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Screensize: 640 x 480 800 x 600 1024 x 768 1280 x 1024 UserName: Password: Format Mode: Basic  Help  Prompt  Format: Font Andale Mono Arial Arial Black Book Antiqua Century Gothic Comic Sans MS Courier New Georgia Impact Lucida Console Script MT Bold Stencil Tahoma Times New Roman Trebuchet MS Verdana   Size 1 2 3 4 5 6   Color Black Red Yellow Pink Green Orange Purple Blue Beige Brown Teal Navy Maroon LimeGreen Message: * HTML is OFF * Forum Code is ON Smilies [quote][i]Originally posted by Aglaranna[/i] [br]Set Monsters, by David A. Brassel. His English professor gave him a B+ for it! (Oooh...) [purple]SCENE: A dimly lit forest. There are many trees, and a fog of the type made from CO2 fire extinguishers floats across the floor. It is only a few feet think. There is the noise of fire extinguishers being used. Enter Alfred, stage left. Alfred is wearing shiny chain mail, and had a sword hanging from a broad leather belt. He walks to the center of the stage, and sits down facing stage right with his back against a tree. Henry enters stage right and walks over to Alfred. Henry is wearing a blue robe and a tall pointed hat, and he is carrying a staff. Alfred stands up. HENRY: (Holding staff up away from his body slowly chants,) Ixius, Nixius, Nox. Ricius, Nixius, Rox. Orixius, Onixious, Rox. . . ALFRED: That must be a powerful spell if it takes so long to cast. HENRY: It is. (slowly) Forixius, Fonixius, Fox. . . ALFRED: (Drawing his sword. It glows.) You know I could cut you in half before you finished. HENRY: (Calmly looking at the sword) A flaming sword. Why would you want to cut me in half? ALFRED: I don’t want to be turned into a toad. HENRY: I’m not going to turn you into a toad. (Slowly) Iforicus, Ifornocius, Ifox. . . ALFRED: (Putting the point of the sword against Henry’s belly.) Then what are you going to do? HENRY: I’m not going to do anything to you. I’m going to get rid of the fog. ALFRED: Then cast the spell away from me. (Henry goes to the other side of the tree from Alfred, and faces away from Alfred.) HENRY: (Slowly) Iforextinguisher, Iforoffius, IWIZARD! (The sound of the fire extinguishers stops. The fog begins to dissipate.) ALFRED: Show off. Could you make some light? HENRY: Yes. Silence ALFRED: Well? HENRY: Well what? ALFRED: Aren’t you going to make some light? HENRY: (Walking over to Alfred and sticking out his hand.) That will be ten gold pieces. ALFRED: Outrageous! HENRY: I have to make a living. ALFRED: Try acting. Silence (Alfred reluctantly takes a small sack from his pocket and puts it into Henry’s hand.) HENRY: (Estimating the weight of the sack) This feels like only nine gold pieces. ALFRED: It’s all I have. HENRY: I was hoping for some ten gold light; oh well. . . (Lifting staff and looking up.) LIGHT! (A bare 40 watt light bulb descends to a few feet over their heads.) ALFRED: Truly astounding! It hasn’t even been invented yet. HENRY: You should see the ten gold light. Silence HENRY: Of what alignment are you? ALFRED: What does it matter? HENRY: (Lifting staff and quickly casting spell) Ithinkus Ithoughtus IREADUSMINDUS! (Normal rate of speech) How about that! We are of the same alignment. (To audience) We are now changing to the language of our alignment, but you will hear us in English. (They both sit down. Both of them are leaning their backs against trees.) ALFRED: You must be the one sent to help me. HENRY: I was hoping you would be the one to help me. Silence HENRY: Why are you alone? ALFRED: I was with a larger party, but the rest of them bought the farm. HENRY: You mean they died? ALFRED: NO! I mean they bought the farm and decided to stay on it. I left. Why did you come here alone? HENRY: I teleported. Only one can teleport at a time. Wheat or corn farm? ALFRED: Barley. HENRY: Oh. (From behind a tree behind Henry and Alfred, and Illusionist steps out. He is wearing a black robe and tall pointed hat. They sparkle. Henry and Alfred jump up.) ILLUSIONIST: What language are we speaking? ALFRED: Zap him Wiz! HENRY: You must excuse my friend, fellow magic user. You surprised us. May I ask what brings you here? ILLUSIONIST: I am on a QUEST! I search for the Golden Whatnot! HENRY AND ALFRED: The GOLDEN WHATNOT! ILLUSIONIST: I was sent on this dangerous quest by the powerful Hoe Ghan. (Henry puts his hands to his ears when he hears the name Hoe Ghan.) HENRY: Speak not his name here! ALFRED: I find nothing wrong with that name. He is very good with the sword. HENRY: He sends magic users to their deaths on impossible quests. ILLUSIONIST: As I myself was sent, but I am not dead yet. Silence HENRY: I see by your robes that you are not of the same school as I. ILLUSIONIST: True, I belong to the ancient society that practices Illusion. I make that which does not exist appear to be real. HENRY AND ALFRED: An ILLUSIONIST! ILLUSIONIST: That is I. This forest was created by me. The trees are not real! (He picks up a tree, exposing its stand.) ALFRED: (To Henry) Isn’t this play anti-illusionist? HENRY: (To Alfred) Yes. ALFRED: (To Henry) Then lets get rid of him. (Alfred draws his sword and tries to attack the illusionist, but the illusionist runs too fast. He runs to the back of the stage and out through a door hidden by a tree. While this is going on Henry begins a spell that he doesn’t finish until long after the illusionist has left.) HENRY: Ettiou, Onios, Olivous. Ettious, Onious, Oblivious. GETTIOUS. GONEOUS. DISSOLVIOUS! (When Henry finishes the spell, the stage crew comes out and removes the trees, except for two near the center. A door is see in the back of the stage. The stage lights come on, and the light bulb is raised up.) ALFRED: (Looking amazed) Those lights. . . what are they? What did you do? HENRY: I cast dispel magic. Those are stage lights. ALFRED: Oh, I thought they might be ten gold lights. Silence (Henry, and Alfred sit down again the way they were before. A sign descends that says “Forest”. Henry takes out a cigar and lights it. Alfred takes a comic book out of his coat and begins to read it. He doesn’t take his eyes from it when he speaks.) HENRY: Are you any good with that sword? ALFRED: One of the best. I think everybody should take fencing lessons. It’s good for you. HENRY: Do you know why we were sent here? ALFRED: The guy writing this wouldn’t get a grade if we weren’t. HENRY: But why us? Would you like to learn a little magic? ALFRED: What for? If I need magic, I’ll get a magic user. I think I’ll get one that studied fencing. HENRY: Magic users don’t use swords. ALFRED: So? He would understand my art better. HENRY: I knew one once. He got zapped, because he didn’t have time to learn his spells, because he was too busy studying swords. ALFRED: I bet he understood what was happening when he was attacked by a fighter. Silence HENRY: I see something coming. ALFRED: What is it? HENRY: Green. ALFRED: (Still reading his comic book) Zap him Wiz. (Green monster enters from the door. Alfred gets up, dropping his comic book. He draws his sword and begins hacking away at the monster. The monster ignores him. Meanwhile, Henry casts a spell.) HENRY: (Chanting slowly) Apo, Inum, Owming. Zippo, Atim, Ining. Zappo, Attim, Downim. GREEN MONSTER: I’ve been Zapped! (Green monster then exits through the door.) ALFRED: What took you so long? HENRY: I couldn’t so it any faster. ALFRED: You could have stood up. HENRY: It wouldn’t have helped. ALFRED: Sword users stand up. HENRY: I’m a magic user. Silence (Alfred sits down and reads his comic book again.) ALFRED: We’re lucky I was here, or else we would have been killed. What’s a Golden Whatnot? HENRY: (Pulling Golden Whatnot from his pocket) This. [center]Curtain[/center][/purple] [/quote]   Check here to include your profile signature. Check here to subscribe to this topic.