their aformentioned stolen items), Anyway, the party had attacked the enclave and fled, leaving it in Chaos. They had gone to the plane of the halflings to hole up just long enough to recover spells and return (they knew they had knocked out the major players in the enclave and figured to return with the enclave in mid-strife). It was then I decided that Velsharoon (still mortal) had decided to invade the enclave to recover the Phylactery of Mellifleur (which I was ruling he would use to eventually become a god with the aid of Talos, which was a behind the scenes thing going on throughout the entire campaign). Anyway, the party returns only to find the enclave engaged in a semi-organized assault with the treasury being emptied by about a dozen golems. The golems are obviously carrying their ill-gotten gain to a portal and disappearing. Two of the characters immediately take off and head for the portal. One faces off against the two golems guarding the portal, the other goes immediately invisible. The one facing off is killed, leaving the other alone with no means to escape.... so he begins exploring. I pull him in another room and describe him meeting up with Velsharoon, which ends up with Velsharoon casting trap the soul on the character (who was a reformed fey'ri due to the spell that traps you in a gem for a year and turns you good, so it was kinda poetic). |
Alavairthae, may your skill prevail
Phillip aka Sleyvas |
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Vangelor
Learned Scribe
USA
183 Posts |
Posted - 30 Dec 2005 : 09:22:24
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We had tracked the Chaos Beast, which we had been hired to hunt and slay, to an isolated farmstead on the Moonsea Coast, entered the house, and located the broken floor-boards leading to the smuggler's cave beneath, which had become the creature's lair when, amidst the carnage of the slaughtered farmfolk in the house, we hear a baby crying...
Baby - healthy, unharmed but unhappy, crying. We proceed to discuss what to do with it. My vote was put it in bed until we actually have killed the Chaos Beast - if we kill the Chaos Beast, we can bring the child to an orphanage or something. It would be safer kept well out of the combat zone. But no... we couldn't possibly leave it, argued two others, so the baby came with us - in the ranger's backpack.
"Be sure to leave it's face exposed so it can breathe!" warned his companion, as we descended to the cave to confront the Chaos Beast, claim its head, and return to meet out contacts at the Drunken Badger for our reward. There is a huge fight, we win, I figure out how to get us out of the cave, and the DM asks, "Where is the baby?"
"In my pack!" says the ranger.
"You sure it didn't fall out?"
"Oh no - I closed my pack securely to keep it safe."
Result - one suffocated baby, a distraught ranger, a Raise Dead scroll wasted (the gods opted not to commit the infant to our care again) and me just left shaking my head. |
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Trinkett
Acolyte
United Kingdom
6 Posts |
Posted - 02 Jan 2006 : 23:26:10
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"Where's The Baby?"
"In My Pack!"
That's magnificent, It just says so much about Dungeons and Dragons...I may need to use it as my signature. |
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wiseguysez
Acolyte
Canada
8 Posts |
Posted - 12 Jan 2006 : 17:31:14
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| ahahahaha! these are hilarious! |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 24 Jan 2006 : 13:58:45
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This quote comes direct from Hammer of Moradin / Kev / Daleson, upon encountering a troll and a group of humans/elves.
"I have the troll, everyone else take the ugly ones." |
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Bendal
Seeker
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 18 Feb 2006 : 14:52:15
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| In a different game I DM'ed, the party was crossing a range of mountains and encounted a gynosphinx blocking a pass. She offered to let them pass if they would engage her in a contest of riddles. This party was made up of several regulars and a newcomer, playing an anti-paladin. For some reason he was elected to challenge the gynosphinx (perhaps that was deliberate by the others...). She asked her riddle which the party was able to answer correctly. Then it was their turn. The anti-paladin proceeded to ask a string of "dead baby" riddles (you know, the really offensive and gross ones), which so infuriated the sphinx she threw a symbol of insanity on him. He failed his save and the rest of the party took him to town, where they abandoned him to take over as the local idiot. |
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Mask
Learned Scribe
104 Posts |
Posted - 20 Feb 2006 : 11:23:58
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I'm not sure the following qualifies as stupid, but it wasn't smart to be sure. After a hard fight against a flesh golem and a head (seriously, just a head), we encountered a sphere. It was a multicoloured sphere, flashing and stuff. Yes, you're right, it was a prismatic sphere.
Anyway, only a npc and myself survived the previous battle, and we needed something inside of the sphere. Being a ranger/fighter (both lvl 3) I decided to test it first. Not knowing the powers of this thing I threw a rock at it. Nothing happened, or so I thought. Then I decided to touch the thing. I was petrified! The rock was also, probably. But hey, a rock is already petrified, right? The irony.
Don't worry though, he was turn back to flesh. |
Nothing is impossible! |
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TheHermit
Seeker
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 27 Feb 2006 : 04:30:30
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| Having been granted three wishes, my gnome illusionist and master of the whip, lasso and bolas, 'Tangleweed' Boljang, wished for a pair of wings. A discriminating sort, he wasn't happy with the wings he got from the first wish, and spent the next two wishes getting exactly what he wanted. Tangleweed was delighted; the rest of the party, not so much. |
- "Glitz & Klax's Potions & Elixirs"/"The Sandmen", Inside Ravens Bluff, The Living City; 1990; TSR, Inc.
- "The Far Guardians' Traveler's Mission", Port of Ravens Bluff; 1991, TSR, Inc.
- "Signs Painted", Polyhedron #70; April, 1992; TSR, Inc.
- Communications Director, Coliseum of Comics, Orlando, FL - http://coliseumofcomics.com/ |
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Xysma
Master of Realmslore
USA
1089 Posts |
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Xysma
Master of Realmslore
USA
1089 Posts |
Posted - 13 Mar 2006 : 19:37:33
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| So, my party is travelling through the Black Jungle when we come across a small clearing. The clearing was evidently created when the vegetation in the area became blighted. Dead-center of the clearing is an ancient-looking weathered statue of a female humanoid, probably an elf or a human. As we stand there looking into the clearing, we all hear a ghostly female voice in our heads telling us to leave the place in peace or join her in death. My mongrelfolk monk looks to the party and says, "To hell with this, I'm leaving." The human cleric and the wild elf ranger agree, so we start walking off. After a few steps we notice that the fourth member of our party, a blue-skinned halfling, hasn't budged. The player looks at the DM and says, "I fly over and hump the statue's head." Once we realize what he is doing, our walk becomes a run.... We never got a chance to find out why he was a blue-skinned halfling, because we never saw him again. |
War to slay, not to fight long and glorious.
Aermhar of the Tangletrees
Year of the Hooded Falcon
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Edited by - Xysma on 13 Mar 2006 19:38:16 |
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Belthor
Seeker
USA
52 Posts |
Posted - 14 Mar 2006 : 23:06:07
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| We're in the Spiderhaunt forest and we encounter 3 trolls. Our party has hacked two of them into pieces, but the third has picked up our druid and is trying to rip her in half. Our cleric decides that since the troll has both hands occupied at the moment, he's going to cast continuel flame on the troll's head, thinking to burn it up. (Is it obvious to everyone that the cleric didn't know what continual flame did when he prepared it?) Anyway, since the spell is done by touch, he had to roll to see if he touched the troll's head. He barely made the roll, so the Dm ruled that while he was running to touch the troll, he tripped and grabbed the troll's butt while casting. The poor troll looked down and saw a permanent, (if non damaging) flame coming out of his butt. Luckily for the party, the troll was so scared by this that he dropped the druid and ran away trying to put out the fire. |
If the rest of humanity were only as smart as my familiar...... |
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Sian
Senior Scribe
Denmark
596 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2006 : 18:29:45
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first one is a continued episode of fireball happy Wizards
a group that was a round level 6 with a druid, ranger, 2 fighters and a wizard was in a forest chasing some vampires that had captured a unicorn ... they find the vampires and start fighting them ... one of the vampires jump up in a tree where the wood elf fighter (that mainly uses bows) is sitting and just dealt like 60 damage in one round (rapid shot and 3 crits) ... while the fighter jumped down and shotting upwards at the same time the wizard found out that he had nothing but fireballs left ... and throws one at the tree ... setting the whole forest on fire, and killing both the vampires, the unicorn, the druid, both fighters and himself in the following wildfire
second one is a rather idiotic Fighter we had in the party while hunting a thieves guild in Selgaunt (Sembia) ... he manage to shot two from the roof of the inn and goes to loot them and find out that they aren't dead but just knocked out ... then he takes one in each foot and run to the cityguard at the gates to the higher town (knocking the poor rogues even more out because of that their heads repeatably hits the stones in the road) ... when he get there he learn that the prison is next to the inn and back it goes (with more stones hitting the rogues) ... when he get to the prison he gets into a heated debate with the prisonwarden (that in sercet is leader of the thieves guild we found out later) about weither it is legal or illegal to shoot people at nights (no matter if they are climbing roofs or anything else) and weither it is legal at all to carry weapons insite the city if you aren't a guard ... which end up with the quite heated fighter to pull out his two scimatars and gets thrown into prison for a tenday |
what happened to the queen? she's much more hysterical than usual
She's a women, it happens once a month |
Edited by - Sian on 16 Mar 2006 18:30:43 |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2006 : 18:41:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Sian
first one is a continued episode of fireball happy Wizards
a group that was a round level 6 with a druid, ranger, 2 fighters and a wizard was in a forest chasing some vampires that had captured a unicorn ... they find the vampires and start fighting them ... one of the vampires jump up in a tree where the wood elf fighter (that mainly uses bows) is sitting and just dealt like 60 damage in one round (rapid shot and 3 crits) ... while the fighter jumped down and shotting upwards at the same time the wizard found out that he had nothing but fireballs left ... and throws one at the tree ... setting the whole forest on fire, and killing both the vampires, the unicorn, the druid, both fighters and himself in the following wildfire
second one is a rather idiotic Fighter we had in the party while hunting a thieves guild in Selgaunt (Sembia) ... he manage to shot two from the roof of the inn and goes to loot them and find out that they aren't dead but just knocked out ... then he takes one in each foot and run to the cityguard at the gates to the higher town (knocking the poor rogues even more out because of that their heads repeatably hits the stones in the road) ... when he get there he learn that the prison is next to the inn and back it goes (with more stones hitting the rogues) ... when he get to the prison he gets into a heated debate with the prisonwarden (that in sercet is leader of the thieves guild we found out later) about weither it is legal or illegal to shoot people at nights (no matter if they are climbing roofs or anything else) and weither it is legal at all to carry weapons insite the city if you aren't a guard ... which end up with the quite heated fighter to pull out his two scimatars and gets thrown into prison for a tenday
And what happened to the two thieves? |
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Sian
Senior Scribe
Denmark
596 Posts |
Posted - 16 Mar 2006 : 18:46:14
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| they was set free for lack of evidence |
what happened to the queen? she's much more hysterical than usual
She's a women, it happens once a month |
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laheotyree
Acolyte
2 Posts |
Posted - 22 Mar 2006 : 16:30:09
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quote:
Originally posted by Trinkett
Ranger: So what do you think it does?
Fighter: Probably nothing, I bet it's just like goopy green meat!
Ranger: No way! I bet it's poisonous!
Fighter: I bet it gives you strength or something!
Ranger: well if you're so sure why don't you eat some?
Fighter: I'm not eating some, you eat some!
Ranger: No Way!
Fighter: Ok, Ok....Lets feed it to the Zombie!
The stupidest thing about this plan, is that they actually went through with it, caussing our DM to interrupt our Levelling up to give a particularly graphic description of the Zombie putating into an enormous hybred of itself and the dead monster, and killing the Fighter and Ranger. The Wizard survived thanks to a well timed potion, and my theif survived by hiding in a nearby cell.
"Discretion is the better part of valour, and cowardice is the better part of discretion, so Zaphod Valiantly hid in a cupboard!"
This reminds me of a Ravenloft Campaign that I was part of. We were finishing up Feast of Goblyns. We found a church with a rack of cloaks. When we went to it, one moved and we ended up killing a Cloaker.
After the encounter we started poking the other cloaks to make sure that they weren't alive too.
When we found hat they were "just cloaks" we started looking through them. IRL, we were laughing about it all and saying "I'll bet you this is a cloak of poisonousness.". We found it funny cause we kept on mispronouncing it. Our Dm, was trying his hardest not to burst out laughing. We laughed for about 5 mins about it until our Halfing Theif, who liked to pull pranks all the time just for a laugh, decided that he was going to put it on. Sure enough, it was a cloak of poisonousness. He started twichting and screaming, then died. We all stopped laughing, and just stared at the theif. From that point on, we started "identifying" anything we found.
laheotyree |
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Elfinblade
Senior Scribe
Norway
377 Posts |
Posted - 27 Mar 2006 : 17:45:00
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There has been many "stupid" situations up over the years. One particular incident, however, comes to mind. This was in our younger days, in the good old AD&d era. We had a rather large group. Consisting of 5 players; 2 thiefs(who always tried to hide the loot from each other) 1 paladin, 1 fighter and 1 Cleric of Lathander.
We had on a previous adventure found a treasure map on a goblin(!) corpse. We had our doubts about the credibility of this map, but of course our two thieves, in character as always, had their greed outshine their wits.
The treasure map was, in fact, leading us directly to what was supposed to be "A nearly unguarded hoards of gold and magical weapons". Needless to say, this was not correct.
Well, we got into this rather large, oval cave entrance in the middle of a timid, murky swampland, seething with insects, snakes and other unnamed horrors. As we walked awed inside the cave, we couldnt help but notice an overwhelming stench of predator. A large one judging from the enormous heaps of dung, bones and discarded clothes in a corner.
To our utmost dread, we came to the conclusion that we were in fact in a dragons cave. Most likely a rather large one at that.
So, there we were, 5 brave companions in the middle of a Black drake`s den, arguing quite loudly whether we should retreat, stay and fight the dragon to rid the world of it`s evil, find the treasure hoard and then run and so on.
Of course, again, our greed outshone our wits. The lure of magical artifacts and a mountain of gold won us over. We also agreed (to the Paladin`s utter astonishment) that we would rob the dragon of most of it`s prized possesions, then scuttle away with our tails between our legs.
We proceeded to pack all the baubles, weapons, gold into all the containers we had; shoes, helmets, pockets, empty water-skins. The result of this was of course that we became so encumbered that we couldnt run at all, we trotted sloooowly out of the cave.
What the rest of us didnt know was that one of the two thieves, competing with eachother as always, this time over who got the rarest artifact, had found something rather unknown to us at the time. Oil of impact. he had found approx 5 gallons of the stuff. He didnt recognize it for what it was of course. He later told us the DM had told him to do a alchemy check to identify the potions. He thought he had made it when the DM told him "well, it you feel RELATIVELY sure that this is a large quantity of Water breathing liquid.". Of course, he did not make the check.
When there suddenly fell a ominous shadow over us just as we walked out of the cave`s gloom, we realized we were hard pressed. The dread that settled over us immediately was undescribable.
To make it short, the battle were long, tedious and tragic. The lathandrian cleric died heroicly shielding the elf ranger from a corrosive acid spray, while the fighter lost a leg.
The thing everyone had forgotten was, of course, the backpack full of what our thief believed was "5 gallons of water breathing potion".
So when the remaining thief yelled "run into the cave!" we of course complied, the futility of the situation finally settling over us like a blanket of despair.
We ran like hell into the cave, the thief and the dragon hot on our tails.
To wrap it up, the thief, or the rest of us, werent very fast runners encumbered with our heavy greedy backpacks of gold and artifacts. The dragon proved this point when he suddenly lunged like a reptile and had the thief firmly in his needle filled jaws. The rest of us turned our heads just in time to hear a sickly "pop". Wether it was from his spine suddenly snapping in two, or the containers filled to the brim with Oil of impact is not certain.
What is certain however, is the cataclysmic BOOM that resonated throughout the swamplands and beyond.
Needless to say, 5 gallons of Oil of impact will most definately be able to crack open the skull of an aged black dragon. And also to cause a rather large cave-in on top of our heads.
The lesson here is: do not trust your dice rolls, and do not, under any circumstance, load 5 gallons of Oil of impact into your backpack while excpecting to flee form aged wyrms. |
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Paj
Seeker
United Kingdom
56 Posts |
Posted - 31 Mar 2006 : 12:45:35
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I have a good one:
The lvl 18 CE Half-Orc Barbarian 5/Fighter 10/Orc Warlord 3 COLLECTIVELY telling the Dark Eight to "*expletive deleted* off"
Do I really need to go into any more detail about what happened next? |
Edited by - Paj on 31 Mar 2006 12:46:50 |
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Stupidest thing a character has done
