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JC Denton
Acolyte
14 Posts |
 Posted - 23 Nov 2009 : 07:33:55
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dunno where to put this exactly so feel free to move it to the correct subforum 
I post this here since after all it IS set in the FR
I'd like a few people to have a look at an excerpt from the interactive fiction game I have been developing for some time (years, basically) now.
Title: "A day by the lake" (part 1 in a very huge series)
Genre: Epic (psychological) drama (this particular story Epic (psychological) fantasy drama)
Setting: Forgotten Realms (this game is a prequel to the famous Baldur's Gate RPG)
the (non-interactive) sample text contains 5 critical scenes in the childhood of the two main protagonists that will be used for flashbacks or some such thing, around 5000 words, story telling is not linear; the full game will be interactive fiction
so I'd like to get some opinions on my style, language (I'm not a native speaker), the way I introduce information), things you like and don't like, whether it's interesting at all, questions that come up reading the text, and other stuff; grammar and vocabulary mistakes likely exist, but those are for a later test
of course the text contains some information vital and critical to the story that is barely mentioned or not at all, I for one think there's at least some interesting stuff in there already
everybody that contributes information useful to me will of course be credited for it "when it's done"
so PM or answer in this thread, I hope I get at least 2-3 people
thanks
PS: PLEASE! readers needed badly!
Mod Edit: Shifted to a more appropriate shelf.
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Edited by - The Sage on 23 Nov 2009 08:03:21
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Hellkeepa
Seeker
Norway
61 Posts |
Posted - 27 Nov 2009 : 01:53:47
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HELLo!
I would love to read through it, can't promise a very quick reply, as I got a lot of stuff over the next two-three weeks. However, over the Christmas I should have a LOT of time to read and comment upon.
Happy playin'! |
Dealing with 3.5 only. Refusing the reality of 4.0, and substituting it for my own. |
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JC Denton
Acolyte
14 Posts |
Posted - 28 Nov 2009 : 17:08:40
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quote:
Originally posted by Hellkeepa
HELLo!
I would love to read through it, can't promise a very quick reply, as I got a lot of stuff over the next two-three weeks. However, over the Christmas I should have a LOT of time to read and comment upon.
Happy playin'!
hey did you get my pm? don't think this worked... |
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Dantrag
Learned Scribe
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 03 Dec 2009 : 04:41:56
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| I would love to read it...., my qualifications being....i love video games(especially fantasy rpg) and love FR novels and things of that nature. So if you'll have me.....ill help |
" The truth comes out only in bold and underlined" |
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JC Denton
Acolyte
14 Posts |
Posted - 03 Dec 2009 : 11:18:46
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@dantrag: I'm working on a new version currently, so I'll send it to you when it's done, ok?
tx |
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Dantrag
Learned Scribe
USA
141 Posts |
Posted - 03 Dec 2009 : 23:59:58
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| Alright looking forward to it |
" The truth comes out only in bold and underlined" |
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Copper Elven Vampire
Master of Realmslore
1078 Posts |
Posted - 05 Dec 2009 : 02:00:48
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Add more Elves... Gnomes, and Halflings! Otherwise... you have it buddy!
CEV |
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JC Denton
Acolyte
14 Posts |
Posted - 05 Dec 2009 : 14:52:28
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quote:
Originally posted by Copper Elven Vampire
Add more Elves... Gnomes, and Halflings! Otherwise... you have it buddy!
CEV
say what? 
this is a closed test... |
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JC Denton
Acolyte
14 Posts |
Posted - 20 Dec 2009 : 18:24:55
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to the people I may have sent pms to: did this work? if yes, at least tell me so  |
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JC Denton
Acolyte
14 Posts |
Posted - 26 Dec 2009 : 14:20:05
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| HELLO? |
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dwarvenranger
Senior Scribe
USA
428 Posts |
Posted - 28 Dec 2009 : 16:32:02
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| By no means a literary expert, I'll give it a look if you're still in need of critics. |
If I waited till I knew what I was doing, I'd never get anything done.
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jcdf
Acolyte
38 Posts |
Posted - 19 Feb 2010 : 20:38:03
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| I will read it. What software are you using to compile the Interactive Fiction? Is it Inform 7? |
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JC Denton
Acolyte
14 Posts |
Posted - 22 Feb 2010 : 14:47:33
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hey
sorry didn't bother to check this forum in some time, will send out PMs EDIT on Thursday/Friday
yes, I use Inform 7, but I'd need people to read the final alpha (text-only) version before I implement it into IF
JCD |
Edited by - JC Denton on 23 Feb 2010 10:55:49 |
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JC Denton
Acolyte
14 Posts |
Posted - 02 Mar 2010 : 09:55:47
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| ok does the pm system work AT ALL?! 4 people, never got ANY answer!!! |
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Readers for my IF FR story sample needed!
