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It is true that for some decades in the Realms (the time covered by the Realms boxed sets of both the 1st and 2nd Edition) there were apparently no male clerics of Lolth and no male clerics of Eilistraee, and no non-drow clergy of either goddess.
However, matters have changed.
Some (not all!) priestesses of Eilistraee believe the Dancer is worried about something dark she’s foreseen. Others disagree - - but all admit the Goddess has, for reasons she’s not divulged, changed the directives she gives her clergy and lay worshippers, to become far more inclusive.
For one thing, the “dream visions” she’s sent to senior established clergy have begun to direct them to accept both males and individuals of many races into the ranks of her clergy. (So, yes, Kentinal, a goblin priestess, gnome priestess, silver dragon, hill giants, and male priests of all stripes now ARE possible. We still don’t know [not being able to personally quiz Eilistraee] if there are any races that remain unacceptable as her clergy, but whereas before the answer was: all of them except drow, and female drow at that, the answer now is: possibly; all certainty is gone.) There are even apparently lycanthropes and shapechanging races among the clergy of Eilistraee.
Yes, you heard me right: there now ARE a few males among her church, but to enter it they have all “Danced The Changedance” and spent time as female, just as Mystra caused Elminster to spend time as Elmara - - and for the same reasons: greater understanding and sensitivity of “the life of the other gender.” One cannot truly feel the Divine Dance of Eilistraee PROPERLY except as a female, and so her (still very rare, few, and generally secretive about it) male priests must spend some time as a female (not just for the duration of a ritual, but they must do some everyday living as a female). The most accomplished drow, elf, half-elf, and human male priests seem to feel the need to take female form for some days every few years or so (if they wish to “cleave more fully to the Goddess” and thus rise in levels), and most spend longer and longer times in female form. Not all female priests of the Goddess fully trust the males, and they don’t tend to rise much in the church hierarchy (no matter what character levels they achieve).
More than that, many drow priestesses of Eilistraee are unhappy about this, and may prove hostile (not to the point of violence or refusal to accept or aid, but with a coldness in manner and a wary “always watching over” any males, until they achieve acceptance on a personal level [e.g. “I still don’t hold with allowing males - - males! - - to join the dances, but Elorand can be trusted; he’s proven himself over and over, and don’t think we haven’t tested him. Other males, I still don’t trust!”). Eilistraee has always had enough personal contact with her clergy that none of them would think of disbelieving that she truly means this “new way” to occur and to be followed - - and no established priestess of Eilistraee will renounce this new order, either. (“Reluctantly accepting and unhappily coping” is a good description of their state; “defying the goddess and rejecting males or trying to trick or lead them into fatal mishaps so we can be rid of them” would NOT be an accurate characterization.)
There wasn’t a single date or clear moment when the acceptance of males and non-drow began; it seems to have been slowly and almost secretively occurring over a decade or so. However, as of 1373 DR, “everyone” among the clergy of Eilistraee now seems to be aware of it.
Zandilar, Eilistraee has always gained converts and made herself known to drow through dream-visions and personal appearances (usually dancing in moonlit woods). Many, many drow long to return to the surface and live among trees (it’s a race instinct, that some recognize for what it is - - whereas other drow just feel always unsettled and edgy, and usually turn this into fighting amongst themselves, and family and/or trading rivalries), and Eilistraee has far more worshippers than the drow who dwell under the firm influence of Vhaeraun or Lolth (who is by far the most powerful of drow deities) would have one believe. I’d say a little more than 22% or so of all drow in Faerûn worship Eilistraee - - although I must again remind scribes to set aside any modern monotheistic thinking: in the Realms, the vast majority of intelligent beings worship many or at least several gods, NOT just one. It’s not easy to truly believe in and worship Lolth and any other drow deity, but a particular drow individual COULD venerate both Eilistraee and Vhaeraun (though they’d serve neither well, in trying to follow or honour both). Drow who ONLY worship Eilistraee are almost entirely her clergy, and are probably between 10 and 12 percent of all drow.
(I would echo Zanan in ranking the “popularity” of drow deities as: Lolth by a long shot, then Vhaeraun, but thereafter I would put Eilistraee ahead of Selvetarm, and Ghaundaur last of all. As of this moment, that is; faiths and their deities rise and fall over time, and right now Lolth is the only one I would bet on being around in the far future, if one purely considers divine power. Faraer is quite correct, however, to remind us that “worship isn’t the sole determinant of godly might, or Waukeen would be far greater than Mystra and Shar.” Wooly Rupert is also dead-on when he observed “If Lolth had her way, there would be no drow pantheon - - just her.”)
Every drow who sets out on an expedition to the surface, to raid, gets “tempted by Eilistraee in their dreams” (visions sent into their minds, whether they’re asleep, in Reverie, lying wounded or bored, singing or otherwise concentrating on something, or daydreaming alone or working on some repetitive task like painting or weaving). She also sends visions, in exactly the same manner, to drow who never go near the surface.
Many drow literally don’t understand the visions; they feel but don’t “feel” the Goddess. Others find Her troubling, or reject Her - - but about a quarter of all drow yearn for what she shows them. They may never do anything about it, or may never seek Her or Her worship, but they certainly feel Her.
So almost all drow learn of Eilistraee’s existence, and even receive a true picture of what it is (Lolth can’t stop that, because she too uses the dream-vision approach, and to try to block others from using it would rob her lay worshippers of much sanity, her priestesses of much daily control over those lay worshippers, and herself of much control over her priestesses). Not all that many reject Lolth and cleave to Eilistraee, but many secretly yearn (meaning they might spare a stricken worshipper of Eilistraee if they think no priestess is watching, or fail to pass on to other drow something they may have seen of the activities of faithful of Eilistraee, or stop to watch a dance of Eilistraee worshippers rather than disrupting it).
As for which pantheon Eilistraee belongs to: pantheons are a purely mortal frame of reference, or way of classifying and speaking of divine beings they can never wholly understand. Eilistraee clearly began as, and primarily remains, a drow deity - - but has exiled herself from the formal company of all other deities (though she’s friendly to Selune and Mielikki, and at least polite to all of the major surface elven deities).
No mortal can be certain why Eilistraee is now embracing males and non-drow as worshippers, but we do know it’s been going on for some time, and is now openly Her policy (NO clergy of Eilistraee can fool themselves into passing this off as an idea promoted by this or that high-ranking priestess; they KNOW the Goddess Herself is promoting this). There are still certain church “offices” (Sword Dancers and other prestige classes) that seem restricted to females only, but this may only appear to be the case because no males have yet attained those offices - - we literally no longer know if there’s a divine prohibition.

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Originally posted by Kentinal

Change dance was posted by Ed Greenwood here at Candlekeep a few years ago.In newer to the question of male clerics.

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Originally posted by LordofBones

Let's be fair, the average drow male isn't going to be enthused that the goddess of redemption is basically a nice Lolth that makes them swap genders. Drow males are basically second-class citizens (unless you're Gromph or Dyrr or the Spider-Mage, who are powerful enough to laugh at the system), so that bit up there about drow females not trusting males reads more like that they're worried their lessers might get ideas. Even the whole 'walk in their shoes' thing is really, really dumb, because a male drow turned female and a female drow turned male are going to get very, very different reactions while walking down a drow city instead of the Eilistraeen priesthood's temples and I can't even begin to fathom just how moronic is would be for Eilistraee to allow this to continue.

Amusingly enough, Vhaeraun enforces no such thing among his priesthood. It's an interesting plot point that nobody really tries to work with, because Eilistraee would then have to wrestle with how her brother's clergy is more accepting while her own looks like a watered down version of her mother's.

And let's also be real, if you flipped Eilistraee's and her clergy's genders, the outcry would make that orc racism thing look like a preschool argument over sweets.

It's a mildly fetishistic part of the clergy that glosses over the rank of the average drow male versus the average drow female. Not even in the real world were women treated as disposable breeders and showmares that had the very real chance of ending up over a sacrifical altar to a demon goddess.

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I can't even begin to fathom just how moronic is would be for Eilistraee to allow this to continue.

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Amusingly enough, Vhaeraun enforces no such thing among his priesthood. It's an interesting plot point that nobody really tries to work with, because Eilistraee would then have to wrestle with how her brother's clergy is more accepting while her own looks like a watered down version of her mother's.

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Originally posted by Irennan

Especially when on the other side you have Lolth screaming: "hurr durr, women in power=always (since *all* Lolth's priestesses are crap) bad! Hurr durr".

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Originally posted by TKU

Demihuman deities gives some really interesting statistics for the breakdown of the clergy of the various Dark Seldarine faiths. Interestingly, Selvetarm was the only one whose ratio of minority gender clergy reached a double-digit percentage. Lolth was actually near the middle of the pack so to speak with just under one in twenty of her clergy being male, but surpassing both Vhaeraun and Eilistraee. I can see why Eilistraee might want to take steps to mitigate the gap there with that particular statistic.

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