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The Whackmiester
Acolyte
Canada
16 Posts |
 Posted - 17 Apr 2005 : 05:22:15
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This is the tale of Griff Battlebaron, the General of Drakk Gazan's army, and loyalist to the Ebon Skull.
My tale begins at the Hellgate Tavern in Drakk Karag, I was playing poker and drinking Vodka with my good man Beleth who had put the Chalice of Oblivion at stake. I saw his bet, and was gonna raise him something... but what? What could possibly be better then the Chalice of Oblivion? My soul? Nah, no way he'd want that. I send him hundreds of those every time my men face the enemy. So I decided to put The Baron at stake. The Baron was my axe. We'd been through a lot, from the time I used her to carve my way through the fey prison to the day we sacked dreamhold, right up to this day when I had torn hundreds of spriggans to pieces with it. Beleth showed his hand. Three Aces and a 10 of hearts. Looking at mine, I saw that I had a full house. I put my cards on the table. "Full house, my good man." I said. The Chalice of oblvion hoovered towards me.
Something was strange, Beleth would have been ticked off to lose something like the Chalice of Oblivion. Instead he chuckled. "What's so funny?" I asked. "Nothing, Griff. Just thinking of the time your Creation, Gulzar, was looking through the graveyard." he said. Oh yeah, I had heard that story, quite amusing too... Gulzar was looking for a particular grave to bury the remains of someone he disemboweled and found the grave of someone named Hugh Jass. When he looked down, he saw what appeared to be a human buttocks sticking out of the grave soil. He kicked it repeatedly. Great! Now he's got me thinking about it and I'm laughing so hard that I slam my hands against the table until it breaks.... luckily Lord Gorak Rik favored me, so I didn't have to pay for it. Beleth got up off his chair and left the Hellgate tavern... probably to the hell portal in Drekk Barag Headquarters.
I picked up the chalice of Oblivion. It was cold to the touch... which was wierd considering it was in the hands of a demon. It was elaboratley crafted of Necronium with arcane symbols engraved in it's surface. The middle of the chalice seemed to be made of bone. As I held the chalice, I heard whispers. "Griff Battlebaron... Go to the military brewery... obey..." the whispers said. I picked up the baron and re-attached it to my belt.
With the Chalice of Oblivion in my hand, I got out of the Hellgate Tavern and got onto my steed, a mutated black widow spider that was mutated and trained personally by Matron Zilvra who kind of had a thing for me after the battle of Dreamhold. I rode it to the military brewery not far from Durin Bloodbeard's "Correctional Facility." I got off my giant black widow and approached the gates to the brewery. The guard walked up and did the mandatory close-up inspection, and then opened the gate. "Go to the vat..." said the Whispers.
Of course I obeyed. I was at the vat. There was just one giant vat, filled with Vodka and a sturdy metal platform over it. "Hold up the chalice." said the whispers. So I did, and it filled with a black liquid. "Dump it into the vat..." said the whispers. Slowly I tilted the chalice, the black liquid got into the vodka, as it made its way from the chalice to the vodka below, it started to turn as clear as the vodka itself. Voices inside my head began to cackle with malevolent glee. No matter, I got on my Black Widow and scuttled over to the Kiren Karag with the Chalice in hand.
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Edited by - The Whackmiester on 17 Apr 2005 05:36:06
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Alaundo
Head Moderator
United Kingdom
5695 Posts |
Posted - 20 Apr 2005 : 06:43:42
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Posted from The Whackmeister
This is continuation of Griff Battlebaron's tale.
I made it to the Drekk Barag where I met my brother, Kozzir Battlebaron, one of the Drekk Barag's black mages. "Hey Kozz, what's this shit?" I asked him, handing him the chalice of Oblivion. Kozzir looked inside the chalice, he took a stick and scraped up the bile within the chalice. He Sniffed it. "It's odorless..." he said. "Hey Khag! Git yer arse down 'ere!" he shouted. Another Duergar came down the stairs. "Who's this?" I asked. "This is Khag Bloodhands, me test subject." said Kozzir. "What do ye want?" asked Khag. Kozzir handed Khag the stick, covered in bile. "Lick it." said Kozzir. Khag took the stick and licked it. "How does it taste?" asked Kozzir. "It's got no taste." said Khag. He looekd fine for a few seconds... and then he buckled over and moaned as if he'd been stabbed.
Khag writhed in agony for about two minutes and arose, his eyes glowing red and his skin as black as night. I could see every vein in his body. "What th' hells!?" I said. "I was about to ask the same thing." said Khag. "I think I know what be happenin' 'ere." said Kozzir. He took out a steel pole from the cabinet. He gave me the steel pole. "Hit 'im." said Kozzir. I pulled the pole back and swung it at Khag's head, the steel pole bent. "Ow." said Khag. I dropped the bent steel pole and backed up in surprise. "Holy shit! Th' Chalice turns people inta Demons!" I shouted. "We don' know that, in fact we won't know that until we run tests. First we gotta do a blood test." said Kozzir, taking out a huge needle. He put the needle to Khag's flesh, but the needle broke against Khag's skin. "This isn't gonna be easy..." said Kozzir.
After about ten days of testing, the Drekk Barag experiments concluded that the chalice of Oblivion does, in fact, turn people into Demons. Kozzir and I walked to the war room. "This is perfect! We could use this artifact to our advantage!" said Kozzir, rubbing his hands together, pacing back and forth. "No shit. So tell me, what info do ye have about these demons that me troops are gonna turn into?" I said. "Oh, aye. Th' demons are invulnerable t' normal weapons, it takes enchantments t' defeat these new Demonic Duergar. We 'ave learned that they can withstand very high heat. Ye could throw these lads into the lava pits of Drakk Karag an' they would come right out unhurt." Said Kozzir. "Won't this threaten th' Communist System of our nation?" I asked. "Nay. T' do a thing like that, ye'd have t' kill Gorak Rik, an' these demons ain't that powerful. Even if ye attacked with a legion of these demonic duergar, Gorak Rik would still crush 'em." said Kozzir. "Speakin' of which, does Gorak Rik approve of what we're doin'?" I asked. "Aye. As far as he's concerened, we can do whatever th' hells we want so long as it means our army grows in power." said Kozzir.
"Anywee, I've a job fer ye and yer newfound Dread Duergar." said Kozzir, turning my attention to the map of Drakk Gazan at the center of the table. He pointed to a particular spot in the ruins of Dreamhold. "Right 'ere, the Spriggans are tryin' t' grow certain plants that I could use fer future experiments. However, their weapons 'n' armor are now heavily enchanted an' every battalion that attacks it ends up gettin' their arses handed to 'em." said Kozzir. "So ye want me t' secure th' compound with me new demonic army?" I asked. "Aye. An' t' make it easier, I'm orderin' a decoy supply wagon with an escort t' pass close by it. When they ambush it, they're gonna be in fer a big surprise..." said Kozzir, rubbing his hands together. We cackled... until the chalice started glowing and filled up with what looked like the same demon blie I dumped into the military brewery.
"Drink the Demon Bile..." said the whispers in my head. I raised the chalice to my lips. As the chalice came closer and closer, I heard fire crackling, as the cold demon bile touched my lips, I heard the sounds of demons laughing. The bitter demon bile flowed down my throat, and as it did this, everything turned red. I could hear the screams, wailings, and last words of enemies long since defeated. I saw the faces of all of those pathetic fey wretches I had slaughtered. Among them, the horribly mauled face of King Lavander the unwise. As the last of the demon blie went down my throat, I felt a pain in my chest, everything went back to normal color, the screams and wails stopped, the faces disappeared, and the crackling of fire ceased. I felt slightly bigger. I looked at my arms, and noticed that they were bulging more so then ever. "Griff! Are ye alright!?" asked Kozzir, very worried about my well being, obviously. "Better then ever, Kozzir." I said. I noticed my voice was deeper. I arose from my chair, and got on my black widow spider, and went to the Military base, there I would prepare to see what power the Chalice of Oblivion granted me... |
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The Whackmiester
Acolyte
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - 29 Apr 2005 : 16:28:27
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I had gone to the military base at Gorak Runk, west of Dreamwood. Everyone there was turned into the same creature that I was. The soldiers were complaining that their armor was too tight. I assured them that after the mission, I would request for bigger armor. As the sun set, I rallied the troops to brief them on the mission. When the briefing was finished, we marched into Dreamwood. Our marching was like that of Orcs, damn near shaking the ground we were treading on.
As the sky darkened, we reached dreamhold. We hid in the foliage, and waited for the decoy wagon to come. We heard wheels off in the distance. Looking down the road, there was the metal wagon, accompanied by seven ragged looking guards. The wind shifted, carrying the smell of death towards us. That's when I came to the conclusion that the guards were undead. Spriggan spearmen rushed the wagon and attacked the undead guards, cutting them down easily and killing the two deep rothe that pulled it. They ripped the wheels off and danced on top of it. One of them opened it, and backed away as if seeing something horrible within the wagon. "We've been set up! Hit the dirt!" shouted one of the spriggans. As he turned, the wagon exploded.
"Kill everyone!" I shouted. The other Duergar leapt out of the Foliage and rushed the Fey, who were caught by surprised. The first couple of Fey were cut down, but as we pushed through Dreamhold's ruins, we encountered much more resistance. These fey had some very powerful enchantments. Both sides took equal casualties. Clearly the fey had grown in power since the destruction of their beloved Dreamhold. I, however, managed to encounter one spriggan without an enchanted weapon. He thought he could jab me with his puny spear, but my new found power caused it to shatter. I turned around and slugged him so hard that I mauled much of his face. He crawled away, wailing and caressing his face. Just when I was about to finish him, arrows whizzed past me. "Pick on someone your own size, you big mean Duergar!" someone shouted from behind me.
I turned around and saw a beefy Spriggan that looked much like Lavander the Unwise. In his hand was a mohagany bow and a silver arrow. At his side was a golden sword. He took another shot, which hit my shoulder and hurt like crap. I walked right up to him as he tried to knock another arrow and grabbed him by the throat and threw him to the edge of the docks. The spriggan drew his sword and took a swing at me, he actually managed to cut my arm. As he tried to take another swing, I grabbed his arm and twisted. I took the sword from him and cast it into the water. He looked passed me, back where the other spriggan was. "No Gavin! Save yourself!" he shouted, swatting at the air. I smashed the spriggan's face with my bare hands. As I smashed his puny head, it brought back fond memories of the time I killed Lavander the Unwise... Oh yeah... I smashed his face in just like I'm smashing in this poor bugger's face today. By the time I was finished with him, he had no face. I pommeled him so much that his entire skull just caved right in.
I brought the desicrated body to the top of a ruined tower. I wrapped a vine around the body's neck and dangled it out the window. I turned around and noticed a burning pentagram in the middle of the room. Strange... this wasn't here before.... Then Beleth appeared. "What do ye want now?" I asked. "Now that I have given you the powers of oblivion, it is now time for you and your people to serve me forever." he said. "I don' follow." I said. "With the power you have obtained, you can succeed from Drakk Gazan's Communist Government and raise an empire with me in the seventh layer of hell." he said.
"What, are ye gonna kill me?" I asked. Beleth laughed. "You are already dead. All you need to do is have Kozzir Battlebaron open the portal to my dominion. Once there, go west of the City of Dis until I tell you to stop." said Beleth. I nodded and left the tower. "Gather anythin' that ain't nailed down, bolted down, or built in!" I shouted. My men gathered everything in the area and we left to go back to the Drekk Barag. |
The Whackmiester!
Candlekeep's only scribe that doesn't wear pants! |
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The Whackmiester
Acolyte
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - 29 May 2005 : 21:31:45
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(( Warning, it is going to get a little rediculous. Contains Nazis, reader be warned. ))
So I had the Drekk Barag rip a portal open to the Iron City of Dis, where I lead my entire army. Beleth had instructed us all to march through the outskirts for what felt like months. Finally Beleth appeared to me while we were taking a break. "We can stop now, right?" I asked. Beleth laughed. "No, you cannot stop until you have crushed the Enemy." he said. "What enemy?" I asked. He took a black orb out of his pocket, a wierd image appeared. It looked like men in black suits carrying muskets. They were wearing really tight leather pants. "Who th' bloody hells are these?" I asked. "They call themselves 'Das Verdammt.' They are from the future." said Beleth. "If they're from th' future, why don' they got better gear?" I asked. "I took their memory from them, and made them my slaves. They tormented the souls that came here to hell for a long time, but now they are just tormenting the weak. This makes them weaklings themselves. The time has come for them to be destroyed. You and your army will crush them and build your fortress over their desicrated bodies." said Beleth.
"Aye, this'll be a welcome break from th' weak fey." I said. Beleth Disappeared. The next day, or month, whatever, I can't tell time in the hells, anyway, at some point I rallied all my troops and briefed them. I told them of how we were ordered to crush Das Verdammt and build our great fortress over 'em. Later, after the briefing, we set our sites on what looked like a Das Verdammt Base. There were flame cannons and enemies with muskets. My troops seemed to be chuckling. "What's so funny?" I asked, looking at the enemy soldiers, noticing how they were Goose-Stepping all over the place in those tight leather pants. I almost burst out laughing too. I tried to contain my laughter as I ordered the entire army to rush in and destroy the enemy base.
As we charged the base, they fired their muskets. Only thirteen out of ten thousand of us fell over dead. As we got closer to the base, we could see the look on their faces. It was a look of utter fear. Only a few hundred stood to fight us, the rest fled further west. We quickly razed the base and burned it all to the ground. A fat, enemy human tripped as he tried to escape me. "Nein, Don't hurt me!" he said. "I don' think so, lard-lad, Beleth wants ye all dead an' buried in a foundation that holds our fortresses." I said, picking him up and throwing him into a circle of my soldiers. They stood back and cheered me as I battered the fey crap out of him. After a few minutes of hurting him, I grabbed a piece of rubble and brought it right down on his skull, splattering it all over the place.
After the Massacre, we started to build our first fortress, Ong Uzkul, or "First Death" |
The Whackmiester!
Candlekeep's only scribe that doesn't wear pants! |
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The Whackmiester
Acolyte
Canada
16 Posts |
Posted - 14 Sep 2005 : 17:31:34
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We don't know how long it was since we established Ong Uzkul, all we know is that we drove the enemy, which was named Das Verdammt, all the way back into their fortress. We had know idea what the name was, and quite frankly we didn't give a fey's ass. All we knew is that Beleth wanted these people dead, and we would deliver it. The Enemy Fortress was heavily guarded, what with all the Das Verdammt who flocked into it's walls. There must have been thousands in there. Crossbowmen could be seen in the windows, archers could be seen on the parapets, and a fat one could be seen in the inner fortress.
How I hated that fat one... standing atop that keep, mocking us, ordering his troops to moon us, and how they catapulted assorted tiny beasts that could only be found in the hells. I was going to make them pay for their mockery... Oh yes...
After much planning, I decided my method of attack. First it'd be an airial assault via Black Dragons, and then tunnel right under the city. I would send in my assassins and then send my soldiers to attack the front gates. The first few black dragons were pierced with massive spears, this angered me greatly since I greatly admired dragons, but the other dragons successfuly flew over the parapets and spewed acid on the defending soldiers, melting their frail bodies. The tunnels dug their way under the walls and my assassins entered the fortress. After two hours, I saw the bodies of all twelve of my assassins hung over the parapet.
The Fat one danced around, angering me even more. I ordered the dragons to fly around again, this time spewing acid on the fat one. Sadly they missed, and the fat one fled into a tower. I had enough, I ordered my footmen, berserkers, crossbows and mages to storm into the tunnel and create more entrances, that fat elf-lover would mock us no more, and I would personally see to it. I joined my military forces in the tunnel and watched as they fought their way through the enemy forces. I saw the Fat man in the window of the tower he fled into.
The Mages called down fire from the sky as I kicked down the door to the tower. My berserkers followed me in and ransacked the tower as I climbed the staircase, decapitating any who got in my path. Finally I reached the top of the tower, and there he was, the fat one. With my axe in hand, I was ready to chop him up for his mockery, but then he tried to appear manly. ”You vin, putrid Duergar, but give me a clean death, I vant my warriors to know I died like a man!” he said, before breaking down and crying like a fairy. So... he wanted peace of death? After all of his mockery, the last thing I'd do is let him live. I bound him with barbed wire and gagged him with the bleeding heart of one of his own warriors.
I forced him to watch from the tower as each of his warriors died like the weaklings Beleth said they were. The remaining ”warriors” fled the fortress, leaving it to us. It was then that the fortress name was changed to Khaz A-Beleth or Underground Hall of Beleth in the common tongue. Over time, we changed the defenses in case Das Verdammt decided to return. As for the fat one, he would never know the peace of death. We would torture him, kill him, and bring him back from death.
And that's this Duergar's tale, unless you wanna hear of the cult that worships me, there is nothing more to say. |
The Whackmiester!
Candlekeep's only scribe that doesn't wear pants! |
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The Dread Duergar
