| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 14 Mar 2013 : 23:05:24
Wouldn't it be funny if someone typo'd or deliberately reinterpreted certain spells? Arcane eye is boring; how about arcane nose? Bale instead of bane. Fear becomes lear. Leave the P off of passwall.
So that's basically where this comes from. Just looking at spell lists (the 3.5 PH for now), kinda crosseyed. Some are useful, others are just (hopefully) amusing. Feedback and suggestions are welcome.
I'm not concerned with assigning spell levels or formally writing them up as spells. You're welcome to do so if you like.
I'd like to maybe eventually come up with stories attached to more of these, like the legend of the apprentice and the nymph, but... time will tell.
acid blade/mace/spike - adaptation of flame blade, expanded to any weapon type and use by asn/clr/sor/wiz.
acid strike - adaptation of flame strike, modified for use by sor/wiz.
ageusia - As blindness/deafness, but the target cannot taste.
aggravate dead - Does not create undead, but subsequent speak with dead spells directed at aggravated dead will be less effective. Aggravated dead are always treated as if their alignment opposes that of the caster, meaning that they always get a Will save to resist responding at all to attempts to speak with them. Aggravated dead who do respond will be vague and verbose (which wastes the limited duration of speak with dead, possibly limiting the number of questions that will be answered). The aggravated individual will be surly, unhelpful, and abusive. Since the dead have infinite patience and no concept of time, grudges last forever. The duration of aggravate dead is "instantaneous" and therefore permanent.
anaphia - As blindness/deafness, but the target cannot feel tactile sensation.
anosmia - As blindness/deafness, but the target cannot smell.
arcane nose - As arcane eye, but it creates an invisible illusory nose (you can only see it with detect invisibility and then only if you're susceptible to illusions) through which you smell.
arcane smell - As arcane sight, but you smell magical auras; stronger auras are more pungent.
asswall - Creates a wall of uh... donkeys. The noise and smell are both atrocious.
authoritah - make yourself heard over all other noises, including things which normally disrupt sonic effects. this spell does not enable deafened creatures to hear you. it also does not make your voice louder; it merely makes you heard over other sounds, by individuals within normal hearing range.
bale - as bane, but it has no effect on targeted creatures; it causes hay in the area of effect to adhere to itself, facilitating its gathering into large rolls... so not much like bane at all.
barkness - transforms a vertical surface into rough bark (strong enough that it doesn't chip or flake off); facilitates climbing. The area depends on caster level, but can be shaped by the caster.
softer barkness - transforms a vertical surface into a papery bark that can be easily hacked through with any edged weapon - depth depends on caster level, as wall spells
blade burier - Weapons (of all types; not just bladed ones) sink into the ground. Affects all unattended weapons in a radius equal to 10 feet per caster level. At caster levels up to 15, the spell will function only on earth of any sort including clay and unworked stone. For caster levels above 15, the spell will function on floors of nonmagical wood, metal, and worked stone. For caster levels above 20, the spell will even function on magical floors including walls of force and prismatic walls.
blank - all hue is removed from the target, and all parts of the target become white and opaque - this spell does not dispel or counter invisibility or darkness, and it does not change armor class or any other game details; it merely changes the visual appearance of the target for those who perceive it - incorporeal targets remain incorporeal, but this spell will make them more visible - the effect on Hide checks vary by situation and are left to the DM
brick fall - distance is doubled when calculating falling damage; all reductions to falling damage are nullified
bull's grace - the subject gains a -4 penalty to Dexterity, with all corresponding effects.
cat's strength - the subject gains a -4 penalty to Strength, with all corresponding effects.
cause lear - the target becomes frightening. this spell has several effects: the target loses all current bonuses to Charisma, and gains immunity to such benefits for the duration; the target's base Charisma is reduced to 3; Paladins lose their class abilities as if they had committed a violation of their alignment; clerics and paladins alike may need to atone, depending on the deity (Sune, for example, would require atonement; Talona would not). The reduction in Charisma is not ability damage or drain; for the duration of the spell, the character is treated as if the player had assigned a "3" to Charisma. When the spell expires or is dispelled, the character's usual Charisma is restored and any other spells affecting Charisma once again take effect provided that they haven't expired.
chair lightning - this spell can only be cast on a seat, up to one cubic foot per level in volume (you may arrange the volume in any way you wish, in cubic-foot blocks); any object which is designed to be sat upon, or any object which is currently being sat upon, qualifies. The next time something touches the object, within 1 minute, (or immediately if it's currently being sat upon) the effect is triggered. When triggered, the target object emits arcs and sparks for one round, dealing electricity damage. spell resistance and electricity resistance apply, but since it's a melee touch attack it automatically hits. A reflex save for half damage is possible. If more than one being is sitting on the object, they are all affected.
circle of dearth - a circle of dearth removes wealth, in all forms - magic items, nonmagical items, water, minerals and metals, nonintelligent plants and animals... everything except intelligent creatures and bare dead dirt. eligible items vanish from the area of effect, and are scattered around the world from which they were scoured. equipment and money tends to reappear in the lairs of dragons and other fearsome beasts. Plants and animals are transported 1d100 miles in a random direction, either as a group or separately.
clam emotions - Does not remove or suppress emotion, but prevents its expression. No matter what the target feels (pain, anger, love, sorrow, elation, whatever) he/she appears to be utterly apathetic. The target is not silenced, but says nothing and does nothing connected to any emotion. The subject can attempt to defend itself against physical (but not nonphysical) attacks, but cannot counterattack or express any reaction to being attacked. Involuntary responses including flinches and withdrawal from painful contact are also suppressed.
cure wounds 1: as cure light wounds, but automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster. heals 1d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 1d8+5 (13).
cure wounds 2: as cure moderate wounds, but automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster. heals 2d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 2d8+10 (26).
cure wounds 3: as cure serious wounds, but automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster. heals 3d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 3d8+15 (39).
cure wounds 4: as cure critical wounds, but automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster. heals 4d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 4d8+20 (52).
cure wounds 5: heals 5d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 5d8+25 (65). automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster.
cure wounds 6: heals 6d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 6d8+30 (78). automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster.
cure wounds 7: heals 7d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 7d8+35 (91). automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster.
cure wounds 8: heals 8d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 8d8+40 (104). automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster.
cure wounds 9: heals 9d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 9d8+45 (117). automatically maximized for subjects with the same patron power as the caster.
delay poisson - a slow spell which is (only) effective in aquatic environments.
delayed backdraft - a fireball which streaks to its destination, hovers for a caster-determined period of time, then spews fiery death back at the origination point.
detect aberrations or magical beasts - you can detect a particular kind of aberration or magical beast in a cone emanating from you in a direction of your choice.
detect chaos theory - you can detect nearby applications of chaos theory. this spell does not grant any understanding of chaos theory.
detect flaw - Find one blemish or not-quite-perfect feature on any creature you look at. A quick-thinking apprentice once employed this spell when coming unexpectedly upon a nymph. She was initially surprised and displeased by his abrupt appearance, but he survived the full revelation of her supernatural beauty, and his ability to subsequently converse respectfully in spite of his admiration piqued her curiosity. Over the following years, as the apprentice "earned his robes" and became a full-fledged wizard, he also became a trusted friend of the forest creatures and their queen. When a horde of orcs descending out of the north swarmed the wizard's tower and overwhelmed his magical defenses, it's said that the nearby forest grew dark and ominous. A wall of mighty trees pulled their roots out of the earth and marched to surround the tower, and ghostly frigid winds from nowhere whistled out of their boughs and routed the superstitious horde. A number of orcs were frozen in these winds, turned abruptly into statues of ice. As the horde fled from the suddenly-murky forest and the great stamping trees that had emerged from it, the wizard's tower slid silently across the earth, pulled by unseen hands into the depths of the woods. The truth of this story may never be known, as the orcs slaughtered most of the woodsmen who lived in their path, but rangers who arrived the next week to verify the panicked rumors of an orc horde found the wizard's tower utterly gone... where the tower's foundation should have still lain, if it had been destroyed, there was a single weirwood sapling, surrounded by a ring of mature oaks which had not been there the previous season. Orcish corpses, burned and battered by the tower's defenses, lay strewn about this new stand of trees, and several man-sized blocks of ice were melting under the early autumn sun. Since then, adventurers have reported a stone tower at the edge of a deep clear pool where a nymph has occasionally been spotted. Strange and powerful misdirection magic seems to be at work, because every map of the wood's heart is different. Travelers often "correct" their earlier maps after subsequent trips through the forest, only to change it again later.
detect mood - This spell, which lasts 1 round per 2 caster levels, detects moods. Each round, you may concentrate on one person within range, and determine whether or not they are moody.
detect obvious doors - this spell is useful for those moments when you know there's a door, but you can't find it... precisely because it doesn't require a Search check - "can't see the forest for the trees" kinds of times.
detect weevil - are there any weevils in your vicinity? do you know? now you can!
dimensional window - it's not a door so you can't go through it, but you can look.
discern past location - you know where it is now, but where has it been? you know what i mean... whose bed have these boots been under?
discern truth - sometimes picking out the grains of truth is quicker/easier than sifting through the lies.
disguise: Melf - Take on the appearance of Melf - obviously there are many applications. This spell does not augment your level, spellcasting ability, or resistance to angered mages... it's a safe bet that Melf will not be flattered or impressed.
earthquack - An enormous maw opens up in the earth nearby, lengthening and narrowing into a ducklike bill. The utterance which inevitably follows has been described as "the last thing i heard" and "well, i don't know... everybody who was there died instantly."
false death - This spell allows you to fake the death of the target creature. Any method of death you can imagine... the spell will create an illusion to depict it. Conclusions jumped to by viewers cannot be controlled by this spell. Based on a 2e magical item: the six amulets of dramatic death, IIRC.
find the wrath - All signs magical and otherwise point you in the direction of the nearest hostile monster of CR equal to or greater than your level. This spell does not tell you anything about the monster, other than its direction and relative distance. Notably, you don't know how big its Friends & Family circle is. All that's certain is "this way to adventure!"
finger of life - Restores any single undead being to life. Lost limbs are regenerated. Memory of deeds performed while undead are only retained if the undead was intelligent. A Will save is available for intelligent targets who wish to resist, and SR applies.
fire ball - Fires a ball. The caster chooses the material of the ball and the direction in which it is fired. The mass of the ball are determined by caster level. The caster may deliberately lower the mass, but may not raise it. Ultimately, damage is determined by a combination of the material and mass. So, depending on the caster, this spell may create and launch anything from a small pellet approximating a garbonzo bean to a gigantic boulder of gold. The ball vanishes at the end of this round.
fire fog - Adaptation of acid fog.
fire map - Appears to be a map until someone approaches near enough to examine it. Then it blows up.
greater flame blade - Functions underwater as well as all other environments.
flies - Summons a swarm of nasty bugs. The din it creates disrupts sonic effects and renders all non-enhanced (enhancement meaning spells like authoritae) speech inaudible.
force darts - adaptation of burning spray.
forceball - adaptation of fireball.
forcemage - creates an entity composed of force which employs force-based spells. The ability scores, alignment, and saving throws of the forcemage are equal to that of the caster, but the caster does not have any control over the forcemage. Furthermore, control over the forcemage cannot be achieved through any known spell... although a forcemage of sufficient intelligence might feign being in thrall.
forcerage - forces a target creature capable of raging to immediately do so.
freedom of speech - as freedom of movement but creates a temporary exception to silencing spells.
ghoulberry - Rots a handful of freshly picked berries. Eating a ghoulberry turns you into a ghoul and makes you very hungry (essentially erasing the last significant meal you ate, and any snacks you've had since then). Ghouls can't get no satisfaction; no amount of consumption while in ghoulform will remove the feeling of hunger. After ghoulishness wears off, the consumer is exhausted (as per 3.5 DMG page 300) until they have a significant meal and a full (8 hours) rest... again, regardless of how much was consumed while in ghoulform. Any humanoid can eat a ghoulberry and enjoy (or not so much) its effects; other creature types are unaffected but still find the berries to taste vile. Dragons or other creatures currently in human form don't count as humanoid.
greater globe of invulnerability - 9th level - blocks spells of 8th level or lower.
hallucinatory companion - Creates a phantasm of a specific creature (the caster must specify a particular individual; the spell will not create a "generic" human for example). Both the original creature and the phantasm (when it appears) must be within armsreach of the caster. If the original creature is capable of movement, speech, pheromones, or whatever else... so is the phantasm. However, the phantasm has only a shadow of the original creature's intelligence and responds according to the apparent desires of those around it. The phantasm understands (only) the languages spoken by the caster. The phantasm has no concept of danger or situational behavior, so as long as it understands the communication it will comply with any order, and provide what it hopes is the desired response to any question put to it. It also doesn't plan ahead and has virtually no memory, so it can be easily caught in a lie (which it also will not understand) by a creative interrogator. The phantasm will not initiate or respond to violence. It doesn't have a mind of its own, and cannot be contacted through psionics or magic. It is intangible, but doesn't vanish when interacted with... so anyone who touches it will know it's incorporeal, but it persists, making it look like a ghost rather than an illusion. Duration: 2 hours per caster level.
hollow - Guts a building, up to 1000 cubic feet per caster level. On the outside, nothing changes right away... on the inside, everything is dumped into the astral plane. Intelligent creatures get a Fortitude save to resist being planeshifted. If the building has a roof, or has one or more floors above the ground floor, the building collapses in 1d4 rounds due to loss of structural support.
holy moly - An illusionary meteor swarm strikes nearby, causing all witnesses within Medium range (100 ft +10 ft per caster level) to make a Will save or surrender to the caster. Creatures with fewer HD than the caster must make a Fort save or be stunned for 1d4 rounds. The illusion includes auditory, olfactory, and tactile components - all creatures (except the caster) within thirty feet of the impact area are affected by a knockdown effect during the swarm, the terrain looks and smells charred and melted afterwards, intense heat radiates from the affected area, etc.
holy spite - The subject creature is seized by divine passion, to the point that every attack the subject makes this round automatically threatens a crit, and non-critical attacks still cause maximum damage. Next round, the subject realizes that he/she was momentarily in the grip of something other than their patron power, and is filled with remorse and self-loathing; the subject cannot complete any actions (so no attacks or movement) on this round. Paladins (and potentially clerics) lose class-related powers until atonement is obtained.
horrid hyponatremia - This spell creates excess water in the body of each subject creature. "Hyponatremia" refers to lowering the concentration of sodium in the human body to an unhealthy extent, but the game application is that the excess water bursts the creature's cells and deals 1d6 damage per caster level. Water-related creatures of the elemental Type are healed for 2 hp per caster level. Constructs, undead, and other elementals are unaffected by this spell.
inflict wounds 1: as inflict light wounds. deals 1d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 1d8+5 (13).
inflict wounds 2: as inflict moderate wounds. deals 2d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 2d8+10 (26).
inflict wounds 3: as inflict serious wounds. deals 3d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 3d8+15 (39).
inflict wounds 4: as inflict critical wounds. deals 4d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 4d8+20 (52).
inflict wounds 5: deals 5d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 5d8+25 (65).
inflict wounds 6: deals 6d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 6d8+30 (78).
inflict wounds 7: deals 7d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 7d8+35 (91).
inflict wounds 8: deals 8d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 8d8+40 (104).
inflict wounds 9: deals 9d8 damage, plus 1 per caster level, to a maximum of 9d8+45 (117).
At the DM's discretion, damage may be maximized against targets with a particular patron power. For example, Cyric could maximize damage for his priests casting these spells against followers of Mystra.
laze - Makes the target apathetic.
life ward - The subject gains immunity to the effects of all light and positive energy spells, including cure spells and sunburst.
liquid form - as gaseous form, but... liquid.
magic armor - as magic weapon, but it adds a +1 enhancement bonus to the armor class of any piece of manufactured/fabricated armor; it doesn't function on armor crafted of organic materials including leather, wood, or chitin.
greater magic armor - as greater magic weapon, but it adds an enhancement bonus to the armor class of any piece of manufactured/fabricated armor, equal to +1 per four caster levels.
magic hide - as magic fang, but it adds a +1 enhancement bonus to the armor class of any piece of armor crafted from organic materials, or to a creature's natural armor. this spell doesn't function on armor constructed of inorganic materials including metal, stone, or magical force.
greater magic hide - as greater magic fang, but it adds an enhancement bonus to the armor class of any piece of armor crafted from organic materials, or to a creature's natural armor, equal to +1 per four caster levels. this spell doesn't function on armor constructed of inorganic materials including metal, stone, or magical force.
reintegrate - counters and reverses disintegrate.
solid form - as gaseous form, but... solid.
spiderporn - fills the target's mind with explicit images of arachnids, enhanced for purely prurient purposes. the target must make a Will save each round for the duration (1 round per caster level) or be overcome with revulsion and unable to take any action. At the spell's conclusion, the target must make a final Will save or be affected by insanity (the PH spell). a favorite of drow priestesses attacking members of other races.
trapfinder - the subject finds all available traps... by triggering them. this spell imposes a -2 penalty on all saves related to avoiding the effects of traps.
Suggestions for renaming and other alterations:
* enlarge vermin - more descriptive than giant vermin
* lesser globe of invulnerability - reduce to 3rd level
* globe of invulnerability - affects spells up to 5th level
* horrid wilting - remove from the water domain; horrid hyponatremia takes its place - change the water elemental damage to something like "water-related creatures of the elemental Type take +2 points of damage per die" instead of the less inclusive and less severe current writing.
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| 27 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| The Masked Mage |
Posted - 16 Mar 2013 : 14:22:47
quote:
Originally posted by xaeyruudh
Size matters: enlarge person is cool, but what is a mean DM to do with spellcasting villains who want to enlarge their critters? Giant vermin just isn't versatile enough.
The basic spell enlarge can do any of these.
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| The Masked Mage |
Posted - 16 Mar 2013 : 14:21:14
quote:
Originally posted by xaeyruudh
Wouldn't it be funny if someone typo'd or deliberately reinterpreted certain spells? Arcane eye is boring; how about arcane nose? Bale instead of bane. Fear becomes lear. Leave the P off of passwall.
There were a few old dragon articles that did this. They were called Outrages From the Mages (or some variation of that; more, still more, etc.) Examples include:
Audible Curse
Bigby's Insulting Hand (hard to guess what this does eh?)
Bigby's Interposing Eye
Drawmij's Instant Death
Most were totally useless while others were just funnny. |
| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 16 Mar 2013 : 06:05:16
quote:
Originally posted by Wooly Rupert
When talking about spells I sometimes wish for, I want ones that could be used in the real world...
I really like all of those ideas. I often want to remove the capacity for playing bass... if you can't use it responsibly, you shouldn't be able to use it at all. And tonight I was stuck behind someone who barely managed a standard right-hand turn at an intersection. Creeping along at maybe 10 mph for 50 feet before and after... and then turning into the McDonald's parking lot. *facepalm* |
| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 16 Mar 2013 : 05:55:48
quote:
Originally posted by Ayrik
You might find my old Typo affliction somewhat interesting.
I like ball of forks. And Melf's flaccid arrow is just wrong, Wooly. nice thread.
I wonder if Matt James went anywhere with it? |
| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 16 Mar 2013 : 05:50:01
Wow. I had a feeling that some of them had probably been done already, but I didn't realize that many had or that they dated back to 2e. Cool. And thanks for the sources!
quote:
Originally posted by TBeholder
Oh, come on. I know that you know. And probably have seen it in OotS, too. 
Sorry to disappoint. There was no sinister motive to copy/flavor anybody else's work here. I was just going through the PH spells and snickered a few times and decided I was bored enough to make a list.
 |
| Wooly Rupert |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 18:43:43
When talking about spells I sometimes wish for, I want ones that could be used in the real world...
Like a spell that makes someone's car engine sputter and then die for a few minutes, to be used on the guy who is changing lanes every 2.3 seconds so that he can get half a car-length ahead by the next traffic light.
Or a spell that permanently affect's someone's car stereo, so that no matter what they do, it will only play bagpipe music.
Or one that will engage someone's accelerator for a few seconds, when they are either refusing to turn despite a lack of oncoming traffic, or when you can't quite get around them because there is a car next to you.
Can you tell that one of my biggest daily pet peeves is other drivers? I have become convinced that for most people, getting behind the wheel dramatically lowers their IQ! |
| Ayrik |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 17:22:15
<ahem>
You might find my old Typo affliction somewhat interesting. |
| Marc |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 12:00:49
few silly ones that I remember - glitterlust; power word: chill; power word: castrate; fold person; Mordy's wonderful brothel |
| TBeholder |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 10:16:47
quote:
Originally posted by xaeyruudh
Wouldn't it be funny if someone typo'd or deliberately reinterpreted certain spells? [...]
Here's a good chunk of fullfilled wishes and pretty close hits, all from AD&D2/PO, just for a challenge:
anosmia : anosmia (Dragon Annual2) Wiz 1 Alteration 
arcane smell : arcane sight without accurate pinpointing and other intricacies would be... right, pretty much detect magic.
asswall : there's at least Wall of Sound (The Complete Bard's Handbook Wiz/Bar 3 Evocation). I suppose the smell component can be purchased separately with variants of stinking cloud. Though if you only want it to be passable, yet unpleasant for anything alive in as many ways as possible, add Wall of Gloom (PO:Spells&Magic Wiz 2 Conjuration/Summoning [Shadow]) and maybe Wall of Sand (FRA, The Magister, PftM Wiz 3 Evocation).
authoritah : Captain's Voice (Dragon #242 Wiz 2 Alteration).
barkness : close enuff - Tar (Gazetteer #9 Merchant-prince 1 Alteration). Its 3.x remake Resinous Tar (Complete Mage: all arcane 1 Conjuration [Creation]) doesn't mention climbing, though perhaps should.
blade burier : the closest available is [Sirellyn's] superior magnetism (PO:Spells&Magic Wiz 6 Alteration) - just throw the focus down some well or hole and look how all lighter metal objects in range try to follow. I still think that using as foci stones pre-loaded into trebuchet is far more hilarious, however.
blank : Color (Wiz 1 Alteration) does less and Glitterdust (Wiz 2 Conjuration/Summoning) does more, but probably something area-affecting can be done. I suppose one could summon scile or a hundred, but by eating colors the little pests will wash the victim into invisibility. Then again, a swarm of sciles + a bucket of chalk powder gives more or less what you want.
brick fall : Nothing official, but... Anvil Fall (The Net Wizard's Handbook Wiz 2 Alteration).
delayed backdraft : other than delay, it's close to Mirror Fireball (Dragon # 241 Wiz 5 Evocation)
by Hoondarrh - before "update" it was fireball (double-sized, but fixed at 9d8/half) popping up in line-of-sight (range 30+10/lvl yds), mainly used to negate cover and/or catch the opponents between it and breath weapon - hence "mirror" in its name.
detect mood : Rary's Empathic Perception (Dragon #249, Greyhawk Adventures Wiz 1 Divination).
dimensional window : Remote Access (Dragon #239 Wiz 4 Alteration [Dimension]). Peek, backstab, remove something from a closed container (bring your own light), pick a pocket... anything that can be done in one round (not counting metamagic), but no casting spells or shooting through it.
fire ball : seeing as it's less specialized than proper bladeleap, why bother and differentiate this much? Catapult (Forgotten Realms Adventures, The Magister, Pages from the Mages Wiz 1 Alteration [Force])
fire fog : Incendiary Cloud, obviously.
fire map : Oh, come on. I know that you know. And probably have seen it in OotS, too.
greater flame blade : there were a few "unquenchable fire" type spells. Firebrand (Pages from the Mages, The Magister Wiz 4 Evocation) is specifically said to burn underwater and used on weapons (adds 1d4+1 of fire damage, but no "flametongue" traits or other bonuses). Does the same on a creature's appendage, for that matter (also without harming it).
freedom of speech : Dispel Silence (Pages from the Mages, Forgotten Realms Adventures Wiz 3 Abjuration, Alteration) - does what it says. Vocalize (Unearthed Arcana, Oriental Adventures, Heroes' Lorebook, The Complete Wizard's Handbook, Pages from the Mages, Forgotten Realms Adventures Wiz 2 Alteration) - silence is still here, but for spellcasting purpose it's circumvented. Both are inherently silent, obviously.
greater globe of invulnerability : Mystic Sphere (Ruins of Myth Drannor - Phaerimm spell Wiz 9 Abjuration), Alteration.
hallucinatory companion : there were a few of dirty tricks to this end, from skeletal bride (The Seven Sisters Wiz 6 Necromancy) - and up, but what your specification describes is clearly a simulacrum.
holy moly : Even funnier - fake retributive strike blast + cowing everyone in sight. Fearfire (City of Splendors Wiz 3 Enchantment/Charm, Illusion).
liquid form : Watery Form (Gazetteer 9, Pirates of the Fallen Stars Wiz 3 Alteration). And from there up - Elemental Form (Secrets of the Lamp Wiz 4 Alteration); Water Form (Arabian Adventure Wiz 4 Alteration);
reintegrate - Nope. For slightly less severe cases there was Unburn, though.
spiderporn - There was neogi spell Arachnophobia (Dragon #184 Wiz 3 Illusion/Phantasm). And now we know how exactly it works... why, THANK YOU. 
trapfinder - Anything from unseen servant to summoned boars to disguised semi-corporeal decoys like Shadow Skeleton (Dragon #181, Pages from the Mages Wiz 4 Illusion/Phantasm [Shadow]) or more advanced test dummies such as skeletal bride.
quote:
Originally posted by xaeyruudh
detect flaw - Find one blemish or not-quite-perfect feature on any creature you look at. A quick-thinking apprentice once employed this spell when coming unexpectedly upon a nymph.
[fanfic skipped] I too like The Snow Queen, but the spell's primary purpose was obviously tactical.  |
| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 07:34:40
Nice. Holly aura would hurt. I like leather fall. Cone of old is good too, I had a couple of cones I just hadn't gotten around to writing descriptions for but I didn't think of "old". Funny stuff.  |
| Aulduron |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 04:05:26
Astral Protection- Prevents Astral travel.
Planar Alley- opens a gate between buildings in a different plane
Holly Aura- target becomes entwined in Holly vines
Glyph of Wading- fills room with 2 feet of water |
| Dalor Darden |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 03:54:19
Harm Person - an invisible force hurts the target
Melf's Minute Meteors - launches a series of meteors all within one minute
Leather Fall - targets leather armor falls off
Assmorph - targets arses turn into biting mouths that attack
Wall of Ire - targeted wall becomes angry and falls on nearby targets
Low - targets feel sad
Care- target gains great desire to protect the caster
Fool's Old - causes the target to temporarily become senile
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| Aulduron |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 03:41:24
True Peeing- cures any prostate problem, STD, or bladder infection.
Insect Plaque- You summon a stuffed and mounted mosquito
Naturalize Poison- gain a temporary immunity to poison.
Praise Dead- any undead in the area of effect feel better about themselves.
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| Aulduron |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 02:58:56
It's been done. Tasha's Hideous Laughter was supposed to be Tasha's Hideous Slaughter.
Magic Mussel-summons a small shellfish
Magic Muscle- use your imagination.
Cone of old-Ages target
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| sfdragon |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 02:25:52
Im sorry I cant resist
RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!!!!!! |
| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 02:12:07
Thanks for the feedback. :)
I'm seeing some places where I need to clarify what I was thinking, but I want to leave it as wide open as possible for interpretation.
Woohoo for devilry! |
| Dalor Darden |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 00:25:16
I like this!
My favorite so far is actually:
delayed backdraft - a fireball which streaks to its destination, hovers for a caster-determined period of time, then spews fiery death back at the origination point.
I can think of all sorts of devilry for that! |
| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 00:16:39
Fight my enemies for me, while I act untouchable and important.
Unlike the summon monster 1-9, summon nature's ally 1-9, and I think summon undead 1-5 spells, these are just single spells. The CR of the creature(s) you summon should depend on caster level, but this gives you more control over what will appear, and the spells should probably have a fixed duration instead of making that level-dependent too. Ymmv.
summon aberration
summon animal
summon construct
summon dragon
summon elemental
summon fey
summon giant
summon humanoid
summon magical beast
summon monstrous humanoid
summon ooze
summon outsider
summon plant
summon undead
summon vermin
summon air creature
summon earth creature
summon fire creature
summon water creature
summon cool creature
summon warm creature
summon incorporeal creature
summon chaotic creature
summon evil creature
summon good creature
summon lawful creature
summon reptilian
summon shapechanger
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 00:11:03
Ugh, get off me!
repel aberrations
repel animals
repel constructs
repel dragons
repel elementals
repel fey
repel giants
repel humanoids
repel magical beasts
repel monstrous humanoids
repel oozes
repel outsiders
repel plants
repel undead
repel vermin - in the PH; this is the basis for this category of spells.
repel air creatures
repel earth creatures
repel fire creatures
repel water creatures
repel cool creatures - (hah... i want 2 b lame)
repel warm creatures
repel incorporeal creatures
repel chaotic creatures
repel evil creatures
repel good creatures
repel lawful creatures
repel reptilians
repel shapechangers
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 00:04:01
Protection spells - pretty self-explanatory
protection from aberrations
protection from animals
protection from constructs
protection from dragons
protection from elementals
protection from fey
protection from giants
protection from humanoids
protection from magical beasts
protection from monstrous humanoids
protection from oozes
protection from outsiders
protection from plants
protection from undead
protection from vermin
protection from air creatures
protection from earth creatures
protection from fire creatures
protection from water creatures
protection from cool creatures
protection from warm creatures
protection from incorporeal creatures
protection from chaotic creatures
protection from evil creatures
protection from good creatures
protection from lawful creatures
protection from reptilians
protection from shapechangers
magic circle against aberrations
magic circle against animals
magic circle against constructs
magic circle against dragons
magic circle against elementals
magic circle against fey
magic circle against giants
magic circle against humanoids
magic circle against magical beasts
magic circle against monstrous humanoids
magic circle against oozes
magic circle against outsiders
magic circle against plants
magic circle against undead
magic circle against vermin
magic circle against air creatures
magic circle against earth creatures
magic circle against fire creatures
magic circle against water creatures
magic circle against cool creatures
magic circle against warm creatures
magic circle against incorporeal creatures
magic circle against chaotic creatures
magic circle against evil creatures
magic circle against good creatures
magic circle against lawful creatures
magic circle against reptilians
magic circle against shapechangers
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 15 Mar 2013 : 00:01:00
Location spells... locate creature seems to cover all of these; I'm offering them for those who (like me) think it makes good sense to have a tailored spell for each type of creature rather than giving a caster one spell which can hone in on any type of creature, even if he's never encountered them before. Having multiple spells enables you to differentiate them according to criteria you set. Maybe locate animal is lower-level and/or has a longer duration than locate outsider, or maybe not.
locate/obscure aberration
locate/obscure animal
locate/obscure construct
locate/obscure dragon
locate/obscure elemental
locate/obscure fey
locate/obscure giant
locate/obscure humanoid
locate/obscure magical beast
locate/obscure monstrous humanoid
locate/obscure ooze
locate/obscure outsider
locate/obscure plant
locate/obscure undead
locate/obscure vermin
locate/obscure air creature
locate/obscure earth creature
locate/obscure fire creature
locate/obscure water creature
locate/obscure cool creature
locate/obscure warm creature
locate/obscure incorporeal creature
locate/obscure chaotic creature
locate/obscure evil creature
locate/obscure good creature
locate/obscure lawful creature
locate/obscure reptilian
locate/obscure shapechanger
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 14 Mar 2013 : 23:47:42
Stop right there! Like the charm spells above, hold spells targeted to specific types of monster should be lower-level and may affect creatures unaffected by the generic hold monster.
hold aberration
hold animal
hold construct
hold dragon
hold elemental
hold fey
hold giant
hold humanoid
hold magical beast
hold monstrous humanoid
hold ooze
hold outsider
hold plant
hold undead
hold vermin
hold air creature
hold earth creature
hold fire creature
hold water creature
hold cool creature
hold warm creature
hold incorporeal creature
hold chaotic creature
hold evil creature
hold good creature
hold lawful creature
hold reptilian
hold shapechanger
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 14 Mar 2013 : 23:43:21
You can run, but you can't... waitaminnit... yes I can!
hide from aberrations
hide from animals - already in the PH
hide from constructs
hide from dragons
hide from elementals
hide from fey
hide from giants
hide from humanoids
hide from magical beasts
hide from monstrous humanoids
hide from oozes
hide from outsiders
hide from plants
hide from undead - already in the PH
hide from vermin
hide from air creatures
hide from earth creatures
hide from fire creatures
hide from water creatures
hide from cool creatures
hide from warm creatures
hide from incorporeal creatures
hide from chaotic creatures
hide from evil creatures
hide from good creatures
hide from lawful creatures
hide from reptilians
hide from shapechangers
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 14 Mar 2013 : 23:38:32
Size matters: enlarge person is cool, but what is a mean DM to do with spellcasting villains who want to enlarge their critters? Giant vermin just isn't versatile enough.
enlarge/reduce aberration
enlarge/reduce animal
enlarge/reduce construct
enlarge/reduce dragon
enlarge/reduce elemental
enlarge/reduce fey
enlarge/reduce giant
enlarge/reduce humanoid
enlarge/reduce magical beast
enlarge/reduce monstrous humanoid
enlarge/reduce ooze
enlarge/reduce outsider
enlarge/reduce plant
enlarge/reduce undead
enlarge/reduce vermin
enlarge/reduce air creature
enlarge/reduce earth creature
enlarge/reduce fire creature
enlarge/reduce water creature
enlarge/reduce cool creature
enlarge/reduce warm creature
enlarge/reduce incorporeal creature
enlarge/reduce chaotic creature
enlarge/reduce evil creature
enlarge/reduce good creature
enlarge/reduce lawful creature
enlarge/reduce reptilian
enlarge/reduce shapechanger
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 14 Mar 2013 : 23:35:18
A redefinition of disruption: an attack specifically crafted to damage the essence of a particular type of creature. Against creatures of other types, the attack causes half damage or (with a successful save) no damage.
disrupt aberration - As disrupt undead, but effective primarily against aberrations.
disrupt animal
disrupt construct
disrupt dragon
disrupt elemental
disrupt fey
disrupt giant
disrupt humanoid
disrupt magical beast
disrupt monstrous humanoid
disrupt ooze
disrupt outsider
disrupt plant
disrupt undead
disrupt vermin
disrupt air creature
disrupt earth creature
disrupt fire creature
disrupt water creature
disrupt cool creature
disrupt warm creature
disrupt incorporeal creature
disrupt chaotic creature
disrupt evil creature
disrupt good creature
disrupt lawful creature
disrupt reptilian
disrupt shapechanger
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 14 Mar 2013 : 23:32:57
Give the school of divination a case of Red Bull, with some more detection spells.
detect aberration
detect animal
detect construct
detect dragon
detect elemental
detect fey
detect giant
detect humanoid
detect magical beast
detect monstrous humanoid
detect ooze
detect outsider
detect plant
detect undead - The only one of these spells that already exists. The key to building/explaining this category of spells needs to be something other than "You can detect the aura that surrounds undead creatures." Yes, it's easy to picture a certain *shudder* air around some undead creatures, including liches and maybe zombies, but not really skeletons so much. The issue is that aberrations and oozes don't have an aura, so maybe the wording on detect undead shouldn't be quite so specific. Just sayin.
detect vermin
detect air creature
detect earth creature
detect fire creature
detect water creature
detect cool creature
detect warm creature
detect incorporeal creature
detect chaotic creature
detect evil creature
detect good creature
detect lawful creature
detect reptilian
detect shapechanger
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| xaeyruudh |
Posted - 14 Mar 2013 : 23:26:05
A few more charm spells would be nice. These would have differing but generally lower levels than charm monster, since they're focused on a particular type of monster. This focus also gives them the advantage of working against creatures which are normally not subject to charm spells.
Some of these spells already exist, but may need to be tweaked to fit into a consistent sort of system.
charm aberration
charm animal
charm construct
charm dragon
charm elemental
charm fey
charm giant
charm humanoid
charm magical beast
charm monstrous humanoid
charm ooze
charm outsider
charm plant
charm undead
charm vermin
charm air creature
charm earth creature
charm fire creature
charm water creature
charm cool creature
charm warm creature
charm incorporeal creature
charm chaotic creature
charm evil creature
charm good creature
charm lawful creature
charm reptilian
charm shapechanger
command aberrations
command animals
command constructs
command dragons
command elementals
command fey
command giants
command humanoids
command magical beasts
command monstrous humanoids
command oozes
command outsiders
command plants
command undead
command vermin
command air creatures
command earth creatures
command fire creatures
command water creatures
command cool creatures
command warm creatures
command incorporeal creatures
command chaotic creatures
command evil creatures
command good creatures
command lawful creatures
command reptilians
command shapechangers
control aberrations
control animals
control constructs
control dragons
control elementals
control fey
control giants
control humanoids
control magical beasts
control monstrous humanoids
control oozes
control outsiders
control plants
control undead
control vermin
control air creatures
control earth creatures
control fire creatures
control water creatures
control cool creatures
control warm creatures
control incorporeal creatures
control chaotic creatures
control evil creatures
control good creatures
control lawful creatures
control reptilians
control shapechangers
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