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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
 Posted - 30 Jan 2011 : 06:13:31
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So, I've done a lot of RP'ing with this character, both at the table, and on-line, and since he's currently wandering the Realms (It's not his home-world, but he fits in quite well on Toril!) I thought I'd tell his tale here. Or at least link folks to it to see what they think. I may also include the second tale at some point, as it stems directly from the first. Both of these tie directly into my home campaigns, so they are not just stories, but background material for the campaigns, as well.
Anywho, I present this here in the hopes that others might enjoy. (Yes, I know that I have a link to some of this in my profile, but I doubt it gets noticed there....) Be warned, however- some of the material therein is "mature". So if such content offends thee- read not.
Link: http://www.eilistraee.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=24172#24172
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The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.
"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491
"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs
Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469
My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188
Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31799 Posts |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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Crossed Arrows
Acolyte
USA
13 Posts |
Posted - 02 Feb 2011 : 04:21:27
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About halfway through: at the part where he swims after the ship leaving the cave harbor.
Pretty good. What world is this? Its not part of Faerun, correct? |
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Ayrik
Great Reader
Canada
7989 Posts |
Posted - 02 Feb 2011 : 04:31:33
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The first line presents a calendar entry dated 19,483 A.S.
The last line refers to the silvered light of two moons.
I don't think it's set in Faerūn. Of course I haven't yet read any of the other lines, lol. |
[/Ayrik] |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
Posted - 06 Feb 2011 : 20:21:47
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You are both correct. I've been RP'ing the character (as an adult) in Faerun, but the world in the story is my own homebrew one, which is why the dates and the multiple moons. (There are actually three, but one is dark so rarely gets seen unless it is out during the day or passes in front of something else: ie- stars or one of the other moons.)
The world is called Asharra, and the part where the story takes place is an island cluster known as Argonia. (No, not the one from Morrowind or Oblivion, lol! I actually came up with the name LONG before I knew anything about the Elder Scrolls games.) The gods are also slightly altered, as one can see in the opening scene in the "Childhood" chapter in the family temple. This is NOT the Lolth we are all familiar with- she's much nastier and scarier....
Anywho, thanks for the reads, guys, and feel free to offer any criticisms, praise, or comments, as this is a work in progress. The version there is the first draft, so there have been a few changes, but mostly to add details or fix minor gaffes, so what you see is pretty close to what I have currently. |
The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.
"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491
"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs
Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469
My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188
Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u |
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Ayrik
Great Reader
Canada
7989 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2011 : 02:07:16
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Alystra, your writing style is more eloquently concise than mine. I have a tendency to blather on with redundant adjectives.
What I've read so far is entertaining (the thread-forum page format is a bit of an awkward slowdown; but that's the medium, not the content). My only real issue with the content is that it's a too saturated with icky dark elf types for my tastes  .
You do a great job of "personalizing" your characters with different speech patterns, though I notice the tone and emphasis sometimes carries into the non-dialogue text a bit, so the descriptors and narrative immediately surrounding the dialogue segments sometimes seems like it's being pieced together by different people/viewpoints.
I'm not an author myself, English isn't even my native language, lol, so my criticism is somewhat unqualified. |
[/Ayrik] |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2011 : 02:41:41
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Oh, no, not at all. Actually, I appreciate the input. The thread-forum page format is primarily due to- well, the fact that it was posted in the story forum of an FR-related site. (and yes, it's drow-based.) It is a much easier read in the text format I normally use, though.
I take it you're not enamored of dark elves? Understandable; as I mentioned at the top, it might not be for everyone, particularly those who are squeamish about certain subjects, but that's a side-issue. I tried to tailor some of the narrative to the viewpoints of the people involved, to show some of their inner thoughts, especially some of the more important characters. Morganna especially, as she is a very important figure later on in the "sequel" story, and is a sort of dark foil to the main character's views. The hardest part so far has been trying to get the personalities of so many different characters across without them becoming boring or blending into each other. And the society's dynamics and social interactions, of course. I took a lot of inspiration from Salvatore and Cunningham, obviously, but most of it is purely my own vision of drow. Glad you're liking it so far! |
The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.
"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491
"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs
Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469
My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188
Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u |
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Ayrik
Great Reader
Canada
7989 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2011 : 02:49:10
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| I assume you've read Ed's non-FR Niflheim novels? If so, any thoughts about how they compare against Realmslore? |
[/Ayrik] |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2011 : 03:33:19
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| I've read the first one (in fact, I just finished it over the past week while we were snowed in), and I liked it. I thought the take on dark elves was interesting and their obsession with beauty or "perfection" (at least for the ones from the main city in the book) was very appropriate to how they've been depicted over the years. Not sure if it's accurate to Norse lore, but I loved some of the characters. Haven't had a chance to read the other books yet, but I'm definitely going to get them! I did like the different gods, and their less sadistic way of thinking. I feel like he kept a lot of what makes them so fascinating, without too much of the religious overtones that Realms dark elves always seem to have. |
The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.
"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491
"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs
Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469
My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188
Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u |
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Ayrik
Great Reader
Canada
7989 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2011 : 04:20:32
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Norse lore is an even bigger mess than D&D lore. It was primarily recorded by Christian missionaries (who brought writing to a largely oral-tradition society), though a few original (or at least very old) Norse artifacts and records still remain. The Christians of the time had an unfortunate habit of aggressively "retconning" local religions for compatibility. The Norse slowly embraced Christianity and constantly adapted elements from their old and new religions in an evolving process over many lifetimes, at varying rates among separated Norse peoples. Then the Norse lore suffered countless anti-pagan revisions (and well-intentioned scholarly meddling) over subsequent centuries as those busy monks always conformed with current official church doctrines. Thus many Norse deities became a few Norse deities, and they and their surrounding mythology became largely similar to the classic mythologies already known to Church-educated literates, and the lore fell from memory into history into legend into myth, suffering from purges and alterations at each step.
Much the same thing happened to Celtic mythology, as a dozen conflicting "canon" versions of King Arthur's tale or the Holy Grail can attest. Elements of semi-isolated local religions were recorded at different times and places, then revised and correlated again and again at different times (under differing editorial guidelines), all while the local religion itself (and indeed, Christianity) was slowly changing at an uneven pace.
I should probably mention that "Norse" referred to countless tribes, nations, and ethnic groups scattered across all the coasts of northern Europe, while "Celtic" basically means everybody else in Europe who wasn't Roman. These two "separate" religions are condensed from a larger mix of intermediate beliefs that stretched across all of Europe, no sharp Norse-Celtic division or border existed. All of these people (or at least elements of their cultures) moved and mixed around like a churning pool of water.
So Norse (and Celtic) mythology is incomplete and bastardized at best, and the "official" Norse lore about Niflheim is pretty much whichever version or bits and pieces you prefer. |
[/Ayrik] |
Edited by - Ayrik on 07 Feb 2011 04:42:10 |
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Crossed Arrows
Acolyte
USA
13 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2011 : 04:24:15
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I thought I was halfway through. Didn't realize there was 8 more pages. I am finished with page 1.
Not bad so far. I haven't read anything on Dark Elves since I stopped reading Drizzt's saga after "One thousand Orcs". Just didn't have much time any longer.
I'll start page 2 tomorrow. |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2011 : 05:18:26
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Arik, just wanted to say- you're preaching to the choir, my friend. I've read extensively in Euorpean mythologies, especially Greek, Roman, and Celtic, so, yeah, I was aware of the mess that their myths became. The earliest ones I've read are considerably darker than some of the more "sanitized" versions the monks wrote about. The interesting thing is that much of the folklore is much less tampered with, as many of those stories were passed down orally even after the Christians came in- often in their older forms- and were written down much later without the Christian bits added in or changed. I'm Wiccan myself, so I've had a heavy interest in ancient lore and myths as part of that practice, which I think also lends a much more personal perspective to those studies. In other words, I try to dig into the mess an find that parts that appear to be the oldest and piece together the original tales. It's an interesting study in itself, even WITHOUT having a more personal connection to the meaning of the lore.
Crossed Arrows, thanks for reading along so far, and I'm hoping you enjoy it, especially since the next few pages (I see where you're at and hope you don't get turned off by some of the erm, not-so-nice parts.) are going to get a bit darker. This was something that actually had me worried when writing it, as I realize that some people are uncomfortable with certain elements that I've included- namely, the treatment of males (Drizzt had it easy!), family dynamics in a House divided sharply in power structure, and the issue of slaves in particular. Of course, I also did a lot of thinking about how such a House- and the society it evolved in- would work on a day-to-day basis, especially outside the religious part. There's a power struggle going on between the lad's parents, which is part of the reason he gets so often ignored early on, except when one of them wants to use him against the other. Makes for a lot of tension and confusion between the characters, I hope. |
The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.
"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491
"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs
Lothir's character background/stats: http://forum.candlekeep.com/pop_profile.asp?mode=display&id=5469
My stories:
http://z3.invisionfree.com/Mickeys_Comic_Tavern/index.php?showforum=188
Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u |
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Ayrik
Great Reader
Canada
7989 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2011 : 05:29:50
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Actually, from I've read so far, your tale isn't as dark as that of Erevis Cale. Most certainly not as dark as that of (non-Realms) character Avery Cates.
I've always had a distinct fondness for Slavic mythology, though I'll settle for Euro-Indo paganism of any flavour. As you say, much of the "unrecorded" folklore remains surprisingly intact. 'Tis the Sarmartian/Scythian blood that (I'd like to pretend) runs in my mongrel veins. |
[/Ayrik] |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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DArksong: A Bard's Tale
