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LordAnki
Seeker
USA
73 Posts |
 Posted - 26 May 2005 : 23:23:21
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| Well, we were doing something or another, me a half-elven druid with my wolf animal companion well anywho, we had an elven rnager who did a critical miss on a kobold that was right next to my companion and well hit my companion. So it was pretty much dead. Then our barbarian half orc went and hit my companion on purpose. Me and him fought for a long time. I got knocked out first. So the cleric revived me. I knocked the barb out. He got revived. And we went back and forth until the cleric ran out of spells and so before I died the sorcerer just casted magic missle on the barb and well knocked him out then they healed me and then told the barb that no more fighting me. It was cool. I ended up faling asleep at the final battle for a few minutes lol. |
Tip of the Month: don't drink the dirty water. You know what i'm talking about if you know what i mean. |
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Sgain
Acolyte
Canada
32 Posts |
Posted - 28 May 2005 : 07:37:22
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My party and I had spent three long danger-filled days travelling to the Oracle of the Mountain, a legendary seer who would hopefully aid us in our quest (I've long forgotten what it was for). We were tired and near broke as my character bagged a rabbit with a snare for our 'pre-oracle' dinner.
One of the group figured he'd get a drop on us by talking first to the oracle, and he walked up to the hole in the ground (where the oracle was said to live) and shouted down to him. After a few tense moments we heard a voice drift back up...
"Ahhh..I knew you were coming to see me." came the raspy voice, "Give me your payment and I'll answer your questions."
We had pooled together our meager resources and tossed down a pouch with our combined wealth.
"Good...ask your question for it is near my dinner time."
With a flash of insight I shouted "Would you like something to eat?"
There was a long pause, and I looked at my friends faces who were staring at me in horror, then I realised that I'd asked a question!
"Yes." came the response from the hole.
Needless to say, we turned and went back down the mountain without an answer to our question...
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Asgetrion
Master of Realmslore
Finland
1564 Posts |
Posted - 28 May 2005 : 22:06:55
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Well met, all!
This topic reminds me of two catastrophic events in our campaigns. The first one happened in Menzoberranzan, when one of the players happened get his hands on a ´Deck of Many Things´... and our DM allowed ´unlimited´ draws from it instead of DMG rules (normally you must state how many cards you´re going to draw, and then you can never draw again from that particular deck).
Unfortunately, we didn´t know of this deck, and the wizard who possessed it tried to draw the ´Wish´-card to get us to Limbo ("I have my means to get us there... just wait till the morning!"). While we were sleeping, he started drawing, and quite soon drew the Death-card. We startled from our sleep by his cried for help. Of course, we didn´t understand what this mysterious, pale drow assailant ("Kiaransalee"-like Minor Death) was...Combine this with 4th level characters, who EACH got a Minor Death of their own to battle. I think one of us survived in addition to the wizard, who FINALLY drew the Wish-card, and wished: "I wish for that Thing to disappear and never bother me again"... *sigh*
The other one happened a couple of years ago, when my character descended the pit inside the central pyramid of Ascore to "see what is imprisoned there" (a long story). Needless to say, The Thing that Slept woke up... 
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"What am I doing today? Ask me tomorrow - I can be sure of giving you the right answer then."
-- Askarran of Selgaunt, Master Sage, speaking to a curious merchant, Year of the Helm |
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thomas b.
Acolyte
24 Posts |
Posted - 30 May 2005 : 22:20:02
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| OK I JUST THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY . OK ME AND SOME OF MY FRIENDS WERE PLAYING D&D AND WE WERE IN A CHAMBER WITH WALLS SOURRONDING IT ,IM WITH MY UNCLE WHO IS PLAYING A BARBARIAN,MY FRIEND THOR WHO PLAYS A BARD.SO MY UNCLES BARBARIAN GETS MAD AND HURLS ME A 100LBS ROGUE20 FEET ONTO THE WALL,AND MY FRIEND THOR BEFORE I LANDED DECIDE TO CAST A SPELL ON ME .LITTLE DID I KNOW THOW SPELL MADE ME GLOW LIKE A LIGHT BULB.SO I A GREAT ROGUE LAND ON MY FEET OFCOURSE BUT WHEN I LANDED THE LIGHT ALLOWED ME TO SEE THE FOUR WINTER WOLVE AND THREE ORCS I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL ALONE. QUITE LAUGHING THAT SUCKED. |
THOMAS BENJAMIN |
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Manxam
Acolyte
Denmark
6 Posts |
Posted - 30 May 2005 : 22:44:14
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A lot of funny stories in here. I have one to the collection on stupidest thing a character has done.
I was dungeon master for a pair of elves which had gotten some information on a Red wizard Enclave in Hillsfar. After they had taken a Informer as captive, they needed a place to interrogate him. They could'nt take him to a tavern or inn because the captive was badly wounded and it would make too much attention,(it would look bad for them if the Red wizards found out about their investigation)so they went for the first house on their path. A commoner opens the door and one of the elves charms him, so that he will let them interrogate the captive in his house. They tell him to go upstairs while the interrogation takes place, and they head for the basement. Their captive won't speak and they threaten his life, after wich he attacks them with a dagger he had hidden. Their captive is know dead in the basement and they go upstairs to head out. Then they both spot a red cloacked man outside as they are about to open the door. Scared to death of the red wizard they decide to hide in the house, but the charm effect on the commoner who owns the house is long gone. The Commoner is quite upset, and the characters need a hidding place. This is where the funny part comes. One of the elves then dicides to bluff the commoner. He scores a critical. He actually did not say his actual bluff, so I asked him "what do you tell him". Confused as he was he did not know what to say, so I decided to give him 5 seconds to make a bluff. ...4.....3...2..." there is a dead man in your basement" was all he said. Me and the other player was on the floor laughing on that one. what kind of a bluff is "There is a dead man in your basement". After 5 minutes of laughing, we decided to play again. The commoner got damn scared and went for the door as he bumbled into a red wizard and the characters escaped out of the backdoor as the commoner explained of the "dead man in the basement".I never ask for bluff checks from him again. Maybe he should try intimidate next time. |
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Xysma
Master of Realmslore
USA
1089 Posts |
Posted - 02 Jun 2005 : 16:56:23
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| Another dumb thing I did. One of my favorite characters was a half-orc named N'Ghak. He had grown up among orcs, and was used to scavenging for food, so he had developed a habit of tasting things he had killed, to see if they were good to eat. Anyway, eventually he killed a demon and the NPC that was with the party cut out the demon's heart, and offered the disgusting black mass to N'Ghak to taste. Not wanting to back down from a challenge, I ate the heart, and got really, really sick. When I awoke a week later from my fever induced nightmares, I found that I had been changed by the experience. I had become a half-fiend and my alignment had changed to Chaotic Evil. From then on, I struggled against my evil tendencies, and my teammates never turned on me. A cleric of Lathander that we aided took pity on me and helped me to redeem myself, so I did manage to go back to Chaotic Neutral, but of course I still look fiendish. |
War to slay, not to fight long and glorious.
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Check out my custom action figures, hand-painted miniatures, gaming products, and other stuff on eBay.
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Icewolf
Learned Scribe
USA
214 Posts |
Posted - 02 Jun 2005 : 20:21:14
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OK, After helping me to finance and cast Epic Spell Reflection, a rival caster (Who I found out was Epicly mind-controlled) tried to cast a Disintegrate on me, but he used an artifact that the DM let him have to apply metamagics on it to the point of it being the equivalent of a 24th level spell!!!
Disintegrate: Level 6
Quicken: +4
Still: +1
Silent: +1
Empower: +2
Maximize: +3
Twin Spell: +4
Repeat Spell: +3
Now, this Artifact is very nice. You could set several rods into it, and activate them simutaneously. VERY useful for using those metamagic rods... a fact that I now make full use of, considering that the character is a pile of dust that I keep in a potion bottle. |
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Forge
Learned Scribe
USA
218 Posts |
Posted - 02 Jun 2005 : 21:33:10
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| Gnome Bard, with a Light spell cast on him singing one of his songs goes to roll his Move Silent/Hide and wonders why we laughed. (Player was young but it was funny anyways.) |
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Bendal
Seeker
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 02 Jun 2005 : 22:25:54
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In another group I was DM'ing, they had found a necklace of fireballs in a treasure pile. Later on, as they were adventuring underground, they met up with some gargoyles in a 10' wide, 10' high hallway. One of the PC's asks me, "how far can I throw one of these globes?". "About 70'" I said.
"Great!" he says, and then tells me he pulls ALL the globes off the necklace and throws them at the approaching gargoyles, figuring that 70' is more than far enough to be outside the 20' blast radius.
Except...fireballs take up a set amount of volume, and a 10'x10' hallway isn't very much at all. The combined HD of the fireball expanded way past where they were located, and I made them all make saving throws for the damage. I think the survivors were very unhappy with the fireball throwing PC... |
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Fletcher
Learned Scribe
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 03 Jun 2005 : 16:38:09
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| After barely surviving the combat in the swamp, the heroes retreat into a large cave. Only to meet with a dracolich. After several long minutes of negotiation, the party has a deal for their lives. The party halfling seeing that he is safe makes a wise-crack. One breath and a single round of melee to finish off the fighter, and the party was rolling up new characters, and throwing pretzels and peanuts at the halfling's player. |
Run faster! The Kobolds are catching up! |
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Neo2151
Learned Scribe
USA
113 Posts |
Posted - 07 Jun 2005 : 08:45:46
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| We were resting from a hard day of fighting in the Hillsbrad foothills, and in the middle of the night, we're attacked by three trolls. Well, our dwarven fighter (who's usually the butt of all our jokes and misadventures) isn't the brightest crayon in the box and doesn't carry with him a shirt of chain to sleep in. Well, he gets into a seperate melee with a troll and ends up chasing it off into the nearby woods to finish it off. After successfully killing the troll, this undergarment-shod dwarf hefts his axe and his shield, and rather than charge up to the dwarf his ally is fighting (which was 40' away so his only options were move up or charge), he walks up! Well, one attack of opportunity later and he's rolling up his new character. |
"Come looking for me, and I will blast you to dust, and then lay waste to all your descendants, ancestors, and the realm you came from, every last tree and stone of it. Why? Well, it's what I usually do."
-Baerendra Riverhand on The Story of Spellfire |
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Fletcher
Learned Scribe
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 14 Jun 2005 : 20:48:23
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In the game I'm currently running, the quote of the evening:
"I'll unstopper the acid and cover the top with my thumb so I don't splash any on my character."
after several moments of laughter from the rest of the party, this character then proceeded to splash the acid up at a spider on the ceiling directly above him. Getting as much on himself as the spider.
I love players with forethought
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Run faster! The Kobolds are catching up! |
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KnightErrantJR
Great Reader
USA
5402 Posts |
Posted - 18 Jun 2005 : 04:51:21
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My step son (God bless him) created a Lythari sorcerer. He and his sister started playing in my regular campaign, and the whole group was going to meet in the tap room of the Old Skull Inn in Shadowdale, where they, as well as a few adventuring parties, were snowed in. One of the drunker adventuers at another table started insulting the half ogre monk (my step daughter's character) and to defend her honor the lythari turned into a wolf in front of everyone.
Two groups of cabin fever infested adventuring companies have now just seen someone turn into a wolf in front of them, and I ruled that most of them had no idea that it might be a lythari, most of them having no idea what a lythari was. At this point, the player running the group cleric, having not met the character yet, points out . . . " I didn't know what a lythari was either, and I havent met you yet" and proceedes to pull out his brand new silver bastard sword.
Since my step son and step daughter were new, I cut them just a wee bit of slack . . . I had set up a cameo with Alias and Dragonbait in the corner, and since Dragonbait knew that the lythari wasn't evil, he and Alias interposed themselves, and Alias told the lythari to hightail it out the door, and she pretended to give chase in order to hunt down the "evil werewolf."
The lythari spend the rest of the time in Shadowdale in disguise, and ended up paying the half ogre monk to be his bodyguard until they left town, at which point she introduced him to the cleric. |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 27 Jun 2005 : 21:50:34
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I know my current players will hate me for this but the first one was more an amusing moment than through downright stupidity, the second was dangerous :)
Daleson the Paladin is in a grapple with a Shambling Mound (fire resistance 10 remember) and decides to cast heat metal on himself, to harm himself and the beast.
It didn't come off in the end but I would loved to have seen the look on Hammer's face when he cooked himself inside the armour and didn't bother the mound one bit :)
Secondly whilst this is going on Elussien our rogue is applying a nasty poison (Deathblade) onto a crossbow bolt, with the intention of firing into the fray.
Again luckily the beast died before hand or there would have been 2 possible results
1. Hits shambling mound, plant is immune to poison
2. Hits Daleson (50% chance), poisons him mightily :)
Sorry guys they were just moments that made me chuckle during the fight ;) |
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Vangelor
Learned Scribe
USA
183 Posts |
Posted - 28 Jun 2005 : 16:47:30
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Well, this isn't Realms specific (though there is no reason one could not run the module there) and it is extremely dated, but...
My first game, I was playing a thief (an elf, I think) and my friend the DM was taking me (yes, just two of us) through the module "The Keep on the Borderlands". (I told you this was dated!)
Well, not really knowing how to proceed - I had only barely grasped the concept of the game - I never discovered that there were caves for me to loot and monsters for me to fight. I began instead to systematically burgle the Keep. With a Level 1 character. I did not get very far.  |
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Vangelor
Learned Scribe
USA
183 Posts |
Posted - 28 Jun 2005 : 16:53:21
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quote:
Originally posted by Kaladorm
A friend and I were considering getting together and writing a list of 'Wish's gone wrong', by taking the words of the wish a little too literally.
Ah, yes! The Corrupted Wish is a seasoned staple for sadistic DMs. And deservedly so! |
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Thureen Buroch
Learned Scribe
169 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jun 2005 : 22:56:05
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I was DMing a quest that involved climbing down a volcano's shaft and exploring the caves inside. Well, one of the PCs decided to jump down ...
I'll say no more.
Another one: I was DMing a group of sixth graders once. Well, they got injured, and went back to town. They had been out searching for a ring. They went to the cleric, who knew about their quest, which happened to be a quest to find the culprit of a murder. The cleric asked them if they had found the ring. They lied and said yes. He realized they were lying and asked why they were lying, so they made the stupid mistake of pulling their weapons on a cleric who was sixth level, compared with their level one (or was it two, I can't remember) characters. Anyway, the character who was already severely injured got the brunt of a fire spell and died. Unfortunately, he got pissed and was about at the point of attacking me. |
Goblins? *Slash* *Scream* *Thunk* What goblins? |
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KnightErrantJR
Great Reader
USA
5402 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jul 2005 : 04:20:50
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My aforementioned Lythari player has struck again. After gleefully putting on a ring given to him by a Shadovar ambassador (the rings everyone else in the party took but put away in their packs until they could have them magically analysed), he went to Shadowdale, creating a conduit that shorted out any wards near Elminster's tower, thus allowing Nergal to open the rift that appears in Elminster in Hell.
After allowing the cleric of Helm to chop off his finger to get the ring off, the party was confronted with a very peeved Simbul . . . and he immediately shot a magic missle at her.
The party ended up banished to the Astral Plane (I didn't want to punish everyone for one player's . . . lack of wisdom) |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jul 2005 : 10:16:50
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| Lol shall we start a new thread for your Lythari? :) I get the feeling there's going to be a lot more posts |
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KnightErrantJR
Great Reader
USA
5402 Posts |
Posted - 01 Jul 2005 : 11:15:48
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| Oh goodness, I don't have to worry about the campaign not moving along with him around . . . |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 10 Jul 2005 : 01:30:25
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Another 'potentially' stupid moment.
As it happens we had a total party wipeout on this dragon but that's later in the story.
After setting off a trap in a dragons lair and being confronted with a very angry red dragon after procuring some of his stuff, we proceed to try and kill him.
Running out of ideas and life (and also running away, my brave brave rogue), I thought it would be an idea to try and activate this wand we'd found on the dragon.
Like he really needed a Bulls Strength :) |
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Reefy
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
892 Posts |
Posted - 10 Jul 2005 : 01:36:10
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quote:
Originally posted by Kaladorm
Another 'potentially' stupid moment.
As it happens we had a total party wipeout on this dragon but that's later in the story.
After setting off a trap in a dragons lair and being confronted with a very angry red dragon after procuring some of his stuff, we proceed to try and kill him.
Running out of ideas and life (and also running away, my brave brave rogue), I thought it would be an idea to try and activate this wand we'd found on the dragon.
Like he really needed a Bulls Strength :)
I hate to say it but poking around in a red dragon's lair is not the greatest idea if you want to live to see the grandchildren. Way to bring the campaign crashing down though. |
Life is either daring adventure or nothing. |
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Antareana
Seeker
Germany
59 Posts |
Posted - 11 Jul 2005 : 08:50:15
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hm... we were playing a high level adventure around the city of shade. My group have had contact with Shadow (an official audience) and felt unease about him. A short while later, one of the PCs, a tavern owner in Sigil, tried to scry Shadow a lot of times. of course it did not work, but Shadow became very angry because he had been disturbed in his monthly ceremony and so he gated the poor lad and asked what the fool wanted from him. He just said: I'd like to ask you whether I can open a tavern in your city. It would be a nice attraction for my planar customers.
You can imagine what happened to him   |
It is all just a past and future secret
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Macresto
Acolyte
Denmark
17 Posts |
Posted - 11 Jul 2005 : 13:09:06
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I have two great stories to tell:
First, several years ago we played a highlevel campaign (I don't remember much of stats and level and so on). We had to teleport our way out of a grim fight we could not win. But the spell went wrong and we found ourselves hanging high above the endless hordes of demons in some obscure plane watching as these demons marched against other demonkind in what I believe was/is called the bloodwars. Now we all had items to ensure our flight, so our problem was not staying in the air. As we all knew pretty well, a couple of these demons could kill us all, and being wounded and dried out of spells, maybe 1 of them could kill us. So we had to be extremely carefull not to alert them of our high-in-the-sky presence.
Our wizard then had an idea he did not find it necessary to discuss (silently) with the rest of us, and he polymorphed himself into a giganteous red dragon. I will never forget the total disbelief in every players eyes as he did so, neither the expression in my DM's face. We did manage to get away after that, but we had to fight around 10 demons. It was quite a laugh (and still is!!!)
The second story features the same player, but this time with me as DM. I ran a Campaign in Raveloft. In this story, we find the party in bad spirits, as one of them is infected with lycanthropy. I had more than hinted a couple of sessions earlier, that the Vistani had the ability to cure lycanthropy, so I believed that the character could return to his normal life afterwards. Again my very good friend played a powerfull wizard. Having said almost nothing for a number og sessions, apparently he saw this as his hour of triumph. He said to the party that he could solve the problem. Then he positioned himself in front of the infected character and began his magic. The party watched in silent awe - they knew he was very strong in the use of magic. Then suddenly the infested character exploded in a huge dustcloud and soon all that remained was some ashes. My good friend had simply disintegrated the poor character and spared his poor life so that he wouldn't suffer anymore.
After some moments with utter disbelief, we couldn't stop laughing.
After these two instances, my very good friend has never played wizard again. |
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Sir Luther Cromwell
Learned Scribe
Canada
158 Posts |
Posted - 11 Jul 2005 : 17:22:08
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Picture this. You're a gnomish wizard in a world which is known as the nightmare lands. You have to leave in the middle of the session to see your girlfriend, when as you go out the door the DM says that a very nasty nightmare creature has rolled a sucessful critical against you. The DM had also been playing around with some rules that day, one of which was that when someone rolled a critical hit he rolled a percentile die to see which body part the person would lose. As I entered the car, I was told that I lost my hands. Having lost all hope, I let my friend Taylor control the gnomish wizard.
Now, you would think they would have simply casted a spell without a somatic component. But no, they decided that it would be tactical to try and blind the opponent with my character's bloody stubs from losing his hands. The even funnier part being, it almost worked!
Another one is more of a conversation.
Player- "Does the name, Lord Sithington mean anything to you?"
NPC "No, why"
PLayer (on something somewhat legal)- "Hot didigy, shiznig dawg! Wazzup hot Mama, it's the apocalypse!"
NPC "Oh my god, he's speaking in tongues!"
The Character would then die from a failed attempt to exocise him.
And finally, my quote in itself is another story. |
"At what temperature does a Goblin boil?"
"Any Rakshasa should eat a healthy diet that is high in wood elf, and low in shield Dwarf. One must always watch those cholesterol levels."
"If a Svirfneblin falls in the underdark, does anybody care?" |
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Smirc
Acolyte
17 Posts |
Posted - 14 Jul 2005 : 02:02:37
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Ok so my group was playing the City of Spiders mod and the Rogue made the lucky (I think he had sneaked a peek at my book) deduction that there were vampires in the first building. He then uses a potion of gaseous form and sneaks inside. When the party breaks down the door he sucks up the three vampires with a magic bottle. He then decides its best if the cleric carries the bottle.
Two sessions later the cleric throws his pack at a charging monster (he was out of spells and hammers). The monster then proceeds to crush the bag underfoot, completely destroying the contents of the bag, including the bottle holding three really pissed off vampires. Needless to say no one survived.
Whenever my characters face a hard fight now they always say, "Hey lets bottle it and save it for latter."
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"We pity him. We hate him. We fear him—all because there is a little of him in each of us, though we admit it to ourselves only in the darkest part of the night."
—Justarius, Time of the Twins |
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Sir Luther Cromwell
Learned Scribe
Canada
158 Posts |
Posted - 14 Jul 2005 : 14:09:16
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| What I find funny is that there are no applications of the Enlarge spell in this scroll |
"At what temperature does a Goblin boil?"
"Any Rakshasa should eat a healthy diet that is high in wood elf, and low in shield Dwarf. One must always watch those cholesterol levels."
"If a Svirfneblin falls in the underdark, does anybody care?" |
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Faramicos
Senior Scribe
Denmark
468 Posts |
Posted - 14 Jul 2005 : 21:35:41
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| I was in a group some years ago and we ended up in the tomb of a mummy lord. The only way out was a riddle that could open a portal back to our home. Along with the riddle were 3 possible answers. After many "real time" hours of thinking about it we simply gave up. We chose a number at random and trusted in the mighty Tymora to aid us in our quest. She was deaf to our prayers... Instead of sending us home to our home, the portal opened the door to the Mummy lord and our doom was sealed. 2 of us died of pure fright on the spot and the third took up the fight... But after having his strength reduced to 3 by a curse, he wasnt any good and died right away... The fourth and final member of the party panicked and drew out a soulstone and threw it at the mummy in desperation... But as fate would it, on the mummys next attack it fumbled and there was a tiny opening for the last character... He tumbled a perfect roll of the die and rolled past the mummy and dived through the portal and into safety... So after many struggles he found himself home withou friends, and what bothered him the most... Without his soulstone. He could have kicked himself... |
"When dragons make war, worlds can only tremble in the shadow of angry wings" |
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KnightErrantJR
Great Reader
USA
5402 Posts |
Posted - 15 Jul 2005 : 01:09:30
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| My party's cleric regularly uses Enlarge to break up bar fights, so long as his wisdom score is still high enought to cast it. Though the best way he ever broke up a bar fight was using command to make a man urinate, thus causing him to run home to change his pants. |
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Faramicos
Senior Scribe
Denmark
468 Posts |
Posted - 15 Jul 2005 : 12:58:09
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| That kind of gaming is what makes RPG so much fun. Many magic users ussually just use their spells in the simplest form and not very creatively. But when they step out of the norm and makes some great combos of spells or use them creatively, then the realy cool gaming surfaces... And with that also some hilarious events... |
"When dragons make war, worlds can only tremble in the shadow of angry wings" |
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Stupidest thing a character has done
