All Forums  Forgotten Realms Journals  General Forgotten Realms Chat  Rhymes for Jarlaxle (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Note: You must be registered in order to post a reply.
To register, click here. Registration is FREE!

Screensize: 640 x 480 800 x 600 1024 x 768 1280 x 1024 UserName: Password: Format Mode: Basic  Help  Prompt  Format: Font Andale Mono Arial Arial Black Book Antiqua Century Gothic Comic Sans MS Courier New Georgia Impact Lucida Console Script MT Bold Stencil Tahoma Times New Roman Trebuchet MS Verdana   Size 1 2 3 4 5 6   Color Black Red Yellow Pink Green Orange Purple Blue Beige Brown Teal Navy Maroon LimeGreen Message: * HTML is OFF * Forum Code is ON Smilies [quote][i]Originally posted by sno4wy[/i] [br]Disclaimer: the contents of this post are very silly and are shared solely for humor value. There are also raunchy double-entendres (and raunchy non-double entendres). A while back, Chris Perkins tweeted, "Jarlaxle is definitely a poster boy for pansexuality, as a certain pair of shapechanging copper dragons can attest." I thought it was rather odd that Perkins would use a heterosexual example for pansexuality, as even though Ilnezhara and Tazmikella are dragons, they are FEMALE dragons. So I tried to get Perkins to clarify with a humorous rhyme a la Dr. Seuss: Would he love a girl or boy? You can say it don't be coy. Would he do it with a goat? Would he do it, on a boat? Would he bang them, in a box? Would he bang a male fox? Would he, could he, in the dark? Bang them bang them in the park? He might like them, he should see. He might do it with a tree. Would he, could he, in the rain? Would he, could he, in the ethereal plane? He'll do a dragon and do a spouse. He'll likely do it with a mouse. But you must tell me, tell me true, would he bang me, and would he bang you? Sadly, Perkins never responded to me, despite my efforts. :'( However, it wasn't all a waste, because it inspired a friend to write this (imo) awesome response in the voice of Jarlaxle: Why, all of those, (I don’t mean to brag), I’d even do it with a hag! I could love both girl and boy, I’ll say it, shout it, I’m never coy! A goat I’ve done (and been called one), And on a boat? Don’t kid me son! This box you mention, ‘tis it tight? For if ‘tis so, I’m set tonight. A male fox? Now that’s a Tod, I’d surely handle it (I’m near a god) *coughs* As for the dark, that’s fine you see, For what’s dark to you, is not to me. A bang in the park, or bang a tree? Why, I’d do both… simultaneously! I’ll do anyone, anything, as I hope to explain, In rain, a plane, or with a quatrain: (Thusly) [i]A spouse, a mouse, a dragon fair A god, a clod, an argent squire A lad, a cad, whose lustrous hair Sets me alight as if on fire.[/i] I pledge this to these words, I pledge it true: I’d certainly bang Artemis, how ‘bout you? [/quote]   Check here to include your profile signature. Check here to subscribe to this topic.