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ChieftainTwilight
Learned Scribe
171 Posts |
 Posted - 08 Apr 2011 : 06:32:30
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let's see if I can do this... I tend to shy away from writing, given my Chaotic nature. I'm more given to spur-of-the-moment Roleplaying, and elaborate-yet-summarized backstories. however, I feel the need to give an example of one of my favourite character's life..er... whatever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the gemstone was perfect. every cut was precise. when held to the torchlight the gleam shone through the crystal with a distinct sparkle. the gemstone was perfect.
"git'er there doublefast, son!" the foreman grated out in a hasrh voice. the younger-looking Dwarf he addressed took the diamond and put it in the bag with the others, running to the vault where they were kept.
these diamonds were reserved for the finest crafted goods these mines produced. they were usually enchanted, because their perfection was rare and special, befitting the occaision.
suddenly, there came a horrifying sound which haulted everything.
not one body moved. nobody breathed. the mines were quiet for a full minute after the wailing stopped. the first one to speak was the Foreman, and his voice startled everyone.
"you--" he started, pointing to a veteran miner, and everyon ebegan muttering.
"take him," he said, pointing to another Dwarf "and go investigate."
the pair grunted, hefting their picks, and set off down the mining tunnel. everyone else returned to their work.
not long afterwards, the two Dwarves came running back to the lighted part of the mine, screaming and frantic. the Foreman grabbed them each by the backs of their armour with unnatural strength and speed, and pulled them to their posteriors.
"git a 'old o'yerselves!" he roared at them, but they were still too terrified of what they saw before to be intimidated by their boss. when he failed to get across to them, he asked them what they saw.
"a Ghost, sir!" one of them, a grey-bearded worker with numerous facial scars, blurted out in reply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Valthier was just coming in the front door, from an errand he was running in Union. his front door was a special one, capable of opening to a number of different locales; anyone who walks through the door in that locale would walk inside the Mansion, but to leave the Mansion they must make sure that the door is set to the right place. a mechanical dial determines the two-way link.
as the Albino Drow Vampire came through the door he saw his butler, another Dark Elf Vampire, waiting for him just inside. he walked by the servant without acknowledging him.
"Master, there's been a development that requires your attention." he said cooly, feigning to ignore the slight as he followed the Lord of the Mansion.
"What is it, Elkantar?" sighed Valthier in exasperation.
"the workers have spotted a Ghost in the mines." he responded with an irritated tone.
Elkantar hated Valthier, and would give anything to kill the treacherous brat. the only reason Elkantar was spared the fate of the rest of the House he and his new Master once belonged to was because Valthier found his skills to be useful. Elkantar was more than just a butler, he was a Spy as well; an Informant and Assassin, an Agent to do Valthier's dirty work.
"realy?" purred Valthier with sudden interest. "well, I'll have to take this one into my own hands."
Valthier knew better than most what it meant when a Ghost appeared; Ghosts were beings of almost pure emotion, the memories of the forlorn, the unsatisfied, the frightened and confused. and he couldn't just ignore the problem, either. after all, whatever was ailing this restless spirit clearly had something to do with why it was here, and Ghosts were bad for business.
"sir?" inquired the butler.
"Elkantar, go inspect the mines with the Chief Surveyor. I want a full report from the both of you in three days."
Elkantar gritted his teeth, but bowed low. "as you wish, Master." he said, and then glided away.
((Continued...))
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and a heart can only break so many times
and I've been to hell and back so many times
and I've seen folks walk away so many times
but just like anyone else I gotta stand up by myself
and a heart can only break so many times
a heart can only break so many times
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Edited by - ChieftainTwilight on 08 Apr 2011 15:45:08
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GRYPHON
Senior Scribe
USA
527 Posts |
Posted - 08 Apr 2011 : 14:55:23
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| I would suggest using caps at the start of each sentence. Easier to read... |
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ChieftainTwilight
Learned Scribe
171 Posts |
Posted - 08 Apr 2011 : 15:25:48
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| meh... I prefer to use Capitalization my special way; to denote importance or Respect, rather than the first word in a sentence. we have punctuation to determine the end of a sentence, so it realy isn't all that hard to read. inversely, I've found people who use little to no punctuation think that they can make their posts easier to read by Capitalizing where a new sentence should start; it doesn't work, not nearly as well as puntuation (with or without Capitalized sentence first-letters). |
and a heart can only break so many times
and I've been to hell and back so many times
and I've seen folks walk away so many times
but just like anyone else I gotta stand up by myself
and a heart can only break so many times
a heart can only break so many times
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Wooly Rupert
Master of Mischief
USA
36896 Posts |
Posted - 08 Apr 2011 : 18:31:17
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quote:
Originally posted by ChieftainTwilight
meh... I prefer to use Capitalization my special way; to denote importance or Respect, rather than the first word in a sentence. we have punctuation to determine the end of a sentence, so it realy isn't all that hard to read. inversely, I've found people who use little to no punctuation think that they can make their posts easier to read by Capitalizing where a new sentence should start; it doesn't work, not nearly as well as puntuation (with or without Capitalized sentence first-letters).
Capitalization is a basic rule of grammar. Some of us do find it more difficult to read something that ignores basic rules like that. |
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I am the Giant Space Hamster of Ill Omen!  |
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Ayrik
Great Reader
Canada
7989 Posts |
Posted - 08 Apr 2011 : 19:58:47
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@ grammar
Q: What's another name for Santa's elves?
A: Subordinate Clauses. |
[/Ayrik] |
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ChieftainTwilight
Learned Scribe
171 Posts |
Posted - 08 Apr 2011 : 21:49:38
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| eesh... leastways you guys ain't rioting outside my front door with carefully spelled picket signs! XD |
and a heart can only break so many times
and I've been to hell and back so many times
and I've seen folks walk away so many times
but just like anyone else I gotta stand up by myself
and a heart can only break so many times
a heart can only break so many times
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GRYPHON
Senior Scribe
USA
527 Posts |
Posted - 09 Apr 2011 : 14:59:57
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| Maybe you could use another way to denote importance or respect? Bold or italics... |
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Alystra Illianniis
Great Reader
USA
3750 Posts |
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Frozen Memories
