| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Ranin |
Posted - 13 Jul 2005 : 01:45:53
Hello all.  I have been a part of this site for some time now and have been pilling up a story together which I am prepared to present. If anyone is interested, feel free to send me a message telling me what you think. (Feel free to be honest ) |
| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Ranin |
Posted - 14 Jul 2005 : 20:54:24
Red Moon-Prologue
The gentle waves rocked the smuggler´s ship, "Night Shark" and the warm summer night breeze would have created a calm and serene setting upon the shores of Calimshan just north of Memnon. The ship´s captain, Redilas nervously puffed on his pipe straining his eyes in the direction of the city, one of his crew doing the same from the crow´s nest. Under normal circumstances, Redilas would be far out at sea carrying stolen magical items, unusual and rare herbs and weaponry for various mercenary companies along the Sword Coast.
Not this time. Redilas remembered the previous morning, when the desperate foreign nobleman, all the way from Aglarond had bargained for safe and quiet passage to the north with his wife and infant son. The nobleman, Telrin Greymane and his wife and son, Madalia and Ranin were a perfectly harmless group. What troubled the captian was just that and the fact that Telrin had bargain more than half of his entire gold he had brought with him: 8000 pieces! Who was this nobleman? And who had he angered so to bring him into such a desperate state? One question was what brought a chill along the captain´s spine and sent his blood racing; who or what was after him.
The lookout announced the arrival of the cargo and the captain rushed to the port side of his ship, seeing the approach of Telrin and Madalia carrying her infant son. Finally after some tense moments of looking towards where the family had come from Redilas greeted Telrin.
"Cast off," commanded Redilas as the family headed below deck. The "Night Shark" gave a protesting groan as she raised her anchor and headed out to sea and finally in a northerly direction.
The following dawn showed no sign of persuit and Redilas sighed with relief. The ship headed swiftly northwards during the next weeks, with favorable winds pushing them in sight of the coastal city of Athkatla. However, Redlias looked tense. He summoned for Telrin.
Telrin joined the captain along the stern of the vessel, as he was commanded by a crew member.
"I think we must offer another exchange of services my friend", Redilas grimly said, still looking towards the southern horizon.
"And I believe I have trusted you enough so far, and now is the time for you to spill it..."
Telrin, too desperate to fear for his own life and too angry with what he was forced to deal with...what his wife and only child were forced to deal with, readied himself for any treachery.
The captain easily rested his hand on his cutlass hilt.
"I´m sure you understand my profession does not leave itself open to..."
Just then the lookout bellowed, "ships behind us!!"
Redilas bolted to the bow deck and cursed under his breath. Telrin, also squinting towards the now discernable and fast moving ships.
"They are scouts," replied Telrin with a keen eye and experience in battling pirates along the shores near Cimbar.
"You seem unconfident in your own ship Captain Redilas", Telrin stated bluntly as the captain narrowed his eyes towards Telrin. "Perhaps my investment was as misplaced as your fears",
Telrin laughed and patted the captain´s shoulder. No unfortunate incident would happen, he was sure, but the captain continued his suspicious glares Telrin´s way during the next days.
The next week brought them far past Amn. Ranin leaned on the starboard rail that night, sighing with relief as the city of Baldur´s Gate shined across the Sword Coast.
A jolt of pain suddenly seared in his left shoulder as he fell to his knees. Telrin, no stranger to battle and once an elite soldier in the wars against Thayvian cohorts, rose and drew his hidden sword from its sheath along his back waist. He grimaced as he withdrew the dagger and clenched it in his left hand.
"Those are Calishite ships, and you are no mere nobleman...you would bring chaos about my ship with your troubles would you?", The captain chuckled as he drew his cutlass. "No amount of gold is worth the trouble and I think I might just turn you and your baggage over for a very hefty sum atop your offer", Redilas drew his second weapon, a vicious looking wavy-bladed dagger. "My business insticts state you are to be dealt with in the business-like fashion-discreet and efficiently,"
Telrin drew his hidden blade from his back waist and parried the captain´s desparate offensive strikes. Telrin saw his only hope, his family´s only hope, in the form of a row boat anchored along the port deck. With the crew still asleep, Telrin, paced his attacker towards the deck, and just then came Madalia, her glorious black hair matted against her pale olive skin from a restless sleep, and Ranin desperately wailing. Her eyes widened in horror at the dual. Madalia, daughter of a naval captain in Cimbar, was also no stranger to ships. She ran to the row boat and drew her belted dagger and sliced the rope attaching the ship in one movement.
Once on the boat with her crying babe, Madalia screamed to her husband to get on. Just then, the overconfident captain made a fatal mistake. Thinking his opponent would inadvertently turn his attention to his lady in distress, he dove his cutlass clumsily towards Telrin´s chest and tried a fast turn to strike him through the back with a fast slashing dagger. Telrin anticipated the bad move perfectly, spun his sword hand easily deflecting the cutlass and caught the dagger arm in one movement, then smash his sword hilt into the captain´s nose.
The stunned captain backed off and observed bloodied hand. He gave a maniacal scream and dropped his dagger, gripping his cutlass with two hands, charging for his readied opponent. Telrin cleanly swiped the cutlass, cutting it in half, sidestepped the now dumbfound captain and sliced a gory cut through his belly then smashed his sword hilt again, this time across Redilas´ cheekbone, producing a hideous cracking sound. The defeated captain´s face hit the ship´s wooden floor with his eyes bulged, dead as a gutted fish.
Telrin raced for the rowboat and felt another searing pain, this time, in the back of the neck from a crossbow quarrel. Grimacing, he lept onto the small vessel, cutting the rest of hits moorings in one motion. Suddenly a dreadful realization hit him as the row boat crashed onto the water, Madalia clutching Ranin safely. The quarrel had hit his spine, and his body screamed with unimaginable pain. Madalia looked at him with terror lining her voice, "What is it, are you hurt?!",
"No..." Telrin replied, coughing up blood, "I just landed on a bad spot.."
The injured Telrin rowed with all of his might, with all the might his god Valkur could grant him. Arrows and crossbows fell splashing the sea around them and they were soon easily where the sea water was only waist high. Suddenly an explsion engulfed the "Sea Shark" and the escape boats which had been hoistened to the water to give chase. A bright light came from a nearby ship and soon the "Sea Shark" was quickly descending to a watery grave. Telrin made out a figure which gave him dread and made Madalia gasp with revulsion. A red- robed figure. Soon the row boat had docked on the rocky shore and Madalia lept onto the knee-high water with Ranin in her arms,
"Quickly Tel, the woods will offer us shelter!",
She ran towards the trees just as the sun was about to rise from the eastern horizon.
Telrin could could not move. Telrin had no strength. A light splash on the water turned Madalia´s attention from the trees back to the boat. Her husnad, Telrin, lay with his hand on the water, dead. Madalia knelt, her lower lip trembling. Ranin slept peacefully now. Her tear strickened face rose towards the lightnening heavens and she desperately needed to scream. She could´nt, not with her enemy´s ship so close to shore. She ran. She ran through the forest passed the trees, which seemed to silently mourn her situation. From sheer exaustion, she knelt, raised her head to the now bright sky and the sheltering canopy and screamed in utter agony. The tree tops across the Cloakwood eachoed the voice of despair and sheer loss, and the birds hushed.
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| Ranin |
Posted - 14 Jul 2005 : 18:33:28
That would be a great idea Kaladorm. Yes well I have been working on this story for a while, and this tale is sure to have intrigue, romance, and of course-adventure. So here it is...ahem... |
| Kaladorm |
Posted - 13 Jul 2005 : 13:06:48
I love a good tale :) looking forward to hearing it
There are a lot of journals on this forum actually, I wonder if it would be worth doing a compiled feedback thread where the authors and readers can exchange comments |
| Alaundo |
Posted - 13 Jul 2005 : 09:32:30
Well met, Ranin
Certainly. Feel free to present thy tale herein. It sounds like thou hast been working on this for some time. Tell me, what is the synopsis of this story? I'm very intrigued  |
| KnightErrantJR |
Posted - 13 Jul 2005 : 02:02:12
Honesty usually isn't a problem around here . . . but we're mostly a diplomatic bunch. And just in the interest of reciprocity, feel free to drop by my Campaign Journal and leave some comments as well. |
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