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JSaysNo
Acolyte
USA
1 Posts |
 Posted - 19 Sep 2007 : 16:18:00
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I'm new here so I figured I'd start a topic on something I've witnessed a lot of: stupid stuff players have attempted or tried to do. I'd also like to hear from some others here and maybe make a few friends.
1. The Ranger Nature Loved
The first one was was a drow fanatic (too many Drizzt books you see) and after our vindictive DM turned him into a female moon elf and left him in a cave full of drow for a month or three he got dropped into a village essentially naked after being turned back. He decided he wanted to get some clothes so he snuck up behind this cleric of Pelor and brained him with a rock, accidentally killing him in the process. All this witnessed by a villager.
Then, instead of explaining what had happened he takes off into the africa-like grasslands after killing another villager 'defending' himself. Later he tries to climb a tree to get his bearings where a snake ends up wrapping around his arm, breaking it. He then befriends it with a spell and promptly falls out of the tree.
A short while later he comes across a female lion and her cubs. He actually remembers to cast the spell before she attacks effecting them all.
His plan from there?
1) Find a rhino
2) Kill said rhino and somehow skin it
3) Walk to a town and have it made into armor (no money- practically naked mind you)
4) Profit!!
We eventually helped him after about a half-dozen or so times of him not listening to us. Meh.
Now it's your turn guys! Make me giggle! 
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"No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country.
He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."
-General George S. Patton Jr. |
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Alisttair
Great Reader
Canada
3054 Posts |
Posted - 19 Sep 2007 : 16:43:09
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| Well a party full of Dwarves, one who fell down a 30 foot pit. Now the others threw a rope down to pull him up. Their mistake was that they laughed at him, so the one down the pit, using his Strength that was up to 26 I think with Magic Items, decided to Pull the lot of them into the pit with him. He who laughs last, laughs best. They were all brothers too. |
Karsite Arcanar (Most Holy Servant of Karsus)
Anauria - Survivor State of Netheril as penned by me:
http://www.dmsguild.com/m/product/172023 |
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Brynweir
Senior Scribe
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - 25 Sep 2007 : 02:07:52
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| I don't know about stupid, but it sure was annoying when our DM let one of the guys bring in his "friend" who was a vampire. He carried him around as smoke in an opaque vial around his neck. The two were obnoxious together and they pretty much prevented anyone else (all first to third level characters) from gaining much in the way of XP. I got fed up because the DM indulged them, so I stole the vial. The vampire hasn't been seen since. |
Anyone who likes to read something that's really dark and gritty and completely awesome ought to read The Night Angel Trilogy by Brent Weeks. You can check out a little taste at www.BrentWeeks.com I should probably warn you, though, that it is definitely not PG-13 :-D
He also started a new Trilogy with Black Prism, which may even surpass the Night Angel Trilogy in its awesomeness. 
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Aerik DeVallo
Seeker
USA
87 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 01:21:07
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Playing a half elven wizard, my friends and I (A druid, a fighter, a rogue, and I the wizard) were beset by undead. The battle was going terrible. I was out of spells to cast, so taking in the general lay out, I managed to push over a very big dead tree (rolled a really good STR check). The fall of the tree crushed all but one of the skeletons, who was fighting with the fighter, who was at the very edge of the path. I made a charge down the dead tree and shoulder tackled the skeleton, destroying it. Many drinks were bought for Myrimon the Red after that encounter lol 
And very good move on your part, Bryn. Would have done the same thing. |
Edited by - Aerik DeVallo on 29 Jul 2009 01:21:43 |
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Lady Fellshot
Senior Scribe
USA
379 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 07:23:32
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We once had a seafaring game and the party (three level 5 players) managed to spot a rather annoyed kracken heading in their direction after salvaging a shipwreck.
After doing everything to keep the monster from coming near us and failing (we had utterly no intention of fighting it and felt that "running away" was an excellent option), the water genasi first mate (played by me) had the brilliantly stupid idea of dropping the anchor and cutting the anchor chain so that the anchor and most of the chain would hit the kracken and our ship would be lighter and easier to sail away quicker.
"I attack the kracken."
"With what?"
"The anchor."
Two very fortunate d20 rolls later, the kraken had a headache and had turned back and we were hastily making our way for a harbor. getting moored with no anchor was really interesting though... |
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Jakk
Great Reader
Canada
2165 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 16:07:43
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Brynweir: Nice move. Also: re: your sig: Check out the "Prince of Nothing" trilogy by R. Scott Bakker for what I thought was the same kind of awesome. He's Canadian, tho, so it's possible I'm biased. Still, worth a look. I'll definitely check out Brent Weeks; thanks for the tip.
Lady Fellshot: I've never tried to anchor a kraken before. Good to hear that it worked for you. 
Re: topic: This is more circumstantial bad luck than stupidity, but there's certainly some of that too. Back in 2E, our party was exploring the Haunted Halls and the gnomish fighter/thief was leading the way (at his own insistence). Entering a new room, he hears the elven ranger (second in line) say "Don't forget to check the ceiling..." and he looks up just in time for the green slime to fall on his face. The half-elven thief responds reflexively with Greek fire, which got rid of the green slime... and most of the gnome's face. The gnome's player promptly changed his Physical Description section of the character sheet to read: "Hair: No. Skin: Some. Eyes: Maybe." I (the DM) said, "You know there's gonna be a Charisma penalty for that until you get it magically healed... not to mention a chance of blindness." The player responded with "Yeah, I'm thinking -4" (which in 1E/2E was huge; in his case it turned a zero adjustment into a -3, IIRC), which was exactly what I'd been thinking... fortunately, he was not blinded, and so he never did get the scars magically healed. He was quite proud of being the ugliest gnome in Cormyr. The Charisma penalty gradually dissipated as the party advanced in level and their fame grew (1 point per two levels); I figured that stories of the heroism of the "scarred gnome" would be enough to counteract the scars themselves, at least after the initial encounter with someone new, which continued with the original penalty. |
Playing in the Realms since the Old Grey Box (1987)... and *still* having fun with material published before 2008, despite the NDA'd lore.
If it's comparable in power with non-magical abilities, it's not magic. |
Edited by - Jakk on 29 Jul 2009 16:10:55 |
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wintermute27
Learned Scribe
USA
179 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 18:17:26
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There was once a player in my group that that a very, shall we say, World of Warcraft style of play. There was an instance of him running through a haunted building opening all the doors to "draw out" the enemies. The place was full of Shadows. It didn't work.
But the story I wanted to tell of this individual involves a profound moment of stupid. It was at the end of the session and the group had gone back to Baldur's Gate for supplies. As most of the players were packing up and getting ready to leave, he asked if he could do a solo bounty hunter mission (he recently got some levels in Assassin). So I directed him to a local outpost of the Flaming Fist. Turns out there was a thief who had killed some of the guards in an escape attempt. So naturally they were pissed and wanted him back, dead or alive.
First, he went looking around the docks trying to dig up some info. After he found who one of the "mark's" friends was he went out and decided to kidnap and torture the man for information. Once he found where the "mark" was hiding out (at a relative's inn, a day's ride out of town) he killed the informant and took his head(?!). He then went to the small town and started to stake out the inn. Inside there were 3 people: The barkeeper and two drunks.
First, he decided to disable the drunks with a sleep spell. Then he tried to knock out the woman tending the bar, but pulled a critical fumble on his attack roll with the sap. After a tussle by the bar he managed to knock out the woman and was tying her up when her husband came out to see what all the racket was. Here he managed to make his sneak attack and knocked the guy out in one hit. At this point he decided to slit the man's throat in an attempt to intimidate the woman. I told him that it didn't work, and when he asked why, I simply told him that she was unconscious and couldn't see it, so he cut her throat too (and for good measure, the drunks in the bar). After collecting their heads(?!) and deciding that this was a good time to bar the front door, he went to the back room to find his intended "mark".
At this moment he displayed a rare bit of intelligence and decided to use his disguise skill with an alter self to look like the man from the inn. He went upstairs and found the room where the "mark" was staying and managed to pull off his disguise. Unfortunately, he felt that he was unable to sneak attack someone in the face, so he spent several minutes trying to get behind the guy to stab him in the back. This caused the "mark" to get suspicious and a fight broke out. After collecting the last head(?!) he went back to Baldur's Gate to collect his reward.
He turned in the head at the Flaming Fist Outpost and after collecting his reward, decided to impress the guy by pulling out each of the heads he had collected during his little adventure, plopped them down on the counter, and told of how he slew each of these for their involvement in hiding the criminal. Shouldn't he get a little extra for his work? At this point they arrested him and the rest of the party had to spend time breaking him out of jail at the start of the next game. |
My Current Campaign: The Adventures of the Stonelanders |
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Ashe Ravenheart
Great Reader
USA
3249 Posts |
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Brynweir
Senior Scribe
USA
436 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 20:37:40
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| Same here. He'd have been left to get out on his own or not. I've played characters that did stupid things... and when I willingly did them, I was prepared to accept the consequences. |
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wintermute27
Learned Scribe
USA
179 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 20:43:13
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I was all for leaving him there, but he managed to convince the other players to break him out and as a DM I either had have them fail at the attempt and have an effective TPK, or let them get away. They didn't have any interest in returning to Baldur's Gate, so I wasn't too worried.
This player actually left the group suddenly, mid-game, after throwing a tantrum when his own stupid actions caused his character to die. It's not specifically a tale of the Realms (my friend was DMing in his homebrew world) but it is a story of a stupid player. IF you'd like, I'll share it with you. |
My Current Campaign: The Adventures of the Stonelanders |
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Ashe Ravenheart
Great Reader
USA
3249 Posts |
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Markustay
Realms Explorer extraordinaire
USA
15724 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 21:14:20
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During one of our earliest gaming sessions, my 15-year-old son poured beer all over some zombies and was trying to light it. I had to explain to him that beer wasn't flammable (he assumed since it contained alcohal, they would go up in a puff of smoke).
My other son (just 13) decided not to get involved in the combat and snuck out of the room (into the next room, where the treasue was). Since the other two party members had also managed to wander-off earlier in the adventure (one never even made it to the dungeon), I basically had my son getting beat-on by three very wet zombies and screaming for help... which his brother in the other room ignored as he picked trough the treasure (which wasn't much at all - they were 1st level).
This entire first session can best be described as "a series of unfortnate events', but nearly all of the 'events' were self-induced.
quote:
Originally posted by Brynweir
I don't know about stupid, but it sure was annoying... <snip>
Been there, too.
I was sitting-in on a 'trainee session' for some D&D noobs. My brother-in-law and his friends (all early teens).
The guy running the game was a long-time player in someone else's game, but had never DMed before. Just as the session started, two of his friends showed-up from the other game (two players... still no experienced DM), with their level 18+ characters... and proceeded to run rampant all over everything so that the kids learning the game didn't get to do anything.
I attempted something clever (essentially a mutiny - I wanted the rest of us to seperate from the show-boaters and have some fun), and the DM killed me... just like that. Not even a roll. 
That was probably THE worst case of favortism I have ever seen, but I've seen enough of them to try and avoid them at all costs these days. |
"I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me" --- Dudley Field Malone
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Edited by - Markustay on 29 Jul 2009 21:22:08 |
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wintermute27
Learned Scribe
USA
179 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 21:17:01
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So, to start off, my friend who was running this game is a bit of a jerk DM. I love him to death, but he definitely adheres to the whole "me vs the players" style of gaming. We were fighting a flesh golem. This thing was made form the corpse of a giant of some kind (10' reach) and has spiked chains attached to his arms instead of hands (+15' reach). This thing threatened the ENTIRE ROOM it was in.
Well, we were fighting it. I was a rogue and I wasn't gonna be much use in the fight so I was guarding our hostage (a drow slave girl) and making sure she didn't bolt. I was just outside the room with our Dread Necromancer who was summoning undead to draw the giant's attacks and the ranger (out stupid friend from before) pelting it with arrows. The fight wasn't going well and so Stupid decided that I should be inside fighting this thing too (evidently golem=immune to sneak attack didn't register in his book), so he attempted to use a sleep arrow on the hostage (because elf=immune to sleep also didn't register).
Well, he pissed the drow off something fierce and she tried to run for it, so I had to use a charm and suggestion I had tucked up my sleeve. One of our fighters who was in the room decided to step over and take Stupid's bow from him. He succeeded. This caused Stupid to become mad and he tried to charge the fighter with a knife. Now this fighter had gotten into a batch of cursed fruit at one point in the game and effectively had acquired the Dire template. So when Dire-Fighter took his attack of opportunity (big things get reach), Stupid was squashed flat. Unfortunately this meant that a sorcerer was forced to swoop in on his flying carpet and hold down the golem while Dire-Fighter was taking care of Stupid, and the sorcerer (a fire specialist who called himself Tim) was slain.
Shortly after Stupid packed up his dice and left the room in a huff, we decided to take a break and discuss the complete breakdown of the party that had occurred and took steps to make sure it didn't happen again. Even to this day, we laugh about the things this guy did while he was gaming with us.
The moral of this story: If you use the internet to recruit players for a game, meet with them first for an interview (of sorts) to make sure they're right for your game. |
My Current Campaign: The Adventures of the Stonelanders |
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Ashe Ravenheart
Great Reader
USA
3249 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 22:16:44
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quote:
Originally posted by wintermute27
The moral of this story: If you use the internet to recruit players for a game, meet with them first for an interview (of sorts) to make sure they're right for your game.
Or that they even know which game you're playing. Those are two very basic rules (immune to sneak attack and elf immune to sleep) that should be learned very early on. Hmmm, I think I've played with him... |
I actually DO know everything. I just have a very poor index of my knowledge.
Ashe's Character Sheet
Alphabetized Index of Realms NPCs |
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36906 Posts |
Posted - 29 Jul 2009 : 22:32:02
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quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
During one of our earliest gaming sessions, my 15-year-old son poured beer all over some zombies and was trying to light it. I had to explain to him that beer wasn't flammable (he assumed since it contained alcohal, they would go up in a puff of smoke).
I myself figured beer wouldn't be flammable... But we had a DM decide it was. And so that became a sneaky tactic on the part of myself and my bard-playing friend. |
Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen! |
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The Sage
Procrastinator Most High
Australia
31799 Posts |
Posted - 30 Jul 2009 : 01:05:58
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quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
I attempted something clever (essentially a mutiny - I wanted the rest of us to seperate from the show-boaters and have some fun), and the DM killed me... just like that. Not even a roll.
That was probably THE worst case of favortism I have ever seen, but I've seen enough of them to try and avoid them at all costs these days.
Mutiny in a D&D game? I've never actually tried anything like that before. But it's an interesting premise.
I'm going to want to think on this.
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Candlekeep Forums Moderator
Candlekeep - The Library of Forgotten Realms Lore
http://www.candlekeep.com -- Candlekeep Forum Code of Conduct
Scribe for the Candlekeep Compendium -- Volume IX now available (Oct 2007)
"So Saith Ed" -- the collected Candlekeep replies of Ed Greenwood
Zhoth'ilam Folio -- The Electronic Misadventures of a Rambling Sage |
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BlackAce
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
358 Posts |
Posted - 01 Aug 2009 : 16:20:22
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Ah my favourite story of campaign stupidity happened last year...
A particularly usless rogue/shadowmaster PC gets himself caught by the watch, (he fumbled tossing his grapling hook and ended up hanging by his fingernails from a second story window.) He's promptly hauled off and banged up in the town jail. The rest of the party gather round in a nearby tavern and debate wether or not to spring him. As most of the PC were evil and self-interested they decide not to bother. Well, that is, apart from one very determined dwarf fighter, who decides he's going to spring him out all by himself.
First he visits the prison, on what was supposed to be a reconaissance, to find which cell the rogue is being held in. He pays the visitor fee, hands over all his weapons and magical items and is escorted towards the cells.
Suddenly the dwarf's player gets a gleam in his eye and announces he's going to bullrush the guard. The guard is caught flatfooted and goes down down quickly. Our dwarf snatches the keys from the unconcious guard and rushes to what he assumed were the cells, only to find a guardroom still lies between him and his objective and four very startled guardsmen are drawing swords.
At this point, our player decides his character is very likley to come off the worse in this encouter and he really isnt THAT fond of the rogue. Cue the fastest dwarven retreat of all time as our short-arsed friend flees from the prison persued by a very angry pack of guardsmen.
Now having lost all his weapons and several magical rings in the reconaissance debacle, our Dwarf's player is rather sulky. Now you'd think he'd have learned that rash, spur of the moment decisions are going to bite him on the backside from time to time. (This player has played in my group for nearly two years by this point and should know better, alas....)
Far from learning a lesson though, our dwarf is even more determined to not only spring the Rogue, but get his gear back. His new cunning plan is to head over to the docks, where, thanks to the plots of the entire party, he knows a calishite galley is docked which mounts a massive bronze smokepowder canon on it's fo'c'sle and that there is a secured power store by the quayside.
To cut a long story short he succeeds in breaking in to the powder store and subduing the two watchmen guarding it. Realising he'll need someway to move the powder, he heads back out into the docks and steals a nearby hay cart. Here I take pity on him as a GM and give him a crib sheet telling him roughly how many barrels he'll need to blow a hole in the jail wall; two barrels....
Unfortunatley, sucess and temptation get the better of our player and he just can't bare to take only two barrels and he decides to load up the cart with as many as it'll carry, which turns out to be twenty.
Buoyed up by his success, our dwarf player scoots back across the city on his cart and pulls up roughly adjacent to where the cell block is that contains his friend, the rogue.
Now if you remember, it only needs two barrels to blow a sizable hole in the jail wall but our dwarf has forgotten that in the excitement and instead, sets up a fuse to blow the entire cart.(I ask his player THREE TIMES if he was quite sure about this; yes, he was.)
20 barrels, each capable of 12d10 pts of subdual and fire damage!
Up goes the cart, the horse pulling it and half the frigging jail!
And every player but the dwarf's owner end up rolling around on my living room floor as the rogue just got vapourized. |
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Sian
Senior Scribe
Denmark
596 Posts |
Posted - 02 Aug 2009 : 11:41:49
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| did the rogue go though laughing throes as well? |
what happened to the queen? she's much more hysterical than usual
She's a women, it happens once a month |
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BlackAce
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
358 Posts |
Posted - 06 Aug 2009 : 23:57:45
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quote:
Originally posted by Sian
did the rogue go though laughing throes as well?
They all ended up laughing hystericaly in the end. I was just kinda left shaking my head going through the motions. I attempted to work out exactly how much damage the rogue had taken, even going so far as rolling dice. I gave up when it came up as 60 odd, times twenty for each barrel and even with a saving throw for half damage it was three or four time his total hit points. My semi-feigned exasperation with him was probably one of the funniest parts but you really had to be there for that. |
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Nicolai Withander
Master of Realmslore
Denmark
1093 Posts |
Posted - 08 Aug 2009 : 12:17:41
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| In our campaign we just tried to invade mount Thay... bad idea! |
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Ghost King
Learned Scribe
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - 30 Aug 2009 : 15:23:27
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My story is just this. It involved a powerful crystal ball, a dumb ranger, an npc evil necromancer, and my wizard. The ranger said simply that he was going to destroy the crystal ball if the necromancer didn't stop trying to kill the party. The necromancer simply said in general, "Go ahead!"
He then just shrugs and tosses the crystal ball over his shoulder right at me. It hits the floor and failed its save (of course) and boom! DM rolls damage rolls for the exploding powerful magic item and my upper body is incinerated from the waste up (level 4 wizard at this point). I got a free resurrection from the DM that felt I shouldn't be punished from playing the wizard since it really wasn't my fault and had no way to live through it, but the necromancer just opened up on the ranger with his most powerful necromancy, which, by the way, the crystal ball did damage to him as well but survived it. Killing the ranger fairly easy and then retreated. The ranger didn't get a resurrection, however.
Moral of the story is: Don't leave your fragile powerful magic items lying around so dumb rangers can play with them. Lock them up and out of their reach! Because powerful magic items can kill fellow party members in the wrong hands! |
Edited by - Ghost King on 30 Aug 2009 15:24:32 |
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PhoenixTalion
Acolyte
USA
2 Posts |
Posted - 07 Sep 2009 : 07:56:05
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| My rogue, Talkasha, once taxidermied a dragon, and had it magically animated (free magic from the Church of Tyr, silly DM! He meant it for the heals...) with two of our party members inside, and then we flew it over the enemy city where it was 'slain'. Trojan Dragon FTW. |
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"What hope hath man for good and evil, when all our Gods are scoundrels? Truth is what you make of it, 'tis best we pray that conviction be a virtue, and follow whatever twisting path is destined by our crooked stars..."
~The Crooked Books |
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Cbad285
Learned Scribe
161 Posts |
Posted - 20 Sep 2009 : 03:26:54
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Ok, here is one.
In my game, we have a drow 'house' that has been established on the surface for those dark elves looking to escape the underdark, and still remain their oh so cool drow selves.
Anyway, one of those drow was a wizard and he was traveling with...count them, two high elves, a sylvan elf ranger, a human from icewind dale and a very small gnome...
So the whole party is in these catacombs being chased by undead. They end up getting separated and the drow is caught by himself in a dead end, and three skeletons lumbering towards him. Here is where the stupidity comes in.
I'm not a mean DM, I always give the players SOME way out. However, it’s up to them to use it.
I had given the party a protection from undead scroll the game before, which they quickly sold for a night on the town, a shiny new dagger a dwarf was selling in market, and a shabby concoction of salves at the local church....Anyway lol, so this wizard is stuck in this hall way, and someone has the good graces of noting that fire does heavy damage to undead. Now, what they forget is that in these catacombs, they have repeatedly come across pools of crude oil and slime dripping from the walls.
Said drow throws said fireball down said hall and all involved die in a fantastically gigantic inferno...one that I will cherish forever. :)
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"Beware the Dream Fever!" |
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Dracons
Learned Scribe
USA
299 Posts |
Posted - 21 Sep 2009 : 18:06:51
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Hmm. Thinking... thinking...
OH! In one of my games, the party decided to sneak into the evil wizards apprentices tower. (The wizards recently got a artifact book that whoever read it, would become feebleminded, and convinced the book was the secret to mastering all magic). Now the party wizard read the book himself, but was cured, and decided it was time for vengence. The half-orc paladin of freedom of Corellon belived that since this book was taking people freedom away basically, that it was a good cause. The monk went because, well the monk wanted to go. The kobold sorcererer went because a wizard there made his wig color different. The only one who didn't want to go was the barbarian, as he felt it was getting in the way of his quest to forge the sword that would destroy the BBES. (Big Bad Evil Sword. Yes, my BBEG is a sentient sword. Bite me). He was trying to convince the others not to go. They ignored him. The player says fine, he goes insane. Starts to walk slowly down the hallway in the area below the tower, laughing as loud as possible. With his high HP, and belt of resistance, (Like the cloak) it took quite a bit of hitting and spellcasting to finally knock him out. The sounds of battle and a man laughing caused the guild to scry in the sewers, and send out a golem, and a few other lower soldiers. The guild now knew what the party looked like, and the party made yet another enemy as they made their escape.
Another one deals with the barbarian above, but different game. In this game, all the gods recently, disappeared. The land was torn asundered, and the party is trying to figure out why and how. The player, a monk and follower of Sharess, recently got a cat. It seems the cat is invisible to some, and visiable to others. One of the players figure out why, and even told me once out of the game. The cat is visiable to those who still have faith in gods, while being invisible to those without. Even though I strongly hinted this to the player more then once, he still didn't figure out why.
One day, the monk was petting the cat who was on his shoulder at his favorite bar, when the bartender, who he was friends with, asked him why he scracthing his shoulder. He said he was petting his cat. The bartender asked what cat. The player eyes light up, all the players had to close them it was so bright. The player stood up, mouth open. "I GET IT!!!"
All the players have figured it out, but never said anything to him, since it was for his character alone, we all leaned forward, happy that he finally gets it.
"HE'S BLIND!!!" The player shouted, happy that he figure out the big mystery.
Yes. The bartender who just pointed out he was scractching his shoulder. The bartender that always looked at him coming in, the one who helpped picked out the better dress for his wedding, was blind.
BTW: The player never figured it out. We had to tell him.
Dealing with the same player/character above in the same campagin above, found some drow merchants on the surface, even though more and more drow were seen, mostly fleeing some great horror from below he felt this was wrong. He decided to spy on them from above. (The monk is like a sorcerer/monk, alot like DBZ stuff....). The drow were just selling stuff to another NPC. The monk then shouted from them to stop. The drow, getting scared of a flaming, red skinned demon (Fire gensai) that was floating above them, took out some crossbows and tried to shot him, to no avail. (Now mind you, the monk is level 23...). The monk shakes his head, and decides to use HIS MOST POWERFUL ATTACK on the CR1 drow. The drow die of course, and so did the horses, and most of the items they were selling. He then decided to loot the bodies, bury them, and go and tell the LG paladin of Torm of his good deed.
The monk lost a hand after that. |
I love PMs! Please send me a message. Even if its Hi. |
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Quale
Master of Realmslore
1757 Posts |
Posted - 28 Sep 2009 : 10:21:51
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| They carried an orc chieftain in a bag of holding, trying to sell him, and then to extort the tribe, like they cared. |
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Zm
Acolyte
United Kingdom
5 Posts |
Posted - 24 Oct 2009 : 19:30:02
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We had something like this in a convension, it was a long time ago so i don't quite remember but here it goes:
DM: As you step out of the woods, you hear something behind you, mixture of some random whispers, some metal noises and bones rattling.
Fighter: Must be some undeads, alright Kelden (-our cleric) get ready.
Cleric: I am always ready, Lathander give me strength! (she actually started shouting here)
Wizard: Oh come on, we can easily outrun them, I am out of spells.
Bard: I pick up my lute and start playing.
Elf Ranger: How about we set the jungle on fire?
Whole group: ??? |
Edited by - Zm on 24 Oct 2009 19:31:12 |
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goatunit
Acolyte
USA
31 Posts |
Posted - 25 Oct 2009 : 00:59:38
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I won't get into it, but never let the dwarf with no ranks in "use rope" tie off and lower a bag full of alchemist's fire to the rest of the party at the base of the cliff.
In fact, a bag is probably a bad place for alchemist's fire even in the best situations. |
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Cleric Generic
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
565 Posts |
Posted - 06 Nov 2009 : 15:44:14
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| This one was me, playing a Mulhorandi Paladin. During a battle with some powerful spellcaster or other a party NPC was zapped with a spell that effectively turned him into a puddle with a face. Being as charitable as I am, and not fully understanding the paladin code of conduct at the time (NPC was evil tho), it struck me as a grand idea to scoop NPC up into a bucket (why I had one, we will never know), disguise myself (throw my cloak over one eye and speak in a silly voice), and try to sell the NPC at the local Thayan Enclave. It was only after that failed, and the NPC went down the toilet, did I realise he was carrying critical documents and items and mount a rescue mission. |
Cedric! The Cleric Generic and Master of Disguise!
ALL HAIL LORD KARSUS!!!
Vast Realmslore Archive: Get in here and download everything! http://www.wizards.com/default.asp?x=dnd/archfr/rl
2e Realms book PDFs; grab em! - http://poleandrope.blogspot.com/2010/07/working-around-purge.html |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
Posted - 21 Dec 2009 : 22:34:47
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Okay, I've got one. This involves the party I DM which consisted of a sex-changing drow fighter/rogue (don't ask- she was cursed by a god with a twisted sense of humor; think Fiona from Shrek, but chages gender instead of race, really funny when she goes to a bar during the day and gets come on to by the wenches!), a Ghost elf wizard, a Wood elf ninja, a duskblade and three others (forgot their race and class). All of them were 4th level or lower (ECL's included).
Now, they were out checking out the dwarven city they were in, and discovered my gladiator arena. They found out that it sponsored non-lethal as well as lethal matches, so two of them decided to place bets, while the rest- the ninja, wizard, the drow, and the duskblade and one other went to fight. They were up against my two seventh level NPC's- a monk/wizard gestalt (who was modeled after a certain wall-crawling superhero, lol!) and the drow bard/dervish I run, both of whom eventually joined the party as comic relief/back-up. Anywhos, the monk and ninja faced off, while the rest took on the bard, thinking him the lesser threat. He animated his lute to play while he sang a VERY amusing ballad about the battle to bolster himself and the monk. (I made up my own version of the theme from Gilligan's Island and sang it during the session- got lots of laughs...)
Unfortunately, the wizard had one of his rare bright ideas, and smashed the lute. This naturally pissed off the bard, who promptly went into his dervish dance on them, and began smacking everyone in range. However, I had forgotten about AOO's, (this was before I realized tumble checks could be made in dervish- was still getting the feel for the class) so he started taking heavy damage. So he levitated up where they could not reach, and used his crossbow.
Then the wizard had another rare moment of inspiration, and used his kama and some rope to make a grappling hook to pull him down. He rolled two crits- one for the stregth check, one for the grapple. He yanked my poor bard down so fast he was dazed and prone- and that's when thay all started pummeling the poor guy....
Meanwhile, the monk got into a grapple with the ninja, who happened to be female, and managed to steal a kiss. She was not pleased, and proceded to beat him like a red-headed step-child. The group was rolling twenties that day like they were going out of style. Needless to say, they won the match, and the bets. They came out with a level advance and a hefty haul of cash, though the bard demanded the party's wizard compensate him for the lute, and the monk asked the ninja on a date!
Not stupid, per say, but highly amusing and insane!! (The two NPC's later discovered to their horror that the female drow had a very disturbing secret- AFTER they had been spying on her and the ninja bathing....) |
The Goddess is alive, and magic is afoot.
"Where Science ends, Magic begins" -Spiral, Uncanny X-Men #491
"You idiots! You've captured their STUNT doubles!" -Spaceballs
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My stories:
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Lothir, courtesy of Sylinde (Deviant Art)/Luaxena (Chosen of Eilistraee)
http://sylinde.deviantart.com/#/d2z6e4u |
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Cleric Generic
Senior Scribe
United Kingdom
565 Posts |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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The Ridiculous Stuff People Have Tried
