| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Erik Scott de Bie |
Posted - 02 Feb 2011 : 03:07:22
And now for something completely different . . .
In honor of a discussion I had recently, I'm doing what I promised/threatened to do, which is this:
Halfling + Human romance. Icky?
Discuss!
Cheers |
| 30 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Azar |
Posted - 31 Jan 2024 : 18:34:40
quote:
Originally posted by Ayrik
quote:
Originally posted by Azar
quote:
Originally posted by PugKing
I am a bit late but I don't see a human and a halfling romance being icky but I do understand why authors would not risk having this kind of romance in their novels especially with the way things are nowadays
Should we cater to the uninformed and shallow?
Who is "we"?
Last I checked, Wizbro was the only official (legal) publisher of D&D novels and FR novels. So if Wizbro decides that certain things must be absent or must be present in the novels they commission, then that's exactly what "we" get in the novels.
"We" cater to Wizbro if we continue to purchase or subscribe to their products. "We" simply accept that whatever Wizbro specifically publishes is acceptable. "We" can only speculate that whatever Wizbro specifically does not publish might be taboo - and on that detail "we" apply our own tolerances, intolerances, opinions, and judgements - even if "we" are those who are uninformed and shallow.
"We" in a broader societal sense...regarding "The uninterested, unimaginative and frequently delicate observers looking inward at a hobby." Concerning the context of our presently-discussed topic: people who glance at illustrations of Olive, Regis, Mazzy, Lidda (and the other 3e Xenomorph children of Yondalla), that bulbous-headed monstrosity in the 5e Players Handbook, etc and think "This is deserving of moral outrage." These folks all own timeshares on the same brain cell and yet we are supposed to feel bound to their sterling insight? |
| Ayrik |
Posted - 29 Jan 2024 : 23:17:51
quote:
Originally posted by Azar
quote:
Originally posted by PugKing
I am a bit late but I don't see a human and a halfling romance being icky but I do understand why authors would not risk having this kind of romance in their novels especially with the way things are nowadays
Should we cater to the uninformed and shallow?
Who is "we"?
Last I checked, Wizbro was the only official (legal) publisher of D&D novels and FR novels. So if Wizbro decides that certain things must be absent or must be present in the novels they commission, then that's exactly what "we" get in the novels.
"We" cater to Wizbro if we continue to purchase or subscribe to their products. "We" simply accept that whatever Wizbro specifically publishes is acceptable. "We" can only speculate that whatever Wizbro specifically does not publish might be taboo - and on that detail "we" apply our own tolerances, intolerances, opinions, and judgements - even if "we" are those who are uninformed and shallow. |
| Azar |
Posted - 28 Jan 2024 : 21:30:08
quote:
Originally posted by PugKing
I am a bit late but I don't see a human and a halfling romance being icky but I do understand why authors would not risk having this kind of romance in their novels especially with the way things are nowadays
Should we cater to the uninformed and shallow? |
| Zeromaru X |
Posted - 28 Jan 2024 : 02:46:41
quote:
Originally posted by BadCatMan
The city of Airspur in Chessenta (the original, that is, not the genasi one of 4th edition) had a 30% half-orc population after refugee orcs (not half-orcs) of a civil war in the Flaming Spike tribe settled there. Given the social tensions there in the mid–1300s, this is implied to still be relatively recent, perhaps within a generation or two. It seems that, almost as soon as they arrived, the orcs and humans began getting it on.
Of course, the priests of Bhaelros who previously ruled the city sacrificed a maiden every month, so I imagine it had a shortage of women (who'd flee or hide, unless promiscuity was a survival strategy). Meanwhile, an orc civil war would kill off a lot of orc men and leave a lot of orc women, widows and maidens, among the refugees. So, lonely human men and available (and aggressive) orc women... That's actually how my half-orc character came about. :)
As Chessenta is one of the Old Empires, a former possession of Unther, that may speak to customs there.
To clarify, both Airspur are the same city. Just that the genasi one was built over the old one (Explore Airspur, Dragon 377), and the descendants of those half-orcs still live there, as second-class citizens (Explore Airspur: Villains and Vagabonds, Dungeon 172). Yeah, I know, like 6 years later, but I just read this,  |
| PugKing |
Posted - 27 Jan 2024 : 22:40:07
I am a bit late but I don't see a human and a halfling romance being icky but I do understand why authors would not risk having this kind of romance in their novels especially with the way things are nowadays |
| Ayrik |
Posted - 21 May 2018 : 08:25:48
quote:
I once saw a gif of a human and a pixie, and the pixie fit easily into the human's hand -- which somehow didn't prevent an act that should have been physically impossible from happening.
CollegeHumor's Legend of Zelda Neil specifically pokes much comedic fun at an ongoing relationship involving this sort of physical disparity. |
| Wooly Rupert |
Posted - 20 May 2018 : 15:50:38
I never knew there was a name for such things... Rule 34, I guess.
I once saw a gif of a human and a pixie, and the pixie fit easily into the human's hand -- which somehow didn't prevent an act that should have been physically impossible from happening.
|
| LordofBones |
Posted - 20 May 2018 : 09:52:44
Shortstack fiction is relatively well-known. I mean, it's not mainstream and most of it is NC-17, but humans/elves/orcs/minotaurs getting it on with gnomes and warcraft-type goblins isn't particularly eyebrow-raising.
No, what you should really be concerned about is where half-giants come from. Dragons can at least shapeshift. |
| BadCatMan |
Posted - 06 May 2018 : 09:45:37
quote:
Originally posted by Icelander
Also, side note, in another storyline of my campaign, one set in the Vast, I have some allied orcs travelling with the PCs. They are, obviously, viewed with fear and suspicion by the common people of the Vast. On the other hand, while brutish and far from fair featured, some of them have physiques that might be considered attractive, by those who prefer extremely muscular, masculine bodies.
I'm wondering just how socially unacceptable attraction to one of them would be. Would it be analogous to a rich Roman matron attracted to a brutish German gladiator? Or more like someone who secretly had relations with a pit bull or boar?
The city of Airspur in Chessenta (the original, that is, not the genasi one of 4th edition) had a 30% half-orc population after refugee orcs (not half-orcs) of a civil war in the Flaming Spike tribe settled there. Given the social tensions there in the mid–1300s, this is implied to still be relatively recent, perhaps within a generation or two. It seems that, almost as soon as they arrived, the orcs and humans began getting it on.
Of course, the priests of Bhaelros who previously ruled the city sacrificed a maiden every month, so I imagine it had a shortage of women (who'd flee or hide, unless promiscuity was a survival strategy). Meanwhile, an orc civil war would kill off a lot of orc men and leave a lot of orc women, widows and maidens, among the refugees. So, lonely human men and available (and aggressive) orc women... That's actually how my half-orc character came about. :)
As Chessenta is one of the Old Empires, a former possession of Unther, that may speak to customs there. |
| Omenborn |
Posted - 06 May 2018 : 08:54:35
Theres nothing to say against cross race relationships if both are adults and its out of free will.
As for strange cross race relatioships. My 3ed Tiefling Bard/Assasine/Harper Agent/Harper Master now runs an Inn with his Songdragon wife.
And our Aasimar Paladin has maried an cute little Half Drow Cleric of Chauntea. |
| mastermustard |
Posted - 05 May 2018 : 14:25:35
I don't personally find it icky. If two beings are sentient and consenting, I have no problem with it morally. Hell, even if either of the above aren't true, I have no objections that would matter to the involved parties.
As a millennial the culture I was raised in is somewhat hedonistic, but I doubt the average Realmsian peasant is more morally pure than I am. It's a pretty unusual pairing though, which could lead to disdain among the ignorant. |
| Icelander |
Posted - 22 Apr 2018 : 19:08:13
I want to preface this with saying that I am in favour of everyone, fictional or not, finding love whereever they can. More power to them. Also, that as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult, it is nobody else's business what they get up to in private (or not, as the case may be, as long as no one has to be present against their will).
That being said, my initial reaction to halfling + human romance is to wonder about their physical compatibility. After all, if the halfling stands 2'8" to 3'2" tall, they'll be about an order of magnitude smaller, in terms of biomass, than some humans. Assuming more or less proportional build, that seems like some forms of sexual congress could be difficult and either painful (or even dangerous) or somewhat less than satisfying.
Of course, there are ways around every obstacle, but halfling + human romance, involving a physical element, would, at the very least, be far less convenient than such congress between partners closer in size and shape. This might not stop True Love, of course, and probably not some combinations of curiosity, xenophilia or one applicable kink or another, but it would probably interfere quite heavily with more light-hearted hook-ups.
If you need ingenuity and persistence merely to be able to have satisfying intercourse with a particular partner, you'd need a really good reason to choose that person over someone a better physical match.
I am not sure that I remember a halfling + human match in any of my campaigns, but I was struck by a random thought when I noticed that there are apparently a lot of demihuman slaves in Unther and that 2-3% of the population there are dwarves and halflings. The dwarves will make excellent slaves in many roles, of course, but as for the halflings...
They'll make sought-after body slaves and house servants, I should think. From which it is a pretty short way to wonder about the uses which decadent Untheri noble society might have had for very small, dainty, graceful demihuman slaves.
My Unther and the Old Empires in general (as well as some neighbouring lands) feature sexual mores somewhat in line with the real world Ancient World, whether that is taken to mean Hellenic or Mesopotemian culture. Binary sexual preference is the exception, rather than the rule, which does not mean that there aren't gender roles and all sorts of rules that govern sexual relations.
And decadent Unther is known for pleasure slaves, of both sexes, but perhaps more likely to be boys than girls, as well as eunuchs, harems and seraglios. An adult Untheri man will marry, one or more wives, but he may also fall in love with beautiful boys, without anyone thinking that this diminishes his manhood or interferes with his marriage. The extent to which his relationship with these boys is physical depends on various things, fashion in Untheri culture, the status of the boys, etc., but in general, slaves may be penetrated in any way that suits without any legal or social consequences for their owner.
I can certainly see a fad for halfling slaves who'll remain beautiful boys for a very long time, even if some of the physical acts will be more problematic as a consequence of their tiny size.
Also, side note, in another storyline of my campaign, one set in the Vast, I have some allied orcs travelling with the PCs. They are, obviously, viewed with fear and suspicion by the common people of the Vast. On the other hand, while brutish and far from fair featured, some of them have physiques that might be considered attractive, by those who prefer extremely muscular, masculine bodies.
I'm wondering just how socially unacceptable attraction to one of them would be. Would it be analogous to a rich Roman matron attracted to a brutish German gladiator? Or more like someone who secretly had relations with a pit bull or boar? |
| Artemas Entreri |
Posted - 20 Jun 2015 : 13:27:14
quote:
Originally posted by BEAST
quote:
Originally posted by Artemas Entreri
As long as she didn't have hairy feet, I'd get it on with a normally proportioned halfling.
You've heard of a "brown bagger"? Just gotta apply the sackcloth to the other end...
Excellent idea. I'll have a character try that sometime. |
| Artemas Entreri |
Posted - 20 Jun 2015 : 13:26:22
quote:
Originally posted by Rymac
quote:
Originally posted by Artemas Entreri
As long as she didn't have hairy feet, I'd get it on with a normally proportioned halfling.
This brings to mind a burning question: What fetishes are more common than others in the Realms? 
Oh my, that sounds like a whole new thread to me! |
| Rymac |
Posted - 19 Jun 2015 : 22:27:52
quote:
Originally posted by Artemas Entreri
As long as she didn't have hairy feet, I'd get it on with a normally proportioned halfling.
This brings to mind a burning question: What fetishes are more common than others in the Realms? |
| BEAST |
Posted - 19 Jun 2015 : 18:15:52
quote:
Originally posted by Artemas Entreri
As long as she didn't have hairy feet, I'd get it on with a normally proportioned halfling.
You've heard of a "brown bagger"? Just gotta apply the sackcloth to the other end... |
| Artemas Entreri |
Posted - 19 Jun 2015 : 15:53:23
As long as she didn't have hairy feet, I'd get it on with a normally proportioned halfling. |
| Eltheron |
Posted - 19 Jun 2015 : 06:58:41
RISE NECRO THREAD AND DO THY MASTER'S BIDDING
|
| Duneth Despana |
Posted - 18 Jun 2015 : 15:44:22
quote:
Originally posted by Ozzalum
May I bring some math into this subject? Thanks...
So I am the father of a 3ft tall human female. She is slim for her age, weighing in at 32 lbs or so. I think she has the potential to be quite tall, so for simplicity's sake, let's say she will top out at 6ft. If she kept her current appearance and were simply scaled up by a factor of 2, her weight would scale with the cube. So she would weigh 32x2^3 or 256lbs. That's certainly within the realm of possibility but I (and medical science) would no longer consider her slim.
Alternatively, if you took a tall woman with an adventurer's build, say 6ft, 160lbs (again for simplicity's sake) and scaled her down to 3ft, she'd weigh 20lbs. That's really really little.
Obviously something's up. I think I can say, (with mathematical certainty!) there is a difference between a 4yr old and miniature 25 yr old. A fact for which I am quite grateful as the father of a 4 yr old.
My advice to WotC if they are thinking of introducing the potential for a human male, halfling female romance would be to feature said female halfling on the cover, and make it extremely obvious she is actually a small curvy woman. And then have the couple find a mage to do some transmuting, because no matter how in love they are, she probably weighs less than 20lbs, and that's just silly.
And just to be extra safe, I'd skip Halflings and go straight to pixies, because I think that crosses the line to truly absurd and thus non threatening. Though of course Rule whatever still applies, I'm sure.
As for the non physical aspects, Halflings are much more accessible to humans than any of the other races. They hang out together, share culture, live similar lifespans. I could see a lasting relationship forming easily. As a comparison, humans and elves are radically different. Human/elf relationships are all about guys wanting a girl who is forever young and writers not thinking too realistically about the elf. That's why there aren't any major "romanceable" races with shorter lifespans than humans, because it would get people really thinking. "I love her, she's great, but she'll be dead before my kids are out of grade school. Oh gods, it's worse than that, our kids will only live to be 35!"
The only race I can think of like that are Centaurs, and I left my standard issue 10 ft pole at home. So I'm not touching that.
There's already been a sprite+human couple in Secomber that gave name to the Singing Sprite. |
| Drustan Dwnhaedan |
Posted - 30 Sep 2013 : 08:02:06
Got distracted with my last post and forgot to give my opinion on the topic (sorry). So long as both individuals involved are both consenting adults, I don't really have a problem with it. Although I will admit, I find the idea of a halfling x human relationship a little strange. Not icky, per se, just strange. 'So how could the 'Halfling Incident' mentioned earlier have happened?', you ask? Easy; I didn't get a say in the matter. My DM decided the event occurred while my character was completely plastered (basically, my DM was hoping it would cure my character of what he considered to be 'excessive behavior', and he succeeded... to a degree), and he only learned what happened a day or two afterwards (from a priestess of Sehanine Moonbow, who was also somehow involved in the incident).
Now, if you want a really icky relationship, even when both individuals consent to do 'it'*, how about a human x drider relationship? (My DM threatened to do this to my character when he continued with his 'excessive' habits, but my DM never made good on this threat. I think.)
*Note my clever use of the word 'it' as euphemism for... well, 'it'. (I would usually be a bit more descriptive, but I'm told this is a family-friendly site. Besides, everybody knows what I'm talking about, right? ) |
| Erik Scott de Bie |
Posted - 22 Sep 2013 : 18:03:28
Those are great stories. 
Also OMG it's back.
Cheers |
| Drustan Dwnhaedan |
Posted - 22 Sep 2013 : 08:11:12
When I first found this thread, I thought I would be forced to re-live the 'Halfling Incident', a particularly pathetic point in my character's love life, one which the rest of my gaming group will never let me live down. Then I saw this particular post:
quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
"Spank me with your tail... yeaaaah... who's a bad Drow? Who's a bad Drow? I am!!!"
I'm sorry, I couldn't get that picture out of my head.
This actually happened with my half-dragon (human) character, only he didn't use his tail (he didn't have one); he used an elven sword he had been given that's name roughly translated into Common as 'Chastisement'. The sword had some sort of spell on it that allowed it to 'redeem' evil elves, but nobody in the party could remember how to activate it. Our bard had a rather, ah, inappropriate idea on how the sword was supposed to be used, and me, being the lecher that I am, went along with it. Unfortunately, the drow my character chose as a, uh, test subject, turned out to be a Loviatarran from Dambrath, who enjoyed the situation just a little too much. (The sword, which was sentient, was not amused.) The drow eventually took to stalking my character, alongside the female halfling. (The only reason I put up with this *bleep* was because it kept the rest of the party entertained. Really, that's the only reason.) |
| thenightgaunt |
Posted - 19 Sep 2013 : 19:47:10
I apologize if this is reviving a dead thread, but I've had this exact issue come up in a game last year.
The campaign took place north of the High Moor in Secomber and involved a Chronomancer trying to change history by abusing alternate timelines to move mass laterally rather than up or down the timeline. In short, a third Troll War was going to hit Waterdeep from the High Moor and he wanted to stop it by turning Secomber into a 500 year old fortified city.
Anyway at one point the PCs were saving a community of halflings from death back in 1041DR to transplant as a starting population. They saved the day, made many a friend and at the celebration the head of the halfling militia decided to drunkenly flirt with the PC female human Paladin. The player called my bluff and since she hadn't taken any vows of chastity and respected the NPC as a warrior, one thing led to another. I used the "cross-species fertility tables" from the old "Book of Unlawful Carnal Knowledge" and had her roll randomly 2 sessions later. She rolled an 01% on the conception table and an 02% on the "# of offspring" table. So the paladin became the proud mother of twin halfling/human boys and the NPC learned that it's a VERY BAD idea to cheat on your wife with a one night stand with a Paladin and to not inform the Paladin that you're married beforehand.
The crossbreading issue wasn't treated as a strange thing and given that they later moved Dwarves into Secomber as well, the end result after 700 years was a community that was rather tolerant of cross-humanoid relationships and offspring. Even if the average ceiling height in the city was around 5ft. |
| The Red Walker |
Posted - 01 Sep 2012 : 14:57:18
quote:
Originally posted by Xnella Moonblade-Thann
I posted a little of this in the age thread that has a poll, but here's a (probably) weird one for you guys: Halfling x Dragonborn.
See, I have a female halfling who has a male dragonborn as an adventuring buddy in one of the campaigns I play in (I play the halfling while a friend of mine plays the dragonborn), and the halfling has a thing for the dragonborn. It all started when he picked up my poor halfling to throw at a dragon as a weapon (which worked out really weird when the rolls involved indicated that the dragon died from a massive critcal hit!)...and it just snowballed from there. The dragonborn is somewhat oblivious to the feelings of the halfling, thinking she sees him as a really good friend, but he gets jealous when every male, no matter the race, hits on her. Lots of fun roleplaying there, and surprisingly our DM approves of the weird plot-twist-hook.
I think you two ...err your. Haracters should just go out already  |
| Xnella Moonblade-Thann |
Posted - 01 Sep 2012 : 10:17:29
quote:
Originally posted by Alystra Illianniis
I've mentioned it before, I think, but what about a drow and half-dragon(elf) affair? If nothing else, the kids would be rather magically inclined, I'd think.
quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
"Spank me with your tail... yeaaaah... who's a bad Drow? Who's a bad Drow? I am!!!"
I'm sorry, I couldn't get that picture out of my head.
  
Just about sprayed Sprite/Coke all over my laptop yet again while at McHalaster's. |
| Alystra Illianniis |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 23:29:32
Nope, she (the half-dragon) is a 2nd ed one(from the Council of Wyrms book)- no tails or wings, just the eyes, breath-weapon, claws, and skin color (she's a half-gold). |
| Markustay |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 23:23:55
"Spank me with your tail... yeaaaah... who's a bad Drow? Who's a bad Drow? I am!!!"
I'm sorry, I couldn't get that picture out of my head. |
| Alystra Illianniis |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 23:15:05
I've mentioned it before, I think, but what about a drow and half-dragon(elf) affair? If nothing else, the kids would be rather magically inclined, I'd think. |
| BEAST |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 22:03:25
quote:
Originally posted by Markustay
You know whats really icky?
Titan/pixie love affairs.
"It sounds messy." --Drizzt Do'Urden (Homeland, Part 2: Chapter 6)
*Splat*
|
| Markustay |
Posted - 22 Aug 2012 : 18:27:12
You know whats really icky?
Titan/pixie love affairs. |
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