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Sholnfete
Acolyte
USA
16 Posts |
 Posted - 08 Apr 2005 : 04:17:50
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I have alot of funny stories to share, all true, hope you enjoy!
First Scenario: Sea-faring campaign, I ran a party of 6. The party had found an undersea cove and wanted to explore around. Some of the PCs could breathe water already i.e. water genasi and half sea-elf. Anyway the wizard had a waterbreathing spell and he was unsure who could breathe water with all of the confusion of people talking and all so he took a hand count. He says, "All that can breathe water raise your hands," so all that obviously can do. Also, the chainmaster Korian (has a mind of a child) raises his hand too, this guy uses chains as armor and weapons and has the mindset of a 6 year-old (dances with inn keepers on rickety stairs, sleeps in front of fireplaces, and shows people his fish face). So the wizard casts his spells on those who need it excluding Korian and everyone jumps in the water. Suddenly the PCs notice Korian holding his breath underwater and sinking rapidly, not wanting their comrade to die they grab his arms and haul him to the cave entrance.
Second Scenario: Same campaign before undersea cavern in town. The party had just gotten to town and had fought a fierce battle overseas with pirates. They got payed for guarding the boat and decided to go to the nearest inn/tavern. Now, Korian also fancies himself a bard he's all fighter and has no skill points in any bard related skills. The barbarian (Pez Jr.), the rogue (Lantharion), and Korian all out fighter head to the tavern, rest of the party out buying supplies/gathering info. Korian starts singing about fighting pirates and everyone in the bar is cheering along hating pirates and suddenly the song changes to something vague about grasshopers. At this point Korian is singing enthusiastically and everyone's cheering slowly dies and smiles are replaced with confused looks. Suddenly Korian roles bad on a perform check and people get angry. In short Bar fight breaks out Pez Jr. rages and starts fighting people, Korian jumps through the window, and Lantharion merely left. Fight eventually subdued, the raging barbarian raged over to the house across the street and started to destroy it. Guards come, with a wizard, and Pez Jr. got imprisoned. While in jail Pez Jr. attempts to barter with the guards and says he saw a drow (ranger in party) he told them to confirm it with his friend a little guy wrapped in chains. A guard goes and checks it out, he finds Korian and asks him about seeing a drow. Korian nods and says it was about 16 ft. in heighth and it was dual-wielding trees. Guard comes back with finds and Pez Jr. says ah well and bribes them with gold.
Third Scenario (last): Swamp campaign, I ran a party of 3, a human psion/sorcerer, a half-satyr rogue, and a half-giant fighter. A very odd group the psion (Cantrus) had power over the half-giant (Red) and he always picked on the half fey (Raphael). Raphael met up with the other two in the swamp and wanted to join their party, to prove his worth he told them he could test for magic the other two didn't believe them but let him join anyway. Later... Red being bored in the hick town decided to venture off and ran into a leechwalker (very nasty monster) and killed it after so many rounds. His companions found him and no one wanted to search the monster for any drops, so Red volunteered Raphael to 'test' for magic then shoved his face into the gooey remains of the leechwalker. Raphael found out that leechwalkers aren't magic. Thereafter it was called tasting for magic, later one of Red's maces broke and he got a replacement shocking mace +1. Red, being not so smart, wanted Raphael to test it's magic, Raphael wasn't given much time until a shocking mace +1 was shoved into his mouth electrocuting the poor creature. Red then smiled and asked Raphael if it was magic, Raphael being paralyzed didn't respond, so Red kicked him.
Well, that's some of the stories I have, i found it's very difficult to run a campaign with this going on but nonetheless it was fun. |
We live in a bleak world my friend, where heroes are few and shadows stalk us from every corner. |
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Beowulf
Learned Scribe
Canada
322 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2005 : 17:27:36
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After being hauled into a Detention Centre in Zhentil Keep, the PC, a priest of Lathander, fearful of their reaction to his goody-two-shoes-priestliness tells his "presumably" evil interrogators that he is secretly a member of the Cult of the Dragon and has only been posing as a priest of Lathander.  |
"Ill tempered the wretch, who laughs at everyone. He cannot recognize, as he should, that he is not without faults." the High One, Poetic Edda |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2005 : 22:36:12
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 I wonder who would have been killed quicker, priest of lathander or member of the cult :)
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 10 Apr 2005 : 22:44:09
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Ok I have another one.
We're in a frost giant cave, 'persuading' the frost giants not to join up with Oboulds orcs (by killing them  )
Whilst sneaking around what we deemed to be the guard room, my rogue managed to catch some attention, and 17 guards edged in towards him.
Given he has a good reflex save (and it would have looked so call) I demanded that the wizard fireball me! A great plan except for some bad dice rolling, 17 dead guards and one very injured Darkblade.
A few potions of cure moderate wounds later, Darkblade is realising how hard these frost giants are, and decides to apply some medium spider venom poison to his weapons to help in the fights, fully knowing there was a 5% of poisoning himself.
Now what are the chances of rolling 2 1's on 2 d20s?  Darkblade is now as strong as your average dog.
Later on in aforementioned dungeon, we find one of the giants rooms, fully equipped with giant sized tents, tankards etc.
The halfling druid (who has a knack for collecting 'everything' we find) decided to pick up the tankard. Given that the halfling had been aged by a ghost dragon and was slightly stronger than a cat (but with a charisma of 19) he couldn't stand a chance of lifting it.
Annoyed with his actions Darkblade warned him that if Milo Tosscobble (druid) picked up the tankard then he would stab him.
Milo proceeded to pick up the tankard and a fight ensued. When the elf of our party attempted to break up the fight, our charismatic and wise druid spat in his friends face, and was shortly knocked unconscious (as well as his bear) by our angry female dwarf battlerager
Milo spent the rest of the adventure unconscious in our magical bag, which contains a secure shelter inside |
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Reefy
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
892 Posts |
Posted - 11 Apr 2005 : 13:29:01
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| The sudden realisation from the previous story that 'Hey, we're beating up a really old man who's about three feet tall - is this right?' was also fairly humourous. |
Life is either daring adventure or nothing. |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2005 : 02:47:50
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| That or the fact that there were two party members scrapping, who had the strength of house pets |
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Tanyn Midrain
Acolyte
Sweden
27 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2005 : 06:21:06
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Our party was facing off against a beefed-up gray render. A small boy had just been struck by the monster, and we did not know if the guy was dead or just unconscious.
The sorcerer in our party, notorious for making a mess, tried a lightning bolt, not thinking that the small boy lay in front of the render, thus being in the line of fire.
Our dm's respons after he rolled the dmg: "...and the boy drops down to -34hp"
Stating the obvious, but the boy was alive at - 5hp when the battle started.
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Wood Elf Ranger
Senior Scribe
USA
627 Posts |
Posted - 12 Apr 2005 : 14:12:38
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In reply to Kaladorm:
I bet the halfling was planning that all along. A life of ease within the parties magical bag where he can have all the junk they throw in there. Especially if he got to take the giant sized keg with him  |
~Lee N.
"Breaktime yes?!.. Yes?.. Maybe?.. Noo, baaack to work.." -Grovel the Goblin from NWN: HotU |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 22 Apr 2005 : 19:42:20
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| I should really get a copy of the infamous 'Gazebo' story to put on here :D |
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SiriusBlack
Great Reader
USA
5517 Posts |
Posted - 22 Apr 2005 : 19:46:52
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quote:
Originally posted by Kaladorm
I should really get a copy of the infamous 'Gazebo' story to put on here :D
That is a classic piece.  |
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KnightErrantJR
Great Reader
USA
5402 Posts |
Posted - 27 Apr 2005 : 23:43:45
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Our group was playing in Kara-Tur, as a clan of Ninja. We always had an extra spot open for our friends in school that would not play regularly, but just popped in from time to time.
We took a mission to kill an evil Daimyo in Wa, and we paired up. My bushi/ninja and the regular yakuza/ninja, and the fill in yakuza/ninja, and the regular wu-jen/ninja.
After we had silently dispatched several of the guards, our fill in friend chimed in with . . . "can we kill each other?"
My friend, the DM, made the mistake of saying, "well, you could, but . . ."
The fill in yakuza killed the wu-jen, then took off out of the house with all the stuff he could haul.
My bushi and the other yakuza run into the daimyo, who was actually an ogre mage that had killed and replaced the rightful ruler. The yakuza died, I barely survived, then proceded to track down and kill the other yakuza.
My bushi then went off to a monestary and became a shukenja . . . |
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Xysma
Master of Realmslore
USA
1089 Posts |
Posted - 04 May 2005 : 19:26:13
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| My namesake character, Xysma, is a slightly insane tiefling rogue/cleric of Kossuth/ Fire Elemental Archon. When I say slighly insane, I'm being generous. Anyway, Xysma, and some of his adventuring companions came across an old red dragon who was in a bad mood and ready to fight. I wasn't too worried about the breath weapon, but this dragon was exceptionally powerful, so his melee attacks were killers. Using my slippers of spider climbing and a high climb check, I managed to scale the beast, then I proceeded to sovereign glue myself to the back of the creature, effectively eliminating his claw attacks, and providing me with cover for his bite and tail slap. Looking back on it, this was a stupid idea that could have gone horribly wrong. But, as it turns out, having a tiefling glued to your back is sufficiently annoying to a red dragon to warrant its full attention, allowing the other party members to survive the encounter long enough to kill the beast. Unfortunately, I had no universal solvent, so I had to leave my slippers and pants glued to the dead beast, and wander barefoot and pantless through Faerun for a few days. |
War to slay, not to fight long and glorious.
Aermhar of the Tangletrees
Year of the Hooded Falcon
Xysma's Gallery
Guide to the Tomes and Tales of the Realms download from Candlekeep
Anthologies and Tales Overviews
Check out my custom action figures, hand-painted miniatures, gaming products, and other stuff on eBay.
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KnightErrantJR
Great Reader
USA
5402 Posts |
Posted - 04 May 2005 : 20:44:27
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| Barefoot and Pantless . . . sounds like a good title for a novel . . . |
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Xysma
Master of Realmslore
USA
1089 Posts |
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Chosen of Moradin
Master of Realmslore
Brazil
1120 Posts |
Posted - 04 May 2005 : 21:03:05
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quote:
Barefoot and Pantless . . . sounds like a good title for a novel . . .
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Dwarf, DM, husband, and proud of this! :P
twitter: @yuripeixoto
Facebook: yuri.peixoto |
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Fletcher
Learned Scribe
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 04 May 2005 : 23:19:02
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I think one of my favorite "What were you THINKING?!" moments happened some years ago. The party of 7 3rd and 4th level PC's having found the location of the slavers in the city decide to surprise them and try to capture them and turn them in to the authorities.
Well upon opening the door, the part noticed they were outnumbered about 3 to one.
Melee ensues. The PC’s are doing a fair job of losing, and decide that upon the second party member going to 0HP that retreat is the viable option.
The parties Cleric who happens to be the most heavily armored stands and blocks the door for two rounds while everyone else scatters and runs to the safe house. After successfully casting a hold person on a pair of slavers directly in the doorway the cleric runs away.
Upon regrouping they notice that they are short 1 party member. The strong half/elf fighter/rogue is missing. So healing up a couple people in the party they start to plan to enact a rescue.
Meanwhile back at the slaver hide out, they have captured, stripped and beaten into unconsciousness the poor PC. He wakes up in a small closed room, completely nude and covered in sores. (3 hp remaining). He makes a few CON and STR checks and manages to break loose one of the bars in the window. Climbing out he realizes that the slavers haven’t even bothered to move him from the building.
Enraged by their arrogance, he grabbed the two foot long metal bar in his hands and marched through the front door. Much to the amazement of the slavers. He even managed a couple of powerful blows knocking a couple of them sprawling before he was subdued and beaten a second time.
Along comes the rest of the party and fully prepared engages the now severely battered slavers. A mixed combat where the PC’s stuck together ends in a stalemate, where they promise to leave for 24 hours if they have their comrade returned to them.
When the half elf is brought out, they are horrified to see that his left hand has been severed, and a still oozing stump is wrapped in a filthy bandage. Seeing his friends, the half elf snatches the dagger from the belt of one of his guards and stabs him with it. The guards react in understandable fashion and kill the half elf. The look on the players face when he heard he was killed was awesome. The plaintive ‘What?’ that followed was even better.
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Run faster! The Kobolds are catching up! |
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Bendal
Seeker
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 08 May 2005 : 16:51:01
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One of the parties in a game I was DM'ing had a ranger in it who was my roommate in college. After a huge fight that killed 2/3 of the party, he discovered a ring of three wishes, and used it bring everyone in the room back to life.
Everyone.
So, they had to fight all over again. Somehow the ranger survived again, and this time used another wish to bring only HIS party back to life.
He wasn't through, though. He wanted to use that last wish, so he said these exact words: "I wish to make a wish."
I looked up and said "OK, you just did." I don't think his party ever forgave him for doing that. |
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SiriusBlack
Great Reader
USA
5517 Posts |
Posted - 08 May 2005 : 17:04:12
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quote:
Originally posted by Bendal
He wasn't through, though. He wanted to use that last wish, so he said these exact words: "I wish to make a wish."
I looked up and said "OK, you just did." I don't think his party ever forgave him for doing that.
Ah, I wonder how many times a player's use/misuse of language has resulted in such moments. |
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Reefy
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
892 Posts |
Posted - 09 May 2005 : 13:15:20
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quote:
Originally posted by SiriusBlack
quote:
Originally posted by Bendal
He wasn't through, though. He wanted to use that last wish, so he said these exact words: "I wish to make a wish."
I looked up and said "OK, you just did." I don't think his party ever forgave him for doing that.
Ah, I wonder how many times a player's use/misuse of language has resulted in such moments.
Probably enough to keep this thread going a while longer. |
Life is either daring adventure or nothing. |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 09 May 2005 : 14:40:25
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A friend and I were considering getting together and writing a list of 'Wish's gone wrong', by taking the words of the wish a little too literally.
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36804 Posts |
Posted - 09 May 2005 : 17:25:30
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quote:
Originally posted by SiriusBlack
quote:
Originally posted by Bendal
He wasn't through, though. He wanted to use that last wish, so he said these exact words: "I wish to make a wish."
I looked up and said "OK, you just did." I don't think his party ever forgave him for doing that.
Ah, I wonder how many times a player's use/misuse of language has resulted in such moments.
There was one time, when I was playing my minotaur fighter, that I used the wrong word to describe my actions... What I was trying to say was "I'm pulling out my big ol' axe!"
However...
The word that I actually said does begin with "a" and is a three-letter word, but it totally changed the intent of the sentence!  
I have had to deal with many, many jokes about that one.  |
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Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
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I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen! |
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Bendal
Seeker
USA
54 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2005 : 14:59:42
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My college weekends were often taken completely up with DM'ing a very odd group of players.
There were the Dwarven "-lot" brothers, Belchalot, Barfalot, Drinkalot, and Brawlalot, all run by the same player and introduced one at a time as they fell in battle.
A priest who got physically ill over seeing bits of steel penetrating flesh (so did the player). He hated falling into pits with spikes!
A ranger who wasn't the brightest star in the heavens (he of the "I wish to make a wish" story)
A wizard whose goal in life was to acquire every single coin she found, whether it was copper or platinum. Visualizing her with three Tenser's Disks following behind her was hilarious!
A halfling rogue with...different...ideas of sexuality.
A fighter who couldn't help herself when it came to practical jokes, like glueing the ranger's sword into his scabbard while he slept.
Their adventures were legendary back in the early 80's, often lasting until the sun came up the next morning! |
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Kaladorm
Master of Realmslore
United Kingdom
1176 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2005 : 15:17:45
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I can't believe I'd forgotten this story until now :D
My first serious D&D character, when we'd just got int 3E.
Dondelly Loresinger, the famous halfling bard. Bless his cotton socks.
Probably not the best idea giving a halfling bard a whip and using him to make trip attacks, at the time though it seemed the best idea ever!
We end up fighting an orc leader, Dondelly flicks his whip and lashes it around the orc leader, hoping to trip him.
The orc leader (unsurprisingly) manages to instead trip the Halfling, who after the violent fall, dies.  |
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Reefy
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
892 Posts |
Posted - 14 May 2005 : 21:08:08
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Awesome story, Wooly.
Kal, yep, we remember that one. |
Life is either daring adventure or nothing. |
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Iliphar1
Learned Scribe
Austria
133 Posts |
Posted - 15 May 2005 : 13:46:28
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have one funny story (for DM)
It all started with the PCs travelling in an Hills Giant infested area - at night. Bevore they left a fort the party's mage got himself completely drunken.
Walking I told the party that they can hardly see anything and made them stumble at rocks, miss the trail and things like that. They still would continue but to make the path easier they lighted laterns...
... strangely enough, the hills giants had seen them and prepared an ambush. The party virtually stood no chance against those giants throwing rocks from the dark (still not extingushing the laterns...), but the mage (with his spell failure chance of 40% due to his condition) had come up with the idea, that he could conjure a rope trick so save the party. The druid in the party shapechanged into a bird and fled. (note: he also posessed a bag of holding!) The party managed to flee into the rope trick to heal themselves, when the mage contacted the druid to fly into the rope trick to contribute some healing spells.
He did so... When I handed over to the druid the "Players Options High level campaig explaining the effects of one extradimensional into another he got paler and paler with reading it...
In the end the party was sucked trough an anomality in reality into the Astral Plane, where the whole party lost all (!) their items - except the druid (50% chance to have all your possessions scatterd in the Astral) |
'You see dead bones? ... I see an army!' Ezechiel 37 |
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Fletcher
Learned Scribe
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 16 May 2005 : 22:05:23
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This is from an online comic. I have so often seen something like this in a game that i bookmarked it. I don't know how many times I have described a huge monster only to have the bard/gnome/rogue or 'I'm invincible' player walk up and anger it.
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=000223
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Run faster! The Kobolds are catching up! |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36804 Posts |
Posted - 16 May 2005 : 23:06:09
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quote:
Originally posted by Fletcher
This is from an online comic. I have so often seen something like this in a game that i bookmarked it. I don't know how many times I have described a huge monster only to have the bard/gnome/rogue or 'I'm invincible' player walk up and anger it.
http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=000223
Reakk is not known for his intelligence... Remember when they convinced him to climb into a microwave oven?
I wonder what Bun-Bun's stats would be in 3.x...  |
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Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen! |
Edited by - Wooly Rupert on 16 May 2005 23:06:33 |
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Iliphar1
Learned Scribe
Austria
133 Posts |
Posted - 17 May 2005 : 20:00:30
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have another one:
A friend of mine bought the Diablo Setting and wanted to play a Sorceress... (bad idea, I allowed it without checking it before....)
it ended that he was invincible (mana shield, glacial spike etc.) and went headlong into an enemy army, assuming that nothing ever could hurt him.
Until a 3rd level priest cast hold person... |
'You see dead bones? ... I see an army!' Ezechiel 37 |
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dracochapel
Acolyte
Australia
2 Posts |
Posted - 18 May 2005 : 07:12:45
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Teleporting to Szass Tam's mountain fortress cause i wanted to betray the party. (the Simbul had angered my character by summarily executing several shadows that i had befriended - the character was an athasian shadow wizard) The DM didnt like that i had a 7 step betrayal plan to get the party killed, and thus the simbuls plan would fail.
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Fletcher
Learned Scribe
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 18 May 2005 : 16:48:10
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Played the Against the Giants module two levels too low. OMG we got pounded.
Quotes of the game were from the giants... "Fighter on a stick! Fighter on a stick!"
and from 2 giants each holding a leg of the NPC fighter "OK make a wish...pull!"
The GM "Damn but I love bowling for PC's" "Lucky for your its only a two dozen drow and a dragon."
The Dragon "Mom you were right! Those armored guys are better than popcorn!"
And the PC's while hiding in a dark hole. "Oh, crap...run away!" |
Run faster! The Kobolds are catching up! |
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Stupidest thing a character has done
